Well, here's what's happened to me in the past few months. Be warned, it's long, and I need to get some things off my chest.

I'll start this off, by saying, my uncle died. Ever since, I've felt like an emotional yo-yo. He was one of the rare few in my family who seemed to actually care about me. He would always seek me out, just for a chat. Be it nagging me about this or that, or praising me for being the sole supporter of my entire household.

My last memory of him, was sitting out back in the bed of his truck outside the shop (Not only do we live in the rual area of our town, but the 'Shop' is our nickname for the Mechanical Garage we had on the property.) He had gotten into making home-made wine, and we sat out there for hours talking and drinking, and getting my first taste of his wine, which wasn't half bad once you've been drinking on it for a while.

We talked about a number of things, he was one of the two people I was never afraid to open up to and just talk about feelings, fears, my wants, or needs. We had a blast talking about old memories of my Father, who died about three years ago last month. I don't remember what time it was when my cousin's fiance, who the both were currently visiting, came to drag/escort me back to the house.

I remember being put down once inside, and walking through the house, swaying and running into anything and everything, grabbing my younger brother, and hugging him, and telling him I loved him, which seemed to freak out my brother, because as soon as he was able to claw his way away, he simply pointed at me and stated "That is NOT my sister!" and hid.

Walked down the hall to my room, got to my room, where my cousin was playing on my computer, and her fiance went back to playing my 360. Until he ran out of my room when my drunk mind thought it was a good idea to start stripping. My cousin stayed the night in my room, for fear I had alcohol poisoning, but, I woke up the next morning without a problem or hangover, which was a good thing, considering the next two nights I had to work.

Two mornings later, unaware as I came home from work, only to find out later in that morning. My uncle had been found in his room, dead, from an apparent heart attack. I don't know any details, probably never will. No one ever really tells me anything, because, despite my age of 24, I'm still deemed a 'child' in their eyes.

Ever since my Father's death, I've been more open with my emotions, refusing to bottle them up as much as I can allow it. It took me MONTHS to finally realize that my Father wasn't going to come home. The entire time I never cried, except in anger, until I hit that breaking point of 'He's never coming back'. Sure, I cried at his funeral, because some of it was getting to me, the many masses of friends and family constantly telling me how 'sorry' they were, making me want to rip my hair out and yell at them for giving up on him like that.

I suppose that was the first time I was hit with a death so close. I had a Great grandmother who died when I was younger, but I never fully understood the meaning of 'death' until my Father died, who was actually my step-father, but more of a Father to me than my actual biological one.

But yeah, the day my uncle died, I think I cried more in that day, than I had my entire life. As close as my Father and I were, my uncle and I were even closer, he was like a second Father to me. And, the one time I actually wanted people to talk to, friends, my online ones that I normally wouldn't talk to about such things, my internet had went down until I could pay it back up, and when I did, no one seemed to really want to talk to me.

Which left me feeling a bit empty on the inside. The words of my deceased grandmother, who I lived with for four years of what I like to call my 'impressionable years' of my life seem to haunt me even to this day. Part of me feels like she's been right all along. That's I'm nothing, a nobody, that I'll never do anything with my life, ect.

Then there's the other part, a bit smaller, that tells me that she's wrong. I've had a job, even though it drove me crazy at times, found a loving man who loves me for me, respects me and my view while also sharing it, of my view of not doing anything sexual until we've married. A subject I will get on here in a moment.

Work was hell during that time of anguish and hurt. They didn't care that someone I was close to had just recently died, the bastards even tried to get me to work the day/night of my uncle's funeral. I blatantly told them 'Fuck you.' and hung up the phone. It was then that I made plans, and told them that I wouldn't work after the year came to an end. Because, I knew, if I was going to go ahead with plans in my life, they would keep working me, making it impossible to have energy during the day to do what I needed, like making arrangements for my move to Virginia, and packing.

I wound up working Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Year's Eve. Yeah, thanks a bunch you bastards. Give me New Year's off when all the fun things happened the night before. But then again, with working Graveyard shifts, I never really had much of a 'day' off, because to me, I was going into work the evening of one day, and coming out of it the morning of the next.

Not to mention that they had me working EVERY single damn Holiday that year as well. Did I get the chance to have one more Halloween with my family, taking the younger ones out Trick or Treating, and the older ones to Haunted houses? Nope. At least I was allowed to wear a ctostume..That had to be in accordance with being 'safe' to work in.

I also worked Thanksgiving, which I would've loved to have off, and spend time with my family, as it was probably to be the last for the next few years. I have a large family, and we usually end up going to about two or three 'dinners' during the day. We had one for lunch, one in the evening, and in between, or after the two, maybe another with friends and neighbors.

This last year, I only got to go to one, and that was because I had to sleep through the Lunch Dinner, so I could be up in the evening, and spend a couple of hours at the Evening one, before I had to ask someone to run me home right quick, so I could lay down and get a few more hours of sleep for work. Fuck you bastards, I'll never work for you again. (On a small note, I worked as a Clerk for a Convenience store. And NO they do NOT have to shut down for Holidays if the owner didn't want to. It was a 24/7/365 store, we NEVER shut down, at all.)

After my final pay week was up, (I had stayed a couple days over my statement of quitting, because I wouldn't have gotten a full check.) I was out of there. I talked some things over with my fiance, who I was to be moving in with, and he didn't mind that I wanted to go visit a friend before I had moved.

So thus, I took a week long trip to Colorado, to visit my friend Darck. It was a fun and interesting week. It felt glorious after all the emotional stress I had been going through with work and my family. I barely got online during that time, with the few exceptions to check messages, and to chat with my fiance, who didn't hold it against me for not being online every morning to chat with him, because, as he put it. "You're on vacation Sexybutt. I don't expect you to do anything other than have fun." I think I fell in love with him even more after that.

I had a hell of a lot of fun in Colorado, no worries, no stress, just hanging out and having fun. Though, I did offer my help around the place a few times, because I felt silly for not doing anything chore like. I finally got to see snow like I wanted to all my life, though not as much as I would've liked. Hiking is fun, if you're prepared for it. Note to unexperianced hikers. Wear comfortable shoes (I though I had, I now know better), wear comfortable clothes, don't get over-heated. Trust me, even with snow around, you can get hot and sweaty fast. And bring at LEAST something to drink, don't over pace yourself, take as many breaks as you need (I know I had to take a lot of those). And have fun.

My week long vacation ended, and I, regretfully, had to go home. Where drama had been brewing while I was away. My cousin and my mom picked me up late in the evening from the station, where we stopped at a local Taco Bell, and got some dinner. Where I found out, my cousin and her fiance, were no more.

Four about six months or so, they've been battling getting their kids back, two adorable little boys named Bobby (3), and Connor (2). Anthony (The name of my cousin's fiance), was doing drugs, and on top of that, VERY possessive over my cousin.

Back before he was in the picture, my cousin and I, every weekend, would borrow my mom's car, and go to a local theater and watch a movie. Then he came into the picture, and he HAD to tag along with us on our Girl's Night Out. It was some of the only socialization I had gotten, other than school or work.

I knew the guy from High School, he annoyed the HADES out of me, I didn't like him, and to this day, I can barely stand him, and that's NOT including my more recent feelings regarding him. Apparently, while I was away, he got paranoid and pissed off when my cousin had asked for a temporary sepperation. He trapped her against her will, and tried to cut her wrist. Then he stabbed himself.

They're both alive an well, and I hate him for what he tried to do to my cousin, but, as bad as this is going to sound, I hate him the MOST, for getting into MY mother's face and yelling. NO ONE is allowed to do that except me. I NEVER allowed anyone to yell at my mother, NO ONE, not even my Father.

My brother's try to yell at mom? I kick their asses and take away what they value most, their gaming systems. My cousin's ex-fiance? I'm surprised he and his family didn't try to bring charges against me for aggrivated assault and/or a restraining order.

NO ONE messes with my family, despite how much they can annoy me or piss me off, they're the closest things I love and care for. Of which, on another note, my other uncle, the oldest of the three so far stated of the older men in my family, had also suffered a heart attack while I was in Colorado, he thankfully lived through it, and I worry constantly about him, Despite not being as close to him as I was to my Father or my other uncle.

On happier news, on March 27th, I will be departing for Virginia, to marry my fiance, and be his wife, after near three long years apart. He has been the ONLY person, other than my cousin, to understand me fully, though a few great friends come pretty damn close.

So, to all of you who've read this, can you give me some advice? I'm trying to figure out the easiest and cheapest way to ship my things to Virginia. I've been told UPS, FedEX, the mail, and even Greyhound, of which I will be going via Greyhound buss' to Virginia. But I want to find the best possible way to ship my things, and hopefully not cost too much, as I do have a limited budget.

Thanks to all who stuck with this and read. I hope you guys have a happy day/night.