So it has come to my attention that people think I'm dead, mostly by suicide. I'm here to tell you that is very much NOT the case. I want everyone to know I'm okay. And also to not jump to conclusions, I already look bad enough, I don't need to be looking like I up and ended myself at the end of all this. And while I've tried to change to see if I can become a better person for people, I've yet to be able to. That's why I don't plan on coming back to 'this.' While I am so grateful for everything that people have done, I have seem to have taken everything for granted.

I've had amazing friends, gifts, laughs, and in my lowest point I decided to throw it all away. Despite all this, I think I don't want to take back my decisions. I wouldn't've learned about everything I lost until it inevitably came and smacked my face. But I'm still grateful; I'm glad I can now enjoy every little moment. It doesn't matter what my past was like with depression. Sometimes, my worries don't matter. Of course, that doesn't stop my mind from drifting to all my problems, but it's okay. At least now I can accept that, sometimes I need to focus on the now than the then or next.

Aside from that, I've gone and rebranded once again. Now that's a lesson I haven't learned yet--Stop changing personas. But I think, for once, this is for the better. I can see from a different point of view, what all my characters have brought, with them not being in my possession anymore. Do I regret it? Yes. Do I want them back? No. I've always wanted to run away from it all, and always wanted to change. That stigma will always be with me. But seeing others give my creations life, hearing that others are happy puts me at ease. My own work has made people happy--And that's all I really want in the end. It's to make people happy.

As to the title of the journal, as I said, I've rebranded again. I'm probably still going to remain incognito, seeing as I've learned that I can't strike a balance of my social life. I want to talk with people, yes, but I either feel too awkward or too overwhelmed, which the former leads to not talking, and the latter leads to breakdown. I think just little one-on-ones are good for now. If you REALLY wanted to talk, I'm not going to stop you, and I'm sure B.Net or here won't either. The only thing I'll stop is going into 'public chatrooms,' which includes even little chats that have 4+ people. As much as I can, anyways. But I've shown you the truth, so if my dumb breakdowns can't stop you, then it's your funeral.

As to what I'm doing, I'm still working on bettering myself. I'm back at square one, and that's okay, because things are going to be like this sometimes. But I've at least got this year somewhat planned out, and hope to be back to job searching by the end of the year, depending on Covid. Anyways, I'm sorry for everything I've done. I know that isn't much compared to what all I do, but that doesn't mean I still can't try. I hope everyone is okay--No, more than okay. I hope everyone is happy. Enjoy your time.