Preface: to all my watchers who are about to read this travesty,

I AM SO SORRY.

These types of stories are the type i point and laugh at when i peruse fanfiction.net.

I didn't even try... that hard.. to make this much more than word vomit of a story that litterally wouldn't let me rest untill i wrote it down. There's more to it than this but i hope the sheer amount of judgement I get for posting this will be enough of a deterrant to posting more chapters. But then again knowing you, you'll probably want this hilarity to continue.

Please note this is my personal twilight and I hope if anything it makes you laugh at how horrible it is.

ON TO THE TRAVESTY! My ill-fated transformers/mlp crossover fanfiction/ shameless self insertion.

Chapter 1.

Airbrush woke up on a beach, her body sore from battling the hurricane but she was at least happy to be alive. Her celebration was short lived however as she was scooped up from the sand by a large metallic hand.

She screamed and darted out of the grip with her wings, only to have the quick metal hand grab her roughly it its clutches slamming her… somewhere within it's chest.

From a clear portion of her make-shift prison Airbrush could see the outside, she pressed her nose up against what she could only assume was glass to get her bearings. In the distance there were tall gleaming pillars of metal, nothing like what she was used to back in equestria.

Before she could investigate further whatever she was inside started moving, flinging her against the back of the enclosure, knocking her out again.


Starscream laughed raucously as he secured his chest plate back into place. "What are you so cheerful about, Starscream?" Scowled Knockout, "I hope you've found some Energon out here."

Starscream sneered. "That is LORD Starscream to you… medic… and I have found a human! I shall be taking it back to base to analyze it. Perhaps THIS one could work for us!"

Knockout's brows raised curiously. "A human? Let me see!… er… Lord Starscream…" he added, when he saw Starscream scowl.

At Knockout's behest Starscream carefully opened his chest panel and pulled out the unconscious Airbrush. "Oh dear… it's not moving."

"Are you certain that's a human?" Knockout mused. "it looks awfully strange."

"well what else could it be?"

"I don't know but I think your human is defective" Knockout gave Airbrush a cautionary poke and she groaned, moving slightly. "Well at least it's still alive."

"M…maybe its an advanced model.. it tried to fly away when I grabbed it before!"

"Perhaps… I haven't known humans to fly on their own power… lets get it back to base before it wakes up.


>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<

The Decepticon base was it's usual state of semi-disorganization. Starscream paid the small issues around him no mind, he was too eager to play with his newly acquired toy. Knockout too was curious to see and study Starscream's human.

It was almost humorous what Starscream had set up for his new test subject. A few scraps of cloth for a bed ( which on closer inspection seemed to be a pile of stolen clothing) and a little gear on which he had set a bruised head of cabbage. The small array was covered in a glass dome to allow for the best observation.

Starscream opened his chest plate again and removed Airbrush from the compartment, lifting the dome and placing her on the pile of cloth. It wasn't long before she finally stirred rubbing her head and attempting to flex her wings. A sharp pain bolting through her left side.

AUUGH...ow what the... what happened....? EEK!"

"do not worry human, i am Lord Starscream, your safe with me.. so long as your friends do as I ask." Starscream grinned touching his chest plate with a minor bow.

"lord... star... OW my wing... the hell did you do!"

"oh have i damaged you?"

"YES YOU'VE DAMAGED ME YOU OVERGROWN TINCAN... where the hell am i? this isn't equestria."

"equest-what now?"

Airbrush sighed ".... definately not equestria.... wait... what did you call me?"

Starscream paused. "a... human?... you are a human aren't you?"

"the buck is a human... im a pony, a pegasus actually."

".... computer... database pegasus...."

"PEgasus... a mytical horse with wings, they are fictional and do not exist."

"..... like Buck i don't exist..."

"Good work Starscream you managed to kidnap a creature that doesn't exist." Knockout grinned, ducking a punch that Starscream flung at his head.

"Well obviously it exists or we wouldn't be looking at it." Starscream growled.

"Hey! I don't mean to interrupt, but I'm not an it I'm a She… if your going to talk about me like i'm not here at least get my gender right."

Starscream and Knockout both turned to look at the little pony.

"Ahem, a thousand pardons hu…er…. Pegasus… " Starscream knelt over the glass dome. "Pray tell do you have a name?"

"I do… it's Airbrush."

"And do you have any friends, Airbrush?"

"Yes… but they're back home… I don't even know where I am… "

"And Back home is…Eque….something?"

"Equestria… yes… I don't even know how I got here… I was in a hurricane and the next thing I knew I was waking up to you… what are you guys anyway?"

At this Knockout piped up. "My lady we are deceptions! a… political faction of transforming robots."

"Robots… okay…I'm dreaming… I have to be dreaming… I just have to fly away and I'll wake up… just flyyyy OW"

"While I am not an expert on organic dreaming processes. I would assume that were this a dream you'd be unable to feel pain, correct?" Knockout too now was peering over the glass dome.

"While I hate to admit it, Knockout does have a point, I'm afraid you aren't dreaming Airbrush."

Airbrush sighed looking up through the glass dome, the Decpticon base had no windows, no view of the sky. "I wan't to go home… " She tucked her wings against her body, her left hanging there awkwardly.

"Knockout… don't you have some… repairs to take care of on our dearly incapacitated Megatron?"

"Nothing that can't wait."

"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear… I'd like to be left alone…"

"Oh… of… of course Starscream."

"AHEM"

"Sorry… LORD starscream."

The door closed to Starscream's satisfaction. With a wry grin he returned all his focus to the pony under glass.

"while you aren't the human I was hoping for… perhaps theres still a good amount I can learn from a mythical creature such as yourself."