here's some irrelevant info about the day that i wrote this and the events thereof:
she didn't take me seriously
i was numb to all her words and slowly crawled into my darkness
i avoided her
i made a list of "things that could be the death of me" - which include me, me, me, alcohol, more alcohol, me, or a random shooting
i tried to cry
i went home and kept myself in my darkness
and now back to right now. why the fuck am i telling you this none of you fucks is my counselor. and quite nearly all of you fucks won't even read this.