TYCHO
God damn it, Gabe! What did I tell you about accepting games left on the doorstep with an explicit warning to not play it? Now, you’ve unleashed a Lovecraftian horror leaving threatening messages in the blood of tortured souls!

GABE
And the Dante’s Inferno guys said I’d be going to Hell for smashing a Rickrolling box. Look, we gotta do something about this!

TYCHO
Alright, alright, we’ve dealt with monstrosities before. Let’s just get all of our best weapons together and just get it before it gets us. It may be fast, but we’re resourceful.

GABE
Yeah, but we should have an asskicking one-liner to go with our attack.

TYCHO
Your priorities are a bit skewed.

GABE
No, just hear me out. We’ll charge in and I’ll yell, “Smile, you Son…ic of a-”

TYCHO
You’re going to mangle that classic Jaws quote in the midst of battle?

GABE
Yeah, well, it’s got teeth and it killed a kid and-look, let’s just kill this damn thing already!


John “Gabe” Gabriel and Tycho Brahe © Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik
Sonic the Hedgehog © SEGA
Sonic.Exe © Whoever