Intellectual Eggs by Kiamakrai -- Fur Affinity [dot] net

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Intellectual Eggs

By Kiamakrai,
posted 18 years ago Figuring it out

A little poem for the writing group i'm starting on SL. Came up with a cute idea with Myrth, and fleshed it out. Short, but sweet.

226
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1
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7
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Category Poetry / All

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Size 120 x 120px

File Size 342 B

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u_kiamakrai c_poetry t_all s_unspecified_any

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CFauxie ~cfauxie

Writer

18 years ago

I like everything but the last line >.> It has some sort of word choice error that just simply doesnt flow. The concept was nice, something we don't always see in the constant flow of emo poetry through FA. Props

Kiamakrai ~kiamakrai

Figuring it out

18 years ago

Funny you should mention it, i dont like that last line much either. But thats what i get for ten minutes of work ;D Maybe ill change it due to your recommendation.

And thank you for commenting ^.-.^

CFauxie ~cfauxie

Writer

18 years ago

Just don't change the theme! >.> I understand where you are trying to go with it, but the only problem was the coup de grace. ;3 Write maor.

Kiamakrai ~kiamakrai

Figuring it out

18 years ago

Hehe, i didnt change it much, just the wording of the last line. It *might* flow better now, let me know what you think :}

Moar huh? I'll see what i can do, it always helps when i'm surrounded by good writers. So keep it up too!

vixyyfox ~vixyyfox

Writer

18 years ago

That is so very cute..... definately dragon...

V.

neopatamonx ~neopatamonx

17 years ago

Some of those eggs are incredibly hard to lay >.o

Kiamakrai ~kiamakrai

Figuring it out

17 years ago

Indeed,

but they bring me joy, so it is worth the labor. ^.--.^

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