AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA I literally almost fell off the couch laughing at this!!!

Laughing so hard right now...

Why can he still only say his name to address things and not, you know. Telekinesis? :I

Yeah, I don't know. But the pokemon-saying-their-names thing NEVER made sense to start with.

Furthermore, it confuses me how they can understand each other. :I

It makes a lot of sense, actually. Naturalists would name the Pokémon based on the only word they could say.

Except for Charzard, who is all like RAWWWWWWR

It makes sense that they'd name the pokemon after their vocalizations, like chickadees and whippoorwills, but it doesn't make sense that the pokemon would vocalize through what is obviously a single english (or japanese) word. That's kind of an invention of the show, though, and I suspect it's merely a branding ploy to firmly lodge all the names of the pokemon into children's brains. In the games each pokemon has a call that actually sound like an animal noise. Sort of. Like a computerized version of an animal noise.

I really do miss the animal noises. They had so much charm!

It's a very important part of the one hit wonder 'Married to Reshiram'. If not for the pokemon calls, with whom would Justin sing 'loooove looove loooove'? Nobody :(

Oh god I'm dyin'.

This is fantastic

This is why Alakazam is one of my alltime favorite pokemon. They're so smart and yet they take orders from 10-year-olds XP

Meanwhile pokemon-world science fiction authors are writing social-satire stories about dystopian futures where alakazam train humans to fight.

I always assumed it was because they were bored to death and were looking for something to amuse themselves with P:

Lol! Awesome

Dude...don't piss him off...he can bend spoons @A@.

Their cute when they're Abras.

His face. XD

Welp.

I think my favorite ridiculous pokedex entry is the one for Kingler. Apparently it has 10.000 horsepower in its claw. Which doesn't make any god damn sense, you don't measure pressure with horsepower. So, me and my b/f decided to look up things that had 10,000 horsepower just to kind of...make our own ppi assumption. The only vehicle we found anywhere close to that was a bullet train at 5000 horse power. The only thing we found around 10,000 horse power was a ROCKET CAR.

Another was for Machamp which can 'throw 1000 punches in 2 seconds." we calculated that the speed at which it would need to do this would cause two sonic booms per punch (one to punch out, one to pull back in), meaning something like 2000 sonic booms. Forget being punched to death, the sound would probably fuck your brain over before it got done with the 1000 punches. Dem pokedex entries, man.

kingler. It has the power of a rocket car in its claw.

A thousand punches in two seconds sounds like folklore. Oh you Japanese and your arbitrary large numbers to imply great ability.

I also like magmar who's like.... hotter than the surface of the sun or something? I forget what it was exactly, but something ludicrous.

If a magmar actually was that hot, it'd be dangerous to stand within hundreds of feet of it. If you found it in the desert, it would be standing in a crater of molten glass.

Man, Pokemon's so much fun, but... LOGIC!

Maybe the Pokedex is attuned to the mentality of its users, and since it's being carried around by 10-year-olds it writes the entries like what a 10-year-old would make up. "Oh YEAH?! Well my Magmar is hotter than the surface of the sun! And my Kingler has like a billion horsepower in its claw or something!"

that's my thoughts on the matter too. I do remember back when pokemon red/blue was the hot new game in the US and bragging about how Dragonite could fly around the earth in a span of 16 hours due to its great speed (how the hell can anything fly with derpy tiny wings like that in the first place)

Proff. Oak shouldn't have handed out his revolutionary new tool to ten year old kids. :I

This makes a lot of sense!

The ridiculous one that I remember from way back in the day is Diglett, and how it can supposedly pop in and out of the ground at the speed of light. That totally sounds like some claim a braggart kid would make, haha.

Oh YEAH!?! Well my pokemon can pop in and out of the ground AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!!!

Yeah, that *totally* sounds like schoolyard boasting.

Maybe you're onto something. 10,000 hp in a claw is modern-day folklore?

What, no "it's over 9000" comments? REALLY?

You're thinking of Magcargo, with its body temperature of 18,000 degrees Fahrenheit, which is nearly twice that of the surface of the Sun*.
Magmortar (Magmar's evolution) can shoot fireballs of 3,600 F, though, which is hot enough to melt Titanium*. Still kinda crazy, but at least it's only nuking things when it actually attacks, instead of vaporizing anything within 50 miles** just by existing.

(*According to Wikipedia; may or may not be correct, but it's probably a safe bet)
(**I am not an expert on thermodynamics so the range of effect is most likely NOT scientifically accurate. Not that anything in Pokemon actually is, of course, or I wouldn't be sitting here discussin' it with ya, now would I?)

I'd like to think that Kinglers are physics-defying, giant, mutant mantis shrimp, given that the punch of the mantis shrimp is the single fastest movement of any living creature on the planet and have the same force as a small caliber bullet. :I

perhaps that was in mind when they designed/wrote about Kingler. That particular entry about the 10k horsepower was from the diamond/pearl era, the ones before that said it was powerful but not something silly like that XD

Damn funny.

"There is no spoon."

That glorious mustache.

Love the faces XD

You should do another one with Gary bent into a pretzel.

I... can't... breathe... XDDDDD THIS IS GOLD!!! XDDD

The lid's round.... the container's round.... ....Why don't they call it 'Roundtine'? IT'S GOLD, JERRY! IT'S GOLD!!!!!!!

The last two panels killed me XD

Maybe Team Plasma was on to something. XD

LMFAO!

Rofllll

Simply... HILARIOUS XD

lol

I think they meant IQ as brain power rather than Smarts but didn't have word for it or something

lost in translation, perhaps?

Perhaps

Lol so much power

The last panel was a great touch.
Awesome point about the game.

Lol FAVE.

For such a high Q.I, he was pretty much owned hard now. XDDD

It's what Gary/Blue is good at.

But bending spoons is a very important job.

http://rainbow-mouse.net/misc/eatpussy.jpg

The things you can do in these games :V

I've always loved Pokedex entries. If any of them were true 90% of the Pokemon cast would be grossly overpowered. Such as a Rapidash running 150 mph or this thing for Kingdra...
Gold: It is said that it usually hides in underwater caves. It can create whirlpools by yawning.
Silver: It sleeps deep on the ocean floor to build its energy. It is said to cause tornadoes as it wakes.
Damn I love Pokedex entries.

...And now that spoon if your NECK!

lulz

Unparalleled intelligence... But can't learn more than four moves....