Wishes are beautiful flowing creatures of wonder, excitement, and mystery. Though they flow just out of reach or play as imaginary creatures on our field of dreams, they are not out of reach. Shall we prance together in the skys of our hopes or fall below the dark horizon of despair........ I have the tools... if you can afford the price that comes with them...

What? I did an art thing? Whats this???? o-o

So..... that 'drive' thing that I was trying to harness sometime.. i dunno.. the past few years just isn't something you can force out of yourself, I found out. Turns out... maybe if I just take things one step at a time, I will do so much better.

I have been hurt about my work, beating myself up over the fact that it doesn't look the way I think it should... but maybe that's a good thing. From self pity and hate grows things that are horrible and angry. They drag you down and eat at your very happiness... and I have just about had it. It has affected me physically too. I have felt drained of my color and personality, leaving me feeling almost sickly. But enough is enough and so.... just fuck it. I am going to just roll with it, play with what comes from my head and just try something different. I look back at my work from only 3 years ago or even 2 and I actually see improvement. That is what I should be looking at, not what I want it to be just yet. I won't compare myself anymore and I will not hold myself back. Doing those things really created a rift within myself.
That rift isn't gone either. I cannot say when I will stop fighting over things, but it is a goal. From all this, I have changed. From emotional outburst and turmoil to having the best family ((adopted included)) in the world, I think I may actually get somewhere... just not the way I intended.

With all of this in mind..... I have got some physical changes in mind for myself. And here I thought I just got done with my ref sheet. Hahaha. My colors have gone lighter, things will be changed, and I am now accepting that I am the glass type pokeman and start shredding things! }:3 Mind you there are pics to come with that.

I also owe several people a few art pieces. That being said though, please don't be mad that I haven't gotten to them. In fact, this gives you a chance to think more about what you want from me and what you want for yourself. I am happy that I have so many wonderful people that do like my art regardless if I have or not and I want to be able to continue to improve and gain confidence in myself. You guys help me do that.... Lots! I cannot guarantee if things will be fast though. To those of you who do want something, let me know. I will get to them as I can but take it one at a time.

Oh btw... Like the texture usage? As my lovely sister  rowynn suggested I do, I will continue with my texture theme that I used on my senior project from college. Textures give beauty and depth :3 and they are fun.

Well anyways, thanks for looking and what not. I love feedback.

And this time... I will try to stay back!

Art and character Evanier copyright of  hifox Hifox aka Evanier aka Kayla 2013
Please do not steal or use this image under any condition. Thanks :3