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Genesis Related.

I'm not one to keep secrets, at least not from those to whom those secrets would matter. After all, if the secret you hold has nothing to do with someone, then it's not really anything they need to be worrying about now is it? Answering questions is about the same for me. Unless the person asks the right question I don't really see a need to provide any information past what they asked for. But that's why I like the scientific community. They manage to ask all the right questions when dealing with the scientific, but when it comes to the more personal stuff they tend to lack the attention to detail they normally have. One such question they do this with is when they ask me if I have emotions.

To most in the world of science (or more accurately confined to the scientists of Division) I'm well known and documented as being a sort of oddity. I’m a failed prototype experiment that’s had more success in my failure than I would ever have had as a success originally. So to them it's no secret that I'm not exactly a carbon based life form, hence their questions on how much like a real being I really am. Questions range from whether or not I feel pain like they do all the way down to whether or not I can truly grasp what it means to be alive. But it's the question of my emotions that they always seem to mess up.

Do you have emotions?

Truth is I do, or at least I used to. I don't exactly feel emotions the same way anymore since the great revelation that I was never meant to live past the age of 29. Certainly I was angry when I got over the shock. I was completely willing to tear the planet apart if I could have managed such a feat. But reasoning and logic turned out to be the better course to follow. Anger would do nothing but lead me down a path of violence and destruction the likes of which I don't really think I could fathom. Of course I don't tell them this. They never asked if I used to have emotions like everyone else, or if they changed when I embraced the fact I was created in a lab. Nor did they ask me if my emotions were the same as everyone else’s. Do I have emotions? Yes. Can I feel them? Not really anymore. It takes something important to inspire an emotion in me. The discovery of a new element will inspire emotion in me, a failed experiment will too. Otherwise I simply think too logically now to be bothered with emotions.

Finding out about this would now make you question how someone might ask me these things if I don't have them. Surely it would be something noticeable that could be picked up on and flagged as a danger sign.

Normally it would be noticeable. But let’s just say I've gotten very good at faking it. So good in fact that it's become second nature. I can even go to the bar and laugh at the jokes people tell me, or be upset that my team is losing the big game as if nothing had changed from before the incident. However, mundane things like that are not really worth my time. It's not that I don't enjoy spending time with people; it's that I always feel my time could be better spent towards a goal. I would much rather be working on a project than sitting around drinking booze that won't even get me buzzed. Never has before, so I see no reason for it to now.

Ah, but the things that do inspire emotions in me. When they happen it's always a treat. It's usually when I meet very interesting people like this rabbit here...

Actually, I don't think I'll tell this to the mental audience I have been talking to thus far. I think you would all rather be surprised to see what might come of this meeting, provided anything happens at all. Time will only tell when it wants to, and I will only tell you if I want to. After all, you're just a bunch of little voices in my head that I made up to entertain my thoughts.


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Genesis copyrighted to me.