*holds up a fireball to the guard* "Or you can let me in before i set you on fire"

Sorry, that NPC is marked No-Combat.

-or-

Very well. And do you have enough fireballs for all the other guards? And the soldiers. And the court magus. And whoever else is called out to deal with the insane murderous sorcerer on the loose? ^.^

Yes! <3 And then some. :D

*laughs*

They just need to see me play Nethack to know that insane murderous sorcerer on the loose hardly begins to describe Kyt on bad days. <3

Why the hell are all guards so pissy? I've got a DM right now who makes every guard in every one of his games a total dick, and then makes them like, level 30 on top of that, despite it being utterly retarded. "Hey, go fight this thing that I could kill in one hit because it's 'endangering the kingdom'! Then I might stop being a dick for ten seconds to let you do what you need to do, which is probably helpful to the kingdom anyway."

Have you ever played .... pretty much any RPG? :) That's the way it works.

Guard: Go forth and deliver my glasses somewhere!!

Me: But.. you can teleport. And have armor made of the ballsacs of dragons. You're infinitely powerful. Why don't you do it yourself, my armor is made out of tissue paper!

Guard: DO ITT!!!!!!!!

Me: Uh. KK!

I'd suggest throwing some social rolls at them, but the GM strikes me as the sort to ignore those too. So sorry.

Yeah he does. It's ok, I just piss him off by making a character who can deal a thousand damage in a single attack. Then I tell him "If you don't like it, stop doing stupid shit, or go fuck yourself." Then he turns red, gets angry, realizes I'm a foot taller than him and have enough repressed anger at him to break every bone in his body, and everything resets to its original starting point. Not 'good' perse, but better than bad.

I love this pic.

"...dragon in the herb garden." He's eaten all the bay leaves, the cook's threatening to quit over it, and no-one can get in to water the parsley.

Also, he piddles in the pumpkin patch.

Exactly! He's three feet long and he's grumpy because of a sour tummy from eating all the sage. The Catiph's daughter has named him Theadore and wants to keep him as a pet. Hop to, now!

XDD but weak pissy people are what makes the world fun

And you can't kill them in real life either. More's the pity.

true but they are fun to piss off >XD