Goblins - A common sight in many of the world's major cities these days, Goblins exist in greater numbers now than ever before. While many may think of them as a pest, these little green fellers in fact can serve all number of handy everyday uses! Welcome to 101 Uses for Goblins! We'll show you ways to put all those annoying Goblins to work for YOU in quick, easy steps!

#1 - Goblinium Energy Cell
Needs:
- 1 Goblin
- 1 Empty Energy Cell Housing (size as appropriate to your need)
- 1 Full Dose Genetic Destabilizer

It's a well known fact that Goblins have a massive amount of latent energy. While big power companies might power your city by a massive Goblinium reactor, you can make your own batteries with little more than any goblin you find wandering around, and a few supplies you can find at any goblinworking hobby store.

Fig 1.1 - Here we have acquired our goblin, and already administered a full dose of gene destabilizer to him - Using anything less will not agitate the goblin's genetics enough to allow the reaction to take place. Wait 2 minutes, then, use the technique shown - a gentle squeeze to his left flank while rubbing the small of his back with your thumb for a few seconds. If the goblin starts to complain his belly feels strange, you know it's working.

Fig 1.2 - In under a minute, the goblin should begin to swell rapidly, and glow a most vibrant blue from inside his swelling tummy as the reaction properly begins. At this point you should prepare your energy cell housing - But don't let the little guy run away before he loses his mobility!

Fig 1.3 - As the reaction proceeds, the goblin's limbs will balloon along with his stomach. This image is from about 5 minutes in. The glowing has permeated the goblin and his skin has turned a distinctive electric blue. You should notice a glowing from inside his eyes and mouth at this point, along with the beginnings of an electric crackling and popping across his skin. Any body hair he may have will quickly be singed away by the electricity he's beginning to produce.

Fig 1.4 - By 10 minutes, your goblin should look something like this. He will have lost all of his defining features by this point, and the glowing should be quite bright now. When electricity properly arcs across his skin, you know that he's ready. Quickly squeeze him into your energy cell housing. Be careful not to be too slow on this step, or he might overload and explode, damaging nearby furniture, and wasting the gene destabilizer, so be swift!

Fig 1.5 - Finally, we have our completed energy cell. The housing should keep it's energy regulated and prevent overload. With measured usage, most cells can last for up to 8 years before losing their charge - at which point the housing can be reused. As for the goblin, his physiology will be permanently changed. Allow him about a month to recharge, keep him away from water, and make sure he wears clothing that builds up a lot of static at all times. With proper care, a goblinium energy cell can be used for a long, long time, even be passed down the family and will actually increase in overall output over the years. I have a cell I made with my parents for a science project in elementary school - I kept him all through college, and even now he powers my family's whole home, nearly fifty years later!