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Two Sticks of Butter 2: Part 2 (The Second One)
This is an improved version of this track that was uploaded in dedication to the birthday of 
a few months back. What you see above is the working title that I thought was so hilarious I had to use it for the submission title. I know my humor's awful, but that's not the point. >..>
This version has a better mix, still not perfect, but closer to what the song will eventually sound like. That's right folks, we've decided to turn this into a song, because I found some vocal melodies that would go great with it and the guys think it would be great to have a ballad (or possibly two) mixed in with our regular material. As with before, this is pretty much a run-through, and not final product. Input is always welcome. Cheers!
a few months back. What you see above is the working title that I thought was so hilarious I had to use it for the submission title. I know my humor's awful, but that's not the point. >..>This version has a better mix, still not perfect, but closer to what the song will eventually sound like. That's right folks, we've decided to turn this into a song, because I found some vocal melodies that would go great with it and the guys think it would be great to have a ballad (or possibly two) mixed in with our regular material. As with before, this is pretty much a run-through, and not final product. Input is always welcome. Cheers!
Category Music / Rock
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 83 x 120px
File Size 3.7 MB
It sounds much more clean... the "clean e-guitar", I mean! ^_^ The main riff at the beginning plays very nicely and the "atmospheric effect" gives it quite a warm touch... it's some kind of "sea shore", eh?
Unfortunately, the riff sounds quite a bit "Doom-ish" once again. Okay, this is what you guys love doing and the whole track could be a very nice "level ambient song" again. But I urge you to try some variations in the themes and cues. ;)
But what is really well done this time?
+) Recording
Much more clean and smooth!
+) Structure (!!!)
The changes between the guitar riff and the rhythm played by drums and distortion works really, REALLY well this time! I can hear a great pattern here... the song has more structure than your other works. I can hear that you've tried to differ between the softer cues and the harder cues. And both patterns - hard and soft - work hand in hand! THIS IS GREAT!
This should be your goal for the next time:
-) Theme variations
So far, your themes are very simple in structure and composition... but that's okay. What did I say? One thing after the other. STEP BY STEP! :D
Today, you've shown progress in the COMPLEX SONG STRUCTURE... next time, you guys work more on the DIFFERENTIAL STRUCTURE of the THEMES - adding variations in the themes and cues itself!
Keep it up!
^^
Unfortunately, the riff sounds quite a bit "Doom-ish" once again. Okay, this is what you guys love doing and the whole track could be a very nice "level ambient song" again. But I urge you to try some variations in the themes and cues. ;)
But what is really well done this time?
+) Recording
Much more clean and smooth!
+) Structure (!!!)
The changes between the guitar riff and the rhythm played by drums and distortion works really, REALLY well this time! I can hear a great pattern here... the song has more structure than your other works. I can hear that you've tried to differ between the softer cues and the harder cues. And both patterns - hard and soft - work hand in hand! THIS IS GREAT!
This should be your goal for the next time:
-) Theme variations
So far, your themes are very simple in structure and composition... but that's okay. What did I say? One thing after the other. STEP BY STEP! :D
Today, you've shown progress in the COMPLEX SONG STRUCTURE... next time, you guys work more on the DIFFERENTIAL STRUCTURE of the THEMES - adding variations in the themes and cues itself!
Keep it up!
^^
Your critique is far above and beyond anything anybody ever posts about my music, and is really appreciated. Nobody ever goes as far as you do to actually break down and analyze our stuff for us. That's kinda why I now love sending you tracks when I upload them, because of how helpful and thorough you are. We do take what you say very seriously, and the rest of the band really appreciates any constructive input you give us. Thanks a lot man!!! You're awesome!!
I really really like the intro. Quite a lot actually. The distortion on the guitar after the intro is a bit much for my tastes, but definitely gives it a unique sound. And in fact the more I think about it the better it fits with the song to give more variation to the melody. The melody is pretty sweet, by the way... This is very well made and an improvement on the stuff you've showed me before... Color me impressed.
I feel if I had one thing I would suggest about it, it would be to extend the song a bit. I feel it could do with another bridge, a 2nd chorus, or heck even a slow solo.
I feel if I had one thing I would suggest about it, it would be to extend the song a bit. I feel it could do with another bridge, a 2nd chorus, or heck even a slow solo.
The version with vocals might have the snare roll section repeated, which should allow for a bit more room to make this into a proper ballad (ish) sort of song. I'm glad you really liked it. Honestly, I only keep sending these tracks to you because you seem to genuinely like what I'm doing. I know you're a crazy busy guy, so I appreciate you taking a bit of time out of your day to help weigh in on these. The band really appreciates the input. Cheers!
I would most certainly listen to this were it on an album; I really, really like the opening - the clean, throttled feeling, holding back and waiting to just explode. I would love to hear the more prominent sections gain even more energy with each pass, perhaps a building pattern; but at the end of the day, the riff and beat are solid and they work which is important. Damn, you guys are getting very good indeed! Excellent work and rock on \m/
Thanks. There is more than one ballad in the works, but this is the closest to being done. Was originally an instrumental I dedicated to somebody's birthday, because music is all I got by the way of "gift art" if you even want to all it that, but the guys and I decided it could be pulled out into a song, which is even better.
I gotta admit that this did a good job of projecting a sort of imagery in my mind. XP
"During the quiet intro, two sticks of butter are laying on the kitchen counter top in their individual wax paper wrappers. They seem to be enjoying the lazy heat that isn't quite warm enough to make them too soft. They are joined by other soon-to-be ingredients for cooking. It is, however, unbeknownst to them that they will all have their fleshes cut, torn into, and ripped apart in an organized fashion; it is all their first time out in this wonderous, awe-striking environment. They all--the butter and future ingredients--sit where they are placed, and imagine what amazingness may await them. But it is, of course, just from what the butter can gather from their counter-mates, as that is exactly how they feel.
As the music picks up in intensity a human enters the kitchen. Neither the butter, nor the ingredients can distinguish between male and female humans; humankind is so strange in their perception. The human, as if possessed by a whirlwind of thought and inspiration, pulls open cooking cabinets of pots, pans, utensils, and spices; each set in order and place as the human deems appropriate. One kind of utensil first catches all of their eyes: the knife. The shining, malicious, starving point glinting in the direction of veggies both in wonderment and subdued terror. The butters shook in their sleeves as they remembered the night before. That same metallic silver, that same reflective shine, that same sinister silhouette they both caught a glance of from their product package after the first two butters were pulled away from their familial quarters, and the assortment of agonized, terrified shrieks and wails and pleas for mercy that soon followed.
It was just the same that night as it is this night. The music picks up into a well-organized frenzy as the intensity surge once again. Those horrified and pain-filled roars filled the ears of both sticks of butter again that night, each carved vegetable tossed into a pan primed over a lit stove, those seductive flames caressing the pan's underside like a lover welcoming their significant other home once again. Soon fingers--those big, uncaring human fingers--tore roughly at one of the butter sticks' wax paper wrappers. Tears dripped from the first, and soon the second stick of butter as they were tossed, one after the other, into that very pan; scorching and unforgiving to any who intruded upon their heated passion.
The last thing either butter saw in their last moments of melting agony, amidst the dead and cut up carcasses of vegetables and burial dust of seasonings, was that human's face: smiling, pleased, and openly tantilized by the very smells coming from all of their individual bodies combined in hell itself."
O.O Um, so... Sorry about the dark imagery, but I figured I'd just write out what came up in my mind while listening to this. ^^; I really liked this piece, though I do have to agree with
ReptileCynrik about those certain bits that could be worked on. I hope your band ends up doing some fantastic things! You should upload more music stuff! :D
"During the quiet intro, two sticks of butter are laying on the kitchen counter top in their individual wax paper wrappers. They seem to be enjoying the lazy heat that isn't quite warm enough to make them too soft. They are joined by other soon-to-be ingredients for cooking. It is, however, unbeknownst to them that they will all have their fleshes cut, torn into, and ripped apart in an organized fashion; it is all their first time out in this wonderous, awe-striking environment. They all--the butter and future ingredients--sit where they are placed, and imagine what amazingness may await them. But it is, of course, just from what the butter can gather from their counter-mates, as that is exactly how they feel.
As the music picks up in intensity a human enters the kitchen. Neither the butter, nor the ingredients can distinguish between male and female humans; humankind is so strange in their perception. The human, as if possessed by a whirlwind of thought and inspiration, pulls open cooking cabinets of pots, pans, utensils, and spices; each set in order and place as the human deems appropriate. One kind of utensil first catches all of their eyes: the knife. The shining, malicious, starving point glinting in the direction of veggies both in wonderment and subdued terror. The butters shook in their sleeves as they remembered the night before. That same metallic silver, that same reflective shine, that same sinister silhouette they both caught a glance of from their product package after the first two butters were pulled away from their familial quarters, and the assortment of agonized, terrified shrieks and wails and pleas for mercy that soon followed.
It was just the same that night as it is this night. The music picks up into a well-organized frenzy as the intensity surge once again. Those horrified and pain-filled roars filled the ears of both sticks of butter again that night, each carved vegetable tossed into a pan primed over a lit stove, those seductive flames caressing the pan's underside like a lover welcoming their significant other home once again. Soon fingers--those big, uncaring human fingers--tore roughly at one of the butter sticks' wax paper wrappers. Tears dripped from the first, and soon the second stick of butter as they were tossed, one after the other, into that very pan; scorching and unforgiving to any who intruded upon their heated passion.
The last thing either butter saw in their last moments of melting agony, amidst the dead and cut up carcasses of vegetables and burial dust of seasonings, was that human's face: smiling, pleased, and openly tantilized by the very smells coming from all of their individual bodies combined in hell itself."
O.O Um, so... Sorry about the dark imagery, but I figured I'd just write out what came up in my mind while listening to this. ^^; I really liked this piece, though I do have to agree with
ReptileCynrik about those certain bits that could be worked on. I hope your band ends up doing some fantastic things! You should upload more music stuff! :D
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