
You know. . .
Category Poetry / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 443 B
I like this piece, although I found the phrasing and rhythm a little difficult to follow at first. As a fellow poet, I would like to offer a little suggestion for a simple edit you can do to make it easier to read.
Essentially, you might want to move your question marks, because you're actually asking compound questions. So, instead of:
So why do you like me?
Me who have betrayed your trust
I would suggest changing the phrasing to:
So why do you like me -
me who have betrayed your trust?
It's easier to read and flows a bit better when written that way. JMO and all of that.
Essentially, you might want to move your question marks, because you're actually asking compound questions. So, instead of:
So why do you like me?
Me who have betrayed your trust
I would suggest changing the phrasing to:
So why do you like me -
me who have betrayed your trust?
It's easier to read and flows a bit better when written that way. JMO and all of that.
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