hmm, Pretty good. I felt the intro was a bit long or repetitive though. If you had a beat or something going alongside with the hats for the intro it would of given it a bit more flow. You got a pretty good bass sound going as well but again, there's that sort of repetitive feel to it. Usually you should change the melody and beat at least every 4-8 bars to keep a constant changing flow to the tune. But all in all, really good for a first complete tune!

Also, I know that drum look you used, I have that exact same sample loop~ x3
I used that same drum loop in this tune but I mixed it up a lot and added tons of effects and stuff to it to give it a heavier punch~ x3 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7037509/

yeah it was pretty rushed to finish and needed to be more than 3 minutes for an assignment which is due on monday XD. I focused more on the mixing and mastering than the actual composition. Stuff i do in the future will have more effort put into it with my own drum beats and more variety.

but thanks for your input anyway, i appreciate it :)

you write some pretty awesome stuff, if you want someone to mix or master your stuff give me a buzz. i'd be more than happy to. I have access to some pretty decent studio's at my university.