I'm fond of it :D The first line with the 'prompt' in it was a nice humor start. For a scrap its very good :)

I suppose it is. I'm just too hard on my own writing. But I did some thinking about it at work today and I've decided I don't hate it as much as I did yesterday.

*pops him on the back of the head...

and how could you be disappointed with that? I thought it was darling....

V.

I was disappointed because it felt very forced and in the end I was unsatisfied with how little humour I ended up using. I thought it was going to be a nice, silly little reminiscence story, but it didn't go for nearly as long as I wanted it to.

But I did some thinking, and I realized what I need to do. I need to make it a scene in a longer story. So for now, it's a scrap until I come up with the longer story I can add this into.

This is great XD

I don't agree, but I do appreciate your comment, thanks. :)

XDD
Whaaat monster?!

I'm going to drop that line when I incorporate it into a bigger story. I hated that line as soon as I wrote it, but by then I was beyond caring. ;)

...I just wanna know about the monster. >_>

I'm going to say more stuff about it in a longer story, but I'm still going to drop that cheesy line.

This isn't bad at all. It's a fragment, to be sure, but the dialogue flows quite naturally and your narrative works quite well. I could easily picture everything you were describing, right down to the waft of perfume following the tiger ( I have a co-worker that fits that description).

It definitely is one, yeah. And the sooner I realized that, the better I felt about posting it here. Granted, it took me a day to warm up to it, but still...

I do want to alter the dialogue at the end, and (why does Firefox say "dialogue" is spelled wrong? *Adds to the dictionary.*) add more description of the time long ago, but other than that, I'm not as displeased with this as I was before. Now that said, it'll probably sit here for months until I decide what I want to do with the setting.

Thank you for your comment. :)

I don't think this was bad at all, actually. I can't think of a single pointer to give you... o.0 'Course, that's not really a surprise - I'm just a 'slightly-above-average' writer myself, LoL.

And yeah, the line might not go too well woven into a larger story - for a sequence like this, though, I thought it fit in quite well! ^^

(oh wait, actually... I don't think you ever specified what Rhys was. Okay, so that's still not a pointer, and I could easily have just overlooked it - but that's the only thing I could think of. ^^; )

Rhys = rabbit, but I think I want to make him a hare instead. His character description in my notes will remain the same, though, so it's all good. And I don't think I mentioned it in the story, you're right.

I'm only slightly-above-average as well, too. ;)

Haha, very cute little story. I have to say, though, that line about 'Tah noticing that girl's math skills first was far more telling than the entire narrative that began this scene.

Cute. Funny. Laughed out loud a couple of times. Nothing really exceptional in the story, but in its own shortness it is very entertaining. Great little piece, I enjoyed reading this.