It's blatantly obvious that you didn't put much effort into this, and please understand that I mean that in a GOOD way. I'm sure that sounds odd, but let me explain...

I've always seen you as a passionate writer. You've always come across as someone who REALLY gets into what they're writing, and the writing reflects that passion and makes for an incredible read.

This story lacks that, and from the description you gave, I can clearly see why.

My story description requires additional context.

The person who commissioned me wanted me to outline a concept for a sketch that they're commissioning an artist to draw. It's not my best work, clearly, but it was never meant to be.

Ahh, that does shed a bit more light on it. Still, that's basically what I was trying to get at. This isn't your best work, and it's easy to see why.