Keep da hell away from me :S!

cute spider hehe

Garden orb weaver?

http://www.findaspider.org.au/find/spiders/105.htm

Nah, that one is way too decorative.

why do i find this cute?

It can unfold and it looks like a great big regular spider if that means anything.

Or maybe the tropical orb weaver? I'm not sure, there are so many different types of orb weavers...

http://entnemdept.ufl.edu/creatures.....orb_weaver.htm

I like how he has his head tucked under like, "No! NOOO! Not the face! I just had eye surgery! On four different eyes!"

it is a garden orb weaver spider. they range in color and pattern but are typically reddish brown or gray in color. this one is just solid brown. it's hard to tell from the angle this pic and the others were taken but it does appear to have the proper shape to its abdomen as well though among orb weavers in general abdom size and shape varies greatly and with roughly 2800 different known species i can't be certain this is indeed the right type of spider. but i have been searching for an hour with nothing to go on but what it looks like and there is little info i have come up with surprisingly in regard to this type of spider.

i found this little blog here: http://ozwildlifestudio.com/spiders.....-guests-diary/ which has the only pictures of a brown garden orb weaver i can find (you'd think google search would have an easy time with a simple description like that but noooo...) but the abdomen is the key issue. looking at the pics on that site it's a near perfect resemblance to what you posted. just the angle of all the pics you have doesnt show the shape of the abdomen in a way that would make it a perfect match. the garden orb weaver has a round roughly triangular shaped abdomen which you can easily see on that site. but your pics have the spider with it's legs tucked in for a frontal view and it's hard to really see the overall shape. but i think my findings are accurate. i mean just look at your spider pics against what i found.

now reading the description of that type of spider and how it acts, where it lives etc it is my guess that it wandered into your house by mistake most likely and you found it during the day all scrunched up on itself which is something garden orb weavers do when they sleep which just so happens to be during the day as they are nocturnal. but they do prefer to live outdoors.

That's no doubt the same genus, but it looks like it's on the wrong continent. I'll dig it up on bugguide later when I feel like wasting four hours or so. Yeah there's a shitload of orb weavers, and a bunch of them hang out in this pose, apparently. And they're all brown.

yea well i didn't know what continent you were from but what i have read seems to indicate that the type i found are most commonly found in australia. still the resemblance is uncanny and i'm glad i could help narrow the field down some.

the Black Widow spider has spreaded to Sweden, so its really hard to generally know which spiders live in which continent's/country's.

Why am I thinking: "You can't see me" ?

Well, I didn't at first, so I guess that's the idea.

It doesn't seem to be mammalian; that's all I can say.

(I almost jokingly identified it as the False Cactus Spider; but... no.)

"It was gonna build a web directly across the door at face level though."

Sounds like it was trying to catch you. ;)

time to squish assho-ly shit this fucker huge!!!

Neoscona crucifera are the orb weavers in this pic and the links.

The other spider is not an orb weaver, it's Parasteatoda tepidariorum.

Thanks! So the other one was just stealing shit then?

Parasteatoda aren't known to be kleptoparasitic. That's more in the Argyrodes domain.

Probably just coincidentally nearby.

Weird. Maybe it didn't notice the giant spider right there.

They are not known for great eye sight .