Been pretty down lately, stopped shaving my head.

Down side: My balding is more apparent.

Up side: No longer need to wear hats.

For as often as I’m complimented on my appearance, and as often as I’m told my genuine nature is attractive, I should not be nearly so alone as I am. Yet, no matter what, there’s something subtle about me that prevents anyone from showing anything more than a passing interest in me beyond base friendship. I think I am fucking fantastic, I couldn’t have the kind of friends I do if I wasn’t valuable as a person, but in the end, nothing comes of my efforts.

I need to know what it is that turns people away, or I can never change. I can’t be alone forever, I don’t know if I have it in me to deal with that.