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Johnathan Pennyfare is in the prime of his life. Young and well-to-do, he's fighting to find his place in rural Sussex as England is caught in the throws of the Industrial Revolution. Good thing he has the love of beautiful Emma Talbot to ground him. Their names will be on everybody's lips once he proposes to her at tonight's social.
He has only a single task before leaving for the manor house. Some newfangled scientist is seeking his patronage. Unbeknownst to Johnathan, the frightful Doctor Robenson is more frantic for funds than he appears. In an effort to ensure Johnathan's support Robenson infects him with his latest invention, an elixir made from the great British symbol, the lion. Johnathan must now support the foul man if he hopes to find a cure.
Now not only must Johnathan dance the intricate social ritual of marrying good Miss. Talbot, but also hide the physical changes as he slowly transforms into something that would be better seen in a freak show.
A reupload to cap off the story. Check at the end for an expanded Author's Note.
Artwork by the awesome Negger
Comments and critiques are always more than welcome.
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He has only a single task before leaving for the manor house. Some newfangled scientist is seeking his patronage. Unbeknownst to Johnathan, the frightful Doctor Robenson is more frantic for funds than he appears. In an effort to ensure Johnathan's support Robenson infects him with his latest invention, an elixir made from the great British symbol, the lion. Johnathan must now support the foul man if he hopes to find a cure.
Now not only must Johnathan dance the intricate social ritual of marrying good Miss. Talbot, but also hide the physical changes as he slowly transforms into something that would be better seen in a freak show.
A reupload to cap off the story. Check at the end for an expanded Author's Note.
Artwork by the awesome Negger
Comments and critiques are always more than welcome.
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
Category Story / All
Species Lion
Size 103 x 120px
File Size 198.2 kB
Listed in Folders
You're right, Johnathan could have -- and perhaps should have -- been more vengeful for what was done to him. But stealing away the bell of the ball, the woman all three of them are fighting over, and having her come to him willingly.
That's classy.
As for a sequel, I never thought of that...
That's classy.
As for a sequel, I never thought of that...
So, now that I've finished reading, I have to say I loved this story. My main critique from page one to the end is that you consistently over-use paragraph breaks; the number of times you break paragraph while remaining on the same subject is incredibly frequent and makes the reading not only feel choppy but also reduces the dramatic effect that a short paragraph or unexpected break can have. Beyond that, I loved the characters and plot, I thought the pace was fantastic, the descriptions strong, the dialogue spot-on, the interactions amusing, and overall loved reading this. I also want to say the story was delightfully unique. You came up with a novel premise, and then went somewhere rather unexpected with it. It was engaging from the beginning to end, and I can't wait for more :D
Personally, I'd also say that you should consider running this by an editor and possibly submitting it to be published; I think it has the quality for any of the furry publishers to want to print this. The only downside is they'd want you to take it down from being online. I'm just saying this because I know I would pay to read it :D
Personally, I'd also say that you should consider running this by an editor and possibly submitting it to be published; I think it has the quality for any of the furry publishers to want to print this. The only downside is they'd want you to take it down from being online. I'm just saying this because I know I would pay to read it :D
Thanks, your critique is much appreciated!
You're right, I tend to use a lot of paragraph breaks. Let me know if you notice the problem in my other works. Writing in the third person perspective threw a lot of my normal styles off.
And I'm glad you liked the premise. I tend to write what I like to think of as anti-monster stories.
Another thank-you for thinking my work is publishable. I'm... working on it! Though as it stands right now I'm still trying to find an agent or publisher who'll give me the time of day!
You're right, I tend to use a lot of paragraph breaks. Let me know if you notice the problem in my other works. Writing in the third person perspective threw a lot of my normal styles off.
And I'm glad you liked the premise. I tend to write what I like to think of as anti-monster stories.
Another thank-you for thinking my work is publishable. I'm... working on it! Though as it stands right now I'm still trying to find an agent or publisher who'll give me the time of day!
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