Baby Eating fox from Adventure Time (http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Baby_Eating_Fox_and_the_Babies?file=Baby_book.png)

Okay.

Yes.

I kinda promised that I'd try to art better than what I can do on this laptop.

Like any addiction or bad romance, I had to go back one more time. Like I know in the future, I'll do this shit again "one last time". And maybe it won't be the last time. It probably isn't. But like so many people fighting their addictions, I'm trying to avoid it, though I'm drawn to it (no pun intended) . I'm compelled. There's a whispering in my ear, an ungodly muse chittering and I'm the only one that hears it. It leaves me alone sometimes.....when I do these things. I know they're bad. I know I shouldn't post them. But I can't help it. I fight it as hard as I can but I know there's some days where I just have to give in. I have to figuratively drink the spoiled milk. I know it isn't good, but a part of me, a sick depraved part of me demands I do this to myself.

This isn't what I want. I don't like doing this. But it won't stop. God it won't stop until the deed is done. I give in....so I can remain composed for longer. Anytime I draw, this...this is what I see, until I break into looking like something more reasonable. Something less like the call from eternal blank hellacious space. I don't understand.

I really don't understand, but I look at what my sins have earned me...and I want to comprehend it.