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More from Samuel_Maggis
so this is the first part of a new story I got going on the sidelines with my new horse character Lavitz. He is a rather unique character, and it's something I haven't really worked with before in terms of age, species, and well I won't ruint he story for ya so i'll leave it there.
I really hope you enjoy it and I look forward to any critiques you may have for it.
I really hope you enjoy it and I look forward to any critiques you may have for it.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 93px
File Size 98 kB
Alright, finished~
It was a very entertaining read, and the suspenseful air and ending are well done for an arcing plotline. What really got my attention was this "letter in the mail". It goes unexplained, but appears to have significant impact on the story, and it keeps the reader hooked.
Now, for the negative half of the critique. You have horribly wanton grammatical errors in this piece. I've found everything from missing commas, incorrectly capitalized letters, badly punctuated dialog (I have no room to talk there), tense shifts, non-capitalized letters, errant words which are likely the work of spellcheck, and fickle spacing. In all, the story is very interesting and suspenseful, but it appears rushed, almost like quickly writing a paper the before it's due.
It was a very entertaining read, and the suspenseful air and ending are well done for an arcing plotline. What really got my attention was this "letter in the mail". It goes unexplained, but appears to have significant impact on the story, and it keeps the reader hooked.
Now, for the negative half of the critique. You have horribly wanton grammatical errors in this piece. I've found everything from missing commas, incorrectly capitalized letters, badly punctuated dialog (I have no room to talk there), tense shifts, non-capitalized letters, errant words which are likely the work of spellcheck, and fickle spacing. In all, the story is very interesting and suspenseful, but it appears rushed, almost like quickly writing a paper the before it's due.
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