FA+
Shop
256
Views
Views
1
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Traditional) / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 859 x 900
File Size 339.2 kB
Report this content
More from slipstreme
Sadly this is not a fetish picture, no matter what anyone says or finds hot. But rather how I feel everyday.
..............................................
My body is a prison, day in and day out, hiding who I really am inside a thick mushy shell. Not a day goes by that I don't want to remove parts of my body, be a bit taller and heavier built (not fatter) and just be male. Or at least close to it.
No I don't have the extreme hatred of my genetalia that most have, unless you count the reproductive parts, but something is missing. There is a reason Slipstreme is not a full male like Gorath, but rather a herm. My breasts are tumors, not the soft bouncy pillows that straight men and lesbians enjoy, but ragged sagging tumors that are alien to me. I never liked them, perhaps they are normal for women, but not me. Try as I might, no matter how much weight I loose I am still fat, and I don't want to be thin. Too much of the exercise I have makes me leaner, not bulky with muscles. I can thank my skeleton for that, too round. My shoulders slope, I have curves, I never wanted.
My body is a prison, kept inside, alone, understood by few, hated by many. This is the problem with coming out.
But my body is a prison, and I need escape.
.........................................
No I don't feel particularly depressed about it right now, but when I drew this a month ago, I was. There is a lot of fear about going through transition: possibly loosing my job and my biological family; parents, brother, grandparents, uncles and aunts, getting killed or beaten in a bad way for who I am, and a lot of hatred for my body. And there will always be someone or something to remind me of what I was. What I don't want to be, what I don't want others to see me as. This is the problem with being transsexual.
..............................................
My body is a prison, day in and day out, hiding who I really am inside a thick mushy shell. Not a day goes by that I don't want to remove parts of my body, be a bit taller and heavier built (not fatter) and just be male. Or at least close to it.
No I don't have the extreme hatred of my genetalia that most have, unless you count the reproductive parts, but something is missing. There is a reason Slipstreme is not a full male like Gorath, but rather a herm. My breasts are tumors, not the soft bouncy pillows that straight men and lesbians enjoy, but ragged sagging tumors that are alien to me. I never liked them, perhaps they are normal for women, but not me. Try as I might, no matter how much weight I loose I am still fat, and I don't want to be thin. Too much of the exercise I have makes me leaner, not bulky with muscles. I can thank my skeleton for that, too round. My shoulders slope, I have curves, I never wanted.
My body is a prison, kept inside, alone, understood by few, hated by many. This is the problem with coming out.
But my body is a prison, and I need escape.
.........................................
No I don't feel particularly depressed about it right now, but when I drew this a month ago, I was. There is a lot of fear about going through transition: possibly loosing my job and my biological family; parents, brother, grandparents, uncles and aunts, getting killed or beaten in a bad way for who I am, and a lot of hatred for my body. And there will always be someone or something to remind me of what I was. What I don't want to be, what I don't want others to see me as. This is the problem with being transsexual.
Category Artwork (Traditional) / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 859 x 900px
File Size 339.2 kB
....*offers a hug* I have no idea of what pain you are going through right now but I will offer any help I can and a shoulder to lean on. I stand by anyone. I would never be prejudice to anyone. I understand you, though I may not know much of transsexuals. I know it is painful but I'll alway be a friend to help and try to keep your mind of from it.
thankfully I am getting therapy. We have Persad here in Pittsburgh which is specifically for the LGBT community and offers therapy which depending on your ability to pay, can be free. And thankfully I counted as free. I think now I am in the phase of feeling like it is taking too long because now it has finally become an option. And then there is the whole questioning yourself part, knowing what you want to be like, but still never really sure because well, what if you were wrong in the end? There are many days I wish I could just be normal and be like the other girls ,so I don't have to go through with the problems associated with changing gender, but I never fit in there. It was always like I was on a different planet trying to be like them.
That day I drew it I was really depressed, and we were in a financial rut which doesn't help. It was pay rent and buy food. We couldn't afford our other bills and the companies we owed were starting to get restless. I haven't even been able to go out and hang with someone since January. So everything was piling up, and art can often take my mind off being depressed about my issues.
That day I drew it I was really depressed, and we were in a financial rut which doesn't help. It was pay rent and buy food. We couldn't afford our other bills and the companies we owed were starting to get restless. I haven't even been able to go out and hang with someone since January. So everything was piling up, and art can often take my mind off being depressed about my issues.
Thats good to hear about the therapy. As long as its free it should help as well. Just take your time and find yourself. You could always try meditation. I meditate to help relieve stress or just to find myself and speak with my mind for awhile. Art like you said also helps a great deal also your mates are a key part to helping. Love is like a miracle band-aid sometimes I think. Having a quad relationship can sometimes get overwhelming I can imagine as well. I'm glad you aren't depressed like you were and I hope your financial trouble has receded. As soon as I get well and everything gets sorted with my life Tozame and I would love to meet you and the rest of your pack. I've already had the pleasure of meeting Scales at last year's AnthroCon. If you want to contact me other than here, DA, or FS my e-mail is celest_jacolf@yahoo.com. I'll always have an open ear to listen or just to talk.
wow, im glad someone else actually feels this way, about their gender. i looked at this picture just cause thats the kinda of mood ive been in, i even drew something recentlly somewhat the same feeling as this (although the final outcome strayed a bit from being just about gender). like i was saying, it feels like what you said came straight from my mouth, im glad you feel like you could share your feelings/thoughts
There actually are quite a few trans and genderqueer people on FA, all of them at different stages with their own minds and bodies, and a couple of these are artists. I can give you links if you wish (by note of course).
No one is ever truly alone in their feelings. There is always going to be someone who can either help you, or at least understand what you are going through. I am lucky to have a nice support network here at home and easy access therapy.
No one is ever truly alone in their feelings. There is always going to be someone who can either help you, or at least understand what you are going through. I am lucky to have a nice support network here at home and easy access therapy.
Comments