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This is one of the very first story I've written. This was suppose to be part of a novel I wanted to write over 10 years ago. Unfortunately, since this was one of my very first written works, writing a novel right off the bat ended up being too much to handle. I only had fragments of ideas for the story. So, I ended up scrapping the idea, and only kept two chapters. This is the first one. I'll post the other one sometime in the future.
Fortunately, this intro chapter into the novel can stand on it's own as a short story.
I'm rather happy with this story. This is the first story where I used Krolain, my first fur character. Yand is suppose to be me, or a reflection of me anyhow :) It's also where I came up with my form of magic Chaos Magic (used in 'Shadows of the Night'). This is just an early form of the idea, but this is where it came from.
Enjoy it. Hopefully it will tie you all up 'till I get a new piece going :)
Fortunately, this intro chapter into the novel can stand on it's own as a short story.
I'm rather happy with this story. This is the first story where I used Krolain, my first fur character. Yand is suppose to be me, or a reflection of me anyhow :) It's also where I came up with my form of magic Chaos Magic (used in 'Shadows of the Night'). This is just an early form of the idea, but this is where it came from.
Enjoy it. Hopefully it will tie you all up 'till I get a new piece going :)
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 20.6 kB
Listed in Folders
i really enjoyed this bud, really did =] this story has alot of potential.
i like the plot so far and the execution of the story
if u ever decide to work on this story again, the only thing i c that needs a touch-up is giving more of a description on the characters, important or not, bcuz as im quite sure u kno, every1 loves to paint the pictures u draw w/ ur writing in our minds =] also, give a tiny bit more depth in the events u set out for us and u will easily snag ppl's attention to your stuff.
great start in 1995, still a great start now! =D
~Boku
i like the plot so far and the execution of the story
if u ever decide to work on this story again, the only thing i c that needs a touch-up is giving more of a description on the characters, important or not, bcuz as im quite sure u kno, every1 loves to paint the pictures u draw w/ ur writing in our minds =] also, give a tiny bit more depth in the events u set out for us and u will easily snag ppl's attention to your stuff.
great start in 1995, still a great start now! =D
~Boku
Thank you very much for your kind words :)
I do agree with you that character description in this story is rather light. It's one of the problems I have the most with stories because I like to use the first-person-removed point-of-view. In that PoV, whichever character I focus on, won't get a description unless the character is actually narcissistic or gets to look at him/herself. Though that doesn't mean other character don't get more description.
However, as I write this, I kinda figured out how I can solve this in this story. *chuckles* Why I like good comments like this because it makes me think and come up with better solutions to problems I got!
Again, thanks, and maybe someday I'll touch it up and do a version 2.0 of the story.
I do agree with you that character description in this story is rather light. It's one of the problems I have the most with stories because I like to use the first-person-removed point-of-view. In that PoV, whichever character I focus on, won't get a description unless the character is actually narcissistic or gets to look at him/herself. Though that doesn't mean other character don't get more description.
However, as I write this, I kinda figured out how I can solve this in this story. *chuckles* Why I like good comments like this because it makes me think and come up with better solutions to problems I got!
Again, thanks, and maybe someday I'll touch it up and do a version 2.0 of the story.
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