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More from UlricKessler
Second edition of Badass Babes of FA! This is where I take the famous, the most loved and hell just plain awesome gals out there on FA and find the most ass-kicking-ist, shit-wrecking-ist, pole-axe to the balls scale badasses from history or fiction and use those to set the theme for the fan art/gift art/me just being a generally nice fellow depictions like you see here.
Submission Theme Song! Enjoy, it's really awesome
The Babes-
(Left)
DeZarc (<3)
(Right)
astrofenn (crazy version that I find so awesome!)
The badassess-
Zarc there is depicted representing one totally awesome gal from the Second World War known as Nancy Wake.
*Nancy Wake was a hard-drinking, hard-fighting World War II special agent, saboteur, and resistance commander who survived four days of Gestapo interrogation, saved over two hundred downed Allied pilots from falling into the clutches of the Nazi penal system, blew up a couple German supply depots, had a bounty of five million Francs placed on her head, and then killed an SS stormtrooper with her bare hands by apparently dishing out a hardcore Austin Powers judo chop to the throat.
When the war finally ended and it was time to hand out the medals, Nancy Wake found herself the most decorated Allied woman of World War II. She received the British George Medal, the American Medal of Freedom, the French Legion d'Honneur, and three Croix de Guerres. She was made a member of the Order of Australia. New Zealand named a street after her.
Naturally, not giving a crap about awards and stuff like that, Wake sold off her medals and lived off the money for the rest of her life. When asked why the hell she sold a trio of Croix de Guerres, she said, "There's no point in keeping them… I'll probably go the hell and they'd melt anyways."
She lived to be 98 years old.*
What an awesome gal eh? Now then..not all the badasses I mix and match with are female nor are they all really the heroic type either..this one I found perfectly fitting for the demented variation of that voluptuous vixen who gave me a little boost of encouragement one day to keep at it. You'll note on her profile that her name is a "Mystery to you". Well that made my choice in which badass to represent her crazy half well enough right there. Ladies and Gentlemen of FA..I give you..Turgeis the Devil.
Every so often in human history a blood-soaked, face-eating murder-master comes along who is so impossibly evil, cruel, and utterly unredeeming as a human being that the only logical conclusion is that he was the physical incarnation of Satan's unrelenting desire to bring about the brutal dismemberment of all human souls in Creation and then use those souls to wipe his ball sweat while he makes beef jerky from Sacred Cows and bench-presses Jesus.
In 9th century Ireland that man was a faceless cataclysm of destruction known throughout history only as Turgeis the Devil – the First of the Viking Conquerors of Eire, the Butcher of Clonmacnoise, the Founder of Dublin, and, to this day, one of the most hated men in the history of the Emerald Isle.
As is the case with most of history's greatest badasses, nobody knows shit about Turgeis' past, his family, or anything else before his abrupt arrival on the shores of Northern Ireland. We know that in the late 830s he just materialized at the head of a massive fleet of dragon-headed longboats decorated with multi-colored shields and loaded with spear-hucking bearded Viking asskickers eager for nothing more than to face-shank and/or kidnap and/or massacre every single human being that ran slower than them. And since nothing exists describing what the hell this totally-mysterious, utterly-terrifying Norseman from somewhere in the vicinity of the Norway actually even looked like, he can really only be described using Lovecraftian "imagine the most horrible thing you can imagine and then crank it up by a factor of five and give it tentacles for a beard" terms.
As if that's not enough, the first Viking Conqueror of Ireland is made even more awesome and mysterious in that we can't even fucking agree on the dude's name – the Irish call him Turgeis, modern-day historians suspect his real name was Thorgils or Thorgest, and Wikipedia calls him Turgesius because that's how the Latin-speaking countries referred to him (I usually tend to default to Wikipedia on shit like this, but the page for him there is so terrible that I can't stomach it). I'd argue it doesn't matter – it's that "The Devil" part that's the important bit, and despite the startling lack of knowledge about the dude it's the one thing that everyone can agree on definitively, so as you're reading this just keep in mind that this motherfucker was Pure Evil Incarnate carrying a battle axe and a golden gem-encrusted goblet filled with human entrails and the rest will fall into place.
In addition to forging the first Viking State in Western Europe on a river of blood, Turgeis the Devil is also notable for the fact that he founded the city of Dublin in 841. An area that had been previously to the locals as Dubh-Linn ("The Black Pool"), Turgeis saw the region as a good narrow spot across the Liffey River and decided to set up a trading settlement there to help ship his plundered shit back and forth to Norway or Denmark or wherever the fuck he was actually from. He inadvertently ended up establishing the town that nowadays serves as the present-day capital of Ireland in the process.*
Hope you enjoyed that history lesson there, and I hope I did you ladies justice in these depictions. Now off to my nutty little world called my imagination!
* = quoted from my favorite website ever: badassoftheweek.com
The caption for astrofenn reads "What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my axe blade into your face!"
Submission Theme Song! Enjoy, it's really awesome
The Babes-
(Left)
DeZarc (<3)(Right)
astrofenn (crazy version that I find so awesome!)The badassess-
Zarc there is depicted representing one totally awesome gal from the Second World War known as Nancy Wake.
*Nancy Wake was a hard-drinking, hard-fighting World War II special agent, saboteur, and resistance commander who survived four days of Gestapo interrogation, saved over two hundred downed Allied pilots from falling into the clutches of the Nazi penal system, blew up a couple German supply depots, had a bounty of five million Francs placed on her head, and then killed an SS stormtrooper with her bare hands by apparently dishing out a hardcore Austin Powers judo chop to the throat.
When the war finally ended and it was time to hand out the medals, Nancy Wake found herself the most decorated Allied woman of World War II. She received the British George Medal, the American Medal of Freedom, the French Legion d'Honneur, and three Croix de Guerres. She was made a member of the Order of Australia. New Zealand named a street after her.
Naturally, not giving a crap about awards and stuff like that, Wake sold off her medals and lived off the money for the rest of her life. When asked why the hell she sold a trio of Croix de Guerres, she said, "There's no point in keeping them… I'll probably go the hell and they'd melt anyways."
She lived to be 98 years old.*
What an awesome gal eh? Now then..not all the badasses I mix and match with are female nor are they all really the heroic type either..this one I found perfectly fitting for the demented variation of that voluptuous vixen who gave me a little boost of encouragement one day to keep at it. You'll note on her profile that her name is a "Mystery to you". Well that made my choice in which badass to represent her crazy half well enough right there. Ladies and Gentlemen of FA..I give you..Turgeis the Devil.
Every so often in human history a blood-soaked, face-eating murder-master comes along who is so impossibly evil, cruel, and utterly unredeeming as a human being that the only logical conclusion is that he was the physical incarnation of Satan's unrelenting desire to bring about the brutal dismemberment of all human souls in Creation and then use those souls to wipe his ball sweat while he makes beef jerky from Sacred Cows and bench-presses Jesus.
In 9th century Ireland that man was a faceless cataclysm of destruction known throughout history only as Turgeis the Devil – the First of the Viking Conquerors of Eire, the Butcher of Clonmacnoise, the Founder of Dublin, and, to this day, one of the most hated men in the history of the Emerald Isle.
As is the case with most of history's greatest badasses, nobody knows shit about Turgeis' past, his family, or anything else before his abrupt arrival on the shores of Northern Ireland. We know that in the late 830s he just materialized at the head of a massive fleet of dragon-headed longboats decorated with multi-colored shields and loaded with spear-hucking bearded Viking asskickers eager for nothing more than to face-shank and/or kidnap and/or massacre every single human being that ran slower than them. And since nothing exists describing what the hell this totally-mysterious, utterly-terrifying Norseman from somewhere in the vicinity of the Norway actually even looked like, he can really only be described using Lovecraftian "imagine the most horrible thing you can imagine and then crank it up by a factor of five and give it tentacles for a beard" terms.
As if that's not enough, the first Viking Conqueror of Ireland is made even more awesome and mysterious in that we can't even fucking agree on the dude's name – the Irish call him Turgeis, modern-day historians suspect his real name was Thorgils or Thorgest, and Wikipedia calls him Turgesius because that's how the Latin-speaking countries referred to him (I usually tend to default to Wikipedia on shit like this, but the page for him there is so terrible that I can't stomach it). I'd argue it doesn't matter – it's that "The Devil" part that's the important bit, and despite the startling lack of knowledge about the dude it's the one thing that everyone can agree on definitively, so as you're reading this just keep in mind that this motherfucker was Pure Evil Incarnate carrying a battle axe and a golden gem-encrusted goblet filled with human entrails and the rest will fall into place.
In addition to forging the first Viking State in Western Europe on a river of blood, Turgeis the Devil is also notable for the fact that he founded the city of Dublin in 841. An area that had been previously to the locals as Dubh-Linn ("The Black Pool"), Turgeis saw the region as a good narrow spot across the Liffey River and decided to set up a trading settlement there to help ship his plundered shit back and forth to Norway or Denmark or wherever the fuck he was actually from. He inadvertently ended up establishing the town that nowadays serves as the present-day capital of Ireland in the process.*
Hope you enjoyed that history lesson there, and I hope I did you ladies justice in these depictions. Now off to my nutty little world called my imagination!
* = quoted from my favorite website ever: badassoftheweek.com
The caption for astrofenn reads "What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my axe blade into your face!"
Category Artwork (Traditional) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 692 x 506px
File Size 158.8 kB
Comments