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Story / General Furry Art
Species Wolf
Size 99 x 120
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A story that follows a poor old man who must find a Soul Keeper to help put his wife's spirit to rest.
The story should help give the idea of the tradition of the Soul Keeper in their world. An attempt to write at a third person, while still keeping overall within the bounds of only what the main character knows, and is thinking.
A little bit depressing, but a happy ending I think.
The story should help give the idea of the tradition of the Soul Keeper in their world. An attempt to write at a third person, while still keeping overall within the bounds of only what the main character knows, and is thinking.
A little bit depressing, but a happy ending I think.
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Wolf
Size 99 x 120px
File Size 23.3 kB
Thank you, I'm happy I got someone some fur on the inside. =3 I had to keep remembering the ending was happy to go on. Kinda reminded me, and tried to write it at the perspective of my mother basically. Because my step-dad died from a year ago. So the emotions there made it kinda difficult.
I really liked the setting -- nothing's forced, it's introduced smoothly, and any info given is relevant to the plot. Which I also enjoyed. The only thing I noticed was on a technical level: a few typos and sentence fragments that didn't really seem to serve any purpose. Like right in the beginning, there's not much of a reason for "An aging black furred wolf, silvering with age" to be its own sentence, and "When the farmer had come by the old wolf on the road" is actually confusing as its own sentence since it comes before its context. It makes for a bit of a bumpy read.
But that's just copy stuff. The story itself is nice and very complete. This is one of those rare instances where killing off the main character in the end actually works in its favor.
Also, so far as the limited third-person POV: I think you pulled it off well. We aren't just told what the framework is, but rather have to learn of the story from the main character's perspective. And learn about him in the process, too.
But that's just copy stuff. The story itself is nice and very complete. This is one of those rare instances where killing off the main character in the end actually works in its favor.
Also, so far as the limited third-person POV: I think you pulled it off well. We aren't just told what the framework is, but rather have to learn of the story from the main character's perspective. And learn about him in the process, too.
Thank you very much for the critique. Slowly learning the sentence issues I have. My mate recently pointed it out that it's kind of how I think and speak so it will be a bit of a speed bump to get rid of. So another point in a direction of betterment. =D I'm happy to hear about your feelings on teh setting and POV. I hadn't even intended the killing/dieing at the end, but it felt incomplete without that sort of followup on a little touch of how his life went and then seeing her again. Might be influenced by watching my mother. She maybe atheist, but still the feeling I had writing for it felt like experiencing it from in her perspective. It seemed to really helped me feel the difference between losing a father/step from losing a husband.
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