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Thought Processes I Don't Understand Volume Two
I see this one on the Anthrocon boards all the time.
Granted, it's usually young teens who are perhaps taking the whole furry thing a little toooo dramatically, but it still kind of boggles my mind. I kind of put furry on par with being an otaku or being into model trains or something so it's kind of like "If your parents are going to have a cow about it there's no real reason to tell them. Cons will still be there when you're old enough to not need their permission."
And if it's a fetish for you... your parents don't need to know about your fetishes. They probably don't WANT to know about them. Do you want to know their fetishes? Because they have them. Oh yes.
Granted, it's usually young teens who are perhaps taking the whole furry thing a little toooo dramatically, but it still kind of boggles my mind. I kind of put furry on par with being an otaku or being into model trains or something so it's kind of like "If your parents are going to have a cow about it there's no real reason to tell them. Cons will still be there when you're old enough to not need their permission."
And if it's a fetish for you... your parents don't need to know about your fetishes. They probably don't WANT to know about them. Do you want to know their fetishes? Because they have them. Oh yes.
Category Artwork (Digital) / Comics
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I was offered a chance to make Electra body pillows. I... just couldn't see it.
Now there's a coming out. Hi mum and dad, I don't merely get boners from furry ladies, I get boners from this particular furry lady called Electra who's an obvious parody and a terrible person.
Now there's a coming out. Hi mum and dad, I don't merely get boners from furry ladies, I get boners from this particular furry lady called Electra who's an obvious parody and a terrible person.
I came out to mine cause of the sheer amount of artwork I was collecting/having mailed to my house at the time... But it wasn't an "OMG everyone HAS to know" kind of deal.. Just to explain why the sudden flux of mail coming my way that was art. Not everyone is going to care what you like or are into.
Mine found out pretty quick, a few months, and then i told em. They thought it was a phase, and now, they just don't give a damn. Long as i keep the pornographic side away from anybody that does't need to know. Kids can look at the COOL stuff, but only that. I ALWAYS turn the screen(s) away when i am looking up another picture that is appropriate or at least child-safe. Like a were-wolf/lycan, all body-builder'd up and has shorts, or just not showing any genitalia... Been a furry for well-over 4 years.
No, u dun understand. Im 14 and saving up for murrsuit, parents need to know. My boyfriend that lives 5000 miles away wanted me to get one :v
Real talk: Parents sorta just, found out. That was one thing I was all too happy keeping a secret :/ it'd be nice to be able to discuss it every now and then, or not have to explain certain phrases used over the phone or that slipped out. Oh well, that's what text and Skype is for. I wasn't ever going to tell them willingly
Real talk: Parents sorta just, found out. That was one thing I was all too happy keeping a secret :/ it'd be nice to be able to discuss it every now and then, or not have to explain certain phrases used over the phone or that slipped out. Oh well, that's what text and Skype is for. I wasn't ever going to tell them willingly
lol, same thing for me! XD I only take a lover home to my parents if I am super serious about it, and I've only done it ONCE, so only one girl have my parents ever known me to date XD despite having had several more boyfriends and girlfriends XD Absolutely no need to bother my parents with the fact that I am bisexual unless I am in a super serious relationship with a guy X3
I never thought of it as "coming out" because furry isn't such a consuming part of my life I felt it to need that definition? My parents asked what I was drawing a long time ago and I told them, and eventually when I started going to cons they understood I was meeting with others who shared the interest. It's been really nice to be able to talk openly about (most parts of) the fandom with them!
I agree. There's not much reason to 'have' to do anything like that. little to none.
Me? I don't hide anything from anyone; though it did require a bit of effort and a whole third party to convince my grandmother that the furries on CSI did not define the entirety of the fandom :I
Me? I don't hide anything from anyone; though it did require a bit of effort and a whole third party to convince my grandmother that the furries on CSI did not define the entirety of the fandom :I
i mean if you WANT To tell your folks you're a furry, then by all means go for it. but you should never HAVE too, its your own personal life, no one NEEDS to know what you enjoy doing. the only reason anyone WOULD want to tell their parents is so they can wear their furry stuffs around them and at that point you are shoving it into THEIR lives which isnt exactly a great thing to do. Its just like religion, you can workship anyone/anything you want, just dont shove it in other peoples faces.
and at that point you are shoving it into THEIR lives which isnt exactly a great thing to do
This is a very good point. If it makes them uncomfortable (and to be frank someone who wants to wear that stuff EVERYDAY outside of a con or a costume party kind of puts me off too), don't do it.
This is a very good point. If it makes them uncomfortable (and to be frank someone who wants to wear that stuff EVERYDAY outside of a con or a costume party kind of puts me off too), don't do it.
She's saying to the contrast that someone whom wears fursuits, or just ears or tails on a DAILY basis is creepy, there is a lifestyle sure, there is also knowing that when real life exists. i know there are people out there whom CANT function unless they have a fursuit on but those people have disorders, being disorder free and wanting to wear ears/tails or fursuits daily is maybe a tad wierd. dont get me wrong, as soon as i get a fursuit i'd wear the thing THE DAY i get it and wear it in the house (i live in a house of 4 other furs), but as for wearing it outside of the excitement of first getting it and outside of furmeets or cons? no i wouldnt want to wear it any other occasion, why? cause it'd kill the magic, why wear something as nice as a fursuit like common everyday clothes? you'd put wear and tare on it much faster.
Its not dissing a lifestyle, its knowing that real life exists and you cant just hide behind a fursuit all the time.
Its not dissing a lifestyle, its knowing that real life exists and you cant just hide behind a fursuit all the time.
ugh, I had to do this for a friend's younger brother who wanted to come out to his parents as a furry/brony and they weren't to thrilled about the idea because they watched CSI and well....we know how that goes. And I just literally was just going to him and just saying NO! BAD IDEA! Thankfully he didn't and I ran into his mom one day and we chatted. She was happy he was selling tails and stuff and making money and when I mentioned people making mascot suits for a living, she seemed ecstatic. But I left the whole furry term out of it. I just don't understand why people need to do that whole coming out thing, just live your life the way you do and if they find out, then they find out...rather than going head first and telling them and then them going online and doing their own research....which tends to end badly.
just...i don't ever understand this.
just...i don't ever understand this.
That reminds me, pie. I had a sort of coming out about being a brony lol XD not me really, my cousin was visiting me and I ended up introducing her to MLP. So she told my parents about it, and over a lunch together my mom mentioned it, I said yes to us watching it, and that was that. NOTHING more came of it XD
Most parents will probably find it a little odd but overall harmless so won't give a crap if you just watch it. If you start using 'somepony' in regular conversation and hanging scandalous fanart of Pinkie Pie up on your WALL on the other hand...
Mine a) Remember I was obsessed with the show as a kid and b) know how much I love cartoons anyway so it's not really a big deal to them. They chalk it up to nostalgia.
Mine a) Remember I was obsessed with the show as a kid and b) know how much I love cartoons anyway so it's not really a big deal to them. They chalk it up to nostalgia.
It doesn't, but I'm saying to me, it's the same deal. Just another hobby no one should give two shits about. And I don't know about the more numerous thing, or the easier to understand thing. It depends on the people really. And I've found more furries than sonic fans.
Me being a furry freaks out no one, why? Because they know who I am. I'm around friends who ask questions, but only because they know the type of person I am and are curious about the stereotypes. But I never needed to come out to anyone. I'm not doing anything that requires coming out. Furry isn't something that requires it regardless of who gets freaked out or not. I feel like, if you're a furry, and you have to explain yourself because of it, then you probably are hanging around people you shouldn't.
Me being a furry freaks out no one, why? Because they know who I am. I'm around friends who ask questions, but only because they know the type of person I am and are curious about the stereotypes. But I never needed to come out to anyone. I'm not doing anything that requires coming out. Furry isn't something that requires it regardless of who gets freaked out or not. I feel like, if you're a furry, and you have to explain yourself because of it, then you probably are hanging around people you shouldn't.
That, and I'm pretty sure your parents already know.
Seriously though, even if they don't know what "furry" is, I'm sure they'll notice their kid looking at cartoon animals on the internet all the time, wearing tails/ears/collars, collecting/making furry artwork, etc. Kids don't need to "come out" to their parents because they're parents have most likely always known their kid was into animals or cartoons (and this can be applied to any other fandom, for that matter). Why bother putting an unnecessary label on it, especially if the majority of society only knows the negative definition of said label? Unnecessary drama.
Seriously though, even if they don't know what "furry" is, I'm sure they'll notice their kid looking at cartoon animals on the internet all the time, wearing tails/ears/collars, collecting/making furry artwork, etc. Kids don't need to "come out" to their parents because they're parents have most likely always known their kid was into animals or cartoons (and this can be applied to any other fandom, for that matter). Why bother putting an unnecessary label on it, especially if the majority of society only knows the negative definition of said label? Unnecessary drama.
I mean, why would people want their parents to know? I'm pretty sure that this is one of the many things that your parents don't need to know.
There's no denying the sexual component in the fandom... this site is a big reminder for those who may have forgotten this... unless you have the content filter on. I see the reason for "coming out" as being gay; there's no way to really hide that, except by denying that you're in a relationship with the person. As for this kind of thing... why would you tell them? The specifics of your sex life is none of their concern XD
There's no denying the sexual component in the fandom... this site is a big reminder for those who may have forgotten this... unless you have the content filter on. I see the reason for "coming out" as being gay; there's no way to really hide that, except by denying that you're in a relationship with the person. As for this kind of thing... why would you tell them? The specifics of your sex life is none of their concern XD
Haha, I love the facial expressions here.
Yeah, furry is just an interest, like being a Trekkie or an otaku. It's not the equivalent of a sexual orientation, and trying to equate it with coming out of the closet is being super melodramatic. If you build it up like it's a big deal, it's gonna seem like a big deal, in a bad way. You wouldn't sit your parents down and be like, "Mom, Dad, this isn't easy, but I have something important to tell you. I like anime!" That's just ridiculous.
Great comic.
Yeah, furry is just an interest, like being a Trekkie or an otaku. It's not the equivalent of a sexual orientation, and trying to equate it with coming out of the closet is being super melodramatic. If you build it up like it's a big deal, it's gonna seem like a big deal, in a bad way. You wouldn't sit your parents down and be like, "Mom, Dad, this isn't easy, but I have something important to tell you. I like anime!" That's just ridiculous.
Great comic.
You are so damn right on. Furries, Bronies, Otaku - and whatever the hell else gets created in the next 5 years that people obsess over. I get the idea that people feel it's part of their own identity, but I feel like these people are taking something they enjoy and putting a large emphasis on it because they assume (overly in my opinion) that it will somehow come to define who they are to others, perhaps help other people understand them or relate with them better.
In truth, just freaks people the hell out. I'll never dress up in a furry costume, but it sure is fun to draw. Still, I don't brag about it to friends because it's just not worth it. Having normal conversations with normal people way outweighs my need for people to "OMG JUST UNDERSTAND I AM A UNIQUE ROSE IN A FIELD OF DAISIES, KAY." We get it. Stop shoving it in peoples faces, guys.
In truth, just freaks people the hell out. I'll never dress up in a furry costume, but it sure is fun to draw. Still, I don't brag about it to friends because it's just not worth it. Having normal conversations with normal people way outweighs my need for people to "OMG JUST UNDERSTAND I AM A UNIQUE ROSE IN A FIELD OF DAISIES, KAY." We get it. Stop shoving it in peoples faces, guys.
Sorry. I had to say something.
Brony is not a fetish. The things SOME bronies do are. I'm a brony. I don't partake in the sexual side of that fandom. Just as some furries don't partake in the sexual thing. But being a brony itself isn't a fetish.
And like the artist said, even if it was a fetish, why would you come out to your parents about your fetishes? Who goes "Mom, dad, I'm in to BDSM."
Brony is not a fetish. The things SOME bronies do are. I'm a brony. I don't partake in the sexual side of that fandom. Just as some furries don't partake in the sexual thing. But being a brony itself isn't a fetish.
And like the artist said, even if it was a fetish, why would you come out to your parents about your fetishes? Who goes "Mom, dad, I'm in to BDSM."
I would normally agree with you but I can't hear you over the sound of all the clopping...
You mean you never had that conversation before? Like not even in a causal setting? Who else would you confine in if you had a problem? If you had a problem with your marriage, would you not seek their advice? If you were gay, would you not tell them for the same reasons? Or do you just wait until they mistakenly stumble upon and have that really awkward moment about it?
You mean you never had that conversation before? Like not even in a causal setting? Who else would you confine in if you had a problem? If you had a problem with your marriage, would you not seek their advice? If you were gay, would you not tell them for the same reasons? Or do you just wait until they mistakenly stumble upon and have that really awkward moment about it?
I've had the conversation of fetish before...with the person I'm dating. No, I've never had the conversation of fetishes with my parents. If something was wrong, then I feel like it's up to me and the person I'm with to decide, or the help of a professional. If I had a problem with my marriage, of course I would seek my parents advice, but that's loads different than discussing a fetish. I fail to see the line of logic here, just because I don't share the brony or furry aspect of my life with my parents doesn't mean I don't share ANY aspect. You're taking one thing and using it to mean the extreme.
I've come out to my parents as transgender, I've also come out as bisexual before I knew what i was actually. No, I don't allow them to stumble upon those sorts of things. Of course not.
But equating FANDOMS to real life issues is what the problem is here. Being an Otaku, a brony, or a furry, are simply hobbies to me. I don't walk up to my dad every time I discover a new hobby and go "Dad, I have to tell you. I'm a comic book collector. I'm sorry." because, unlike the problems of marriage, or even fetishes or sexuality, my hobbies aren't something I necessarily feel the need to "come out" from as it's not something I'm doing wrong, or need the permission of my parents to do. Just as my dad didn't bang on his father's door to tell him he was a trekkie.
And again, not every single brony is out there clopping, just like not every single furry wears a fursuit to fuck in. That's taking one negative side of the fandom and equating it to everyone, which is fine to do, but it's not accurate.
I've come out to my parents as transgender, I've also come out as bisexual before I knew what i was actually. No, I don't allow them to stumble upon those sorts of things. Of course not.
But equating FANDOMS to real life issues is what the problem is here. Being an Otaku, a brony, or a furry, are simply hobbies to me. I don't walk up to my dad every time I discover a new hobby and go "Dad, I have to tell you. I'm a comic book collector. I'm sorry." because, unlike the problems of marriage, or even fetishes or sexuality, my hobbies aren't something I necessarily feel the need to "come out" from as it's not something I'm doing wrong, or need the permission of my parents to do. Just as my dad didn't bang on his father's door to tell him he was a trekkie.
And again, not every single brony is out there clopping, just like not every single furry wears a fursuit to fuck in. That's taking one negative side of the fandom and equating it to everyone, which is fine to do, but it's not accurate.
Why does it have to be a negative thing? Why do you find a need to separate the two groups? Should I feel shamed of what i like and hide it from others? Why can't I embrace it? why do we hide what we are and pretend no one does it?
I told my dad I was a brony and he bought be pony stuff before. You don't tell your parents what things you like doing?
Sure, not every brony is out there clopping, but then again, not every person is attracted to the shame gender either. Why should we frown upon people for being different, why not treat everyone the same regardless of what they like?
I told my dad I was a brony and he bought be pony stuff before. You don't tell your parents what things you like doing?
Sure, not every brony is out there clopping, but then again, not every person is attracted to the shame gender either. Why should we frown upon people for being different, why not treat everyone the same regardless of what they like?
It's not a negative thing, but just because it's not negative doesn't mean it has to be shared all the time.
I have no problem with sharing parts of my life with my parents. I got my fursuit and my dad was the first person to see me put it on, he's a big supporter of me creating fursuits, and he's seen my pony and sonic the hedgehog filled room.
That's not the issue.
The issue is, people seem to think that the fandom, both bronies and furries, is a fetish, or a sexuality. Something that you NEED to come out for...whatever reason. At that point, it's not simply sharing a part of your life with your family, it's sharing a part of your life that isn't that big of a deal in a way that makes it seem like you're doing something that people might look at you differently for. When I came out as transgender, I paced my room for an hour and cried every time i reached out for the door to open my dad's room. Why? Because it was something I was afraid I wouldn't be accepted for, because that's something that is in that kind of category. Furries and bronies are NOT in that category. They have their bad parts, sure, but that's the same with every fandom, every clique. Again, just because I don't find coming out to be the best thing about being either brony or furry doesn't mean I find it negative or need to hide it. If that was the case, I wouldn't be going to cons, there'd be no furry stuff in my room, and everything about it would be hidden. It's not. But it's also not something i feel I need to knock on my dad's door, tears in my eyes, to tell him I do. He knows, but I didn't need to come out to him.
I'm frowning on no one. I'm frowning on the fact that people find the NEED to "come out" with something like that. Because it says "I know this is something you'll judge me for so I'm afraid to tell you but I feel the need to because I don't want you to disown me" when it shouldn't have to be that way. People should just have their hobby without worry about having to come out about it.
I like sonic the hedgehog, my friends all know, my parents have known since i was a kid. Do I have to sit every last new friend I get down to let them know about my obsession? Nope. Will I hide it from them if the subject comes up or if I happen to be wearing one of my many sonic shirts or my trademark sonic hat? Nope.
I just don't feel the need to "come out" as hobbies aren't something one should have to "come out" for.
And about the clopping, I was merely saying that for some of us bronies, it's not about that. Which means it's a fandom, not a fetish.
I have no problem with sharing parts of my life with my parents. I got my fursuit and my dad was the first person to see me put it on, he's a big supporter of me creating fursuits, and he's seen my pony and sonic the hedgehog filled room.
That's not the issue.
The issue is, people seem to think that the fandom, both bronies and furries, is a fetish, or a sexuality. Something that you NEED to come out for...whatever reason. At that point, it's not simply sharing a part of your life with your family, it's sharing a part of your life that isn't that big of a deal in a way that makes it seem like you're doing something that people might look at you differently for. When I came out as transgender, I paced my room for an hour and cried every time i reached out for the door to open my dad's room. Why? Because it was something I was afraid I wouldn't be accepted for, because that's something that is in that kind of category. Furries and bronies are NOT in that category. They have their bad parts, sure, but that's the same with every fandom, every clique. Again, just because I don't find coming out to be the best thing about being either brony or furry doesn't mean I find it negative or need to hide it. If that was the case, I wouldn't be going to cons, there'd be no furry stuff in my room, and everything about it would be hidden. It's not. But it's also not something i feel I need to knock on my dad's door, tears in my eyes, to tell him I do. He knows, but I didn't need to come out to him.
I'm frowning on no one. I'm frowning on the fact that people find the NEED to "come out" with something like that. Because it says "I know this is something you'll judge me for so I'm afraid to tell you but I feel the need to because I don't want you to disown me" when it shouldn't have to be that way. People should just have their hobby without worry about having to come out about it.
I like sonic the hedgehog, my friends all know, my parents have known since i was a kid. Do I have to sit every last new friend I get down to let them know about my obsession? Nope. Will I hide it from them if the subject comes up or if I happen to be wearing one of my many sonic shirts or my trademark sonic hat? Nope.
I just don't feel the need to "come out" as hobbies aren't something one should have to "come out" for.
And about the clopping, I was merely saying that for some of us bronies, it's not about that. Which means it's a fandom, not a fetish.
It makes me wonder why you "come out" to your parents about being transgender? I'm sure it was hard, must of been scared, but would have their disapproval changed anything?
See, the problem is, "coming out" as a brony is not as causal as mentioning your a sonic fan or that you collect cars, because that is expected. Society places all these expectations on people and how they should behave. While your friends and family might be ok with you being a brony because they know you, people who don't know you might react differently. If a stranger who doesn't understands the hobby finds out that a grown man enjoys watching a show for little girls they are quick to pass judgement. The terms like "faggot" and "pedophile" are often used. Some people are even scared to even mention that they are bronies to their family because of how they would think. some people even got death threats for saying it. If you wear a transformer shirt, that is fine, people expect that, if you were a pony shirt, people tend to take a step back...
While I like your positive prospective that it is just another innocent hobby, the reality of the world is much more harsher. for some people it is a little harder to confess...
See, the problem is, "coming out" as a brony is not as causal as mentioning your a sonic fan or that you collect cars, because that is expected. Society places all these expectations on people and how they should behave. While your friends and family might be ok with you being a brony because they know you, people who don't know you might react differently. If a stranger who doesn't understands the hobby finds out that a grown man enjoys watching a show for little girls they are quick to pass judgement. The terms like "faggot" and "pedophile" are often used. Some people are even scared to even mention that they are bronies to their family because of how they would think. some people even got death threats for saying it. If you wear a transformer shirt, that is fine, people expect that, if you were a pony shirt, people tend to take a step back...
While I like your positive prospective that it is just another innocent hobby, the reality of the world is much more harsher. for some people it is a little harder to confess...
And again, I still don't see the point. If the world is harsher, WHY confess? And coming out generally involves one's family. It's a hobby. So if anyone, even strangers, happen to pass judgement on someone's hobby, then frankly, they're not people worth being around to begin with. It's a hobby, just because it has negative stereotypes doesn't make it any less so.
And why wouldn't I? First you ask me if I would hide that fact, because to me, being a brony and one's sexuality are WORLDS apart, but then you question when I said that I didn't? What reason would your logic would have said for hiding it? since that was the initial implication?
Just like you said before, it'd be wrong if my parents suddenly found out that WHOOPS i'm a guy, without warning, but again, this is comparing apples to oranges. If I don't let my dad in on every single hobby I have, there'd be no negative implications of doing so. Because it's just a hobby. Just like i sit down and watch some television shows he doesn't happen to like. It's just that. But sexuality, marriage, and all those types of problems are an entirely different thing and the problem is people are trying to make them two different things.
The simple fact that you're pandering to the negitivity placed on any fandom by society by going "Hey random stranger, you might think this is wrong, and you might not give two shits about what I have to do, but I'm going to tell you anyway" is another silly notion. Now not only are you doing something unneccesary to those that you care about, now it's about telling random strangers your hobbies so they don't pass judgement? I'd like to think the guy down the street would actually give that much of a shit, but even if he did, even if he chose to judge me based on something small and insignificant, is that really someone I really care to come out to?
It's not something to confess! If it's a fetish, then you shouldn't really be going around telling everyone and their grandma. It's a keep it to yourselfer or the person you're with. I don't want random dude coming up to me and going "Hey! I like my nipples to be twisted while I do someone doggy style. Don't judge me" and I fail to see why every single aspect of someone's life has to be shouted to the world. It doesn't necessarily have to be hidden, but it doesn't have to be shoved down people's throats either.
And why wouldn't I? First you ask me if I would hide that fact, because to me, being a brony and one's sexuality are WORLDS apart, but then you question when I said that I didn't? What reason would your logic would have said for hiding it? since that was the initial implication?
Just like you said before, it'd be wrong if my parents suddenly found out that WHOOPS i'm a guy, without warning, but again, this is comparing apples to oranges. If I don't let my dad in on every single hobby I have, there'd be no negative implications of doing so. Because it's just a hobby. Just like i sit down and watch some television shows he doesn't happen to like. It's just that. But sexuality, marriage, and all those types of problems are an entirely different thing and the problem is people are trying to make them two different things.
The simple fact that you're pandering to the negitivity placed on any fandom by society by going "Hey random stranger, you might think this is wrong, and you might not give two shits about what I have to do, but I'm going to tell you anyway" is another silly notion. Now not only are you doing something unneccesary to those that you care about, now it's about telling random strangers your hobbies so they don't pass judgement? I'd like to think the guy down the street would actually give that much of a shit, but even if he did, even if he chose to judge me based on something small and insignificant, is that really someone I really care to come out to?
It's not something to confess! If it's a fetish, then you shouldn't really be going around telling everyone and their grandma. It's a keep it to yourselfer or the person you're with. I don't want random dude coming up to me and going "Hey! I like my nipples to be twisted while I do someone doggy style. Don't judge me" and I fail to see why every single aspect of someone's life has to be shouted to the world. It doesn't necessarily have to be hidden, but it doesn't have to be shoved down people's throats either.
Just like you said before, it'd be wrong if my parents suddenly found out that WHOOPS i'm a guy, without warning
Why? Wat difference would that have made?
Sure, you don't have to tell everyone on the internet that your transgender, you can keep that to yourself, why even bring it up in the first place, why not hide it? Would that make their hatred any less painful? Why should we hide what we are?
Their are people who changed their names to that of ponies. There are some who are trying to legally marry those ponies. What if it is more then a hobby for some? What if people are sexuality attracted to ponies? Should they hide their sexuality? Or do you believe sexuality is a choice?
If someone's going to beat your ass for being gay, what the crap does coming out do to change that? You'd just be confirming the ass whooping.... Isn't it strange? Once we are in the same position, we become the monsters that we feared... Maybe we are all monsters on the insdie.
Why? Wat difference would that have made?
Sure, you don't have to tell everyone on the internet that your transgender, you can keep that to yourself, why even bring it up in the first place, why not hide it? Would that make their hatred any less painful? Why should we hide what we are?
Their are people who changed their names to that of ponies. There are some who are trying to legally marry those ponies. What if it is more then a hobby for some? What if people are sexuality attracted to ponies? Should they hide their sexuality? Or do you believe sexuality is a choice?
If someone's going to beat your ass for being gay, what the crap does coming out do to change that? You'd just be confirming the ass whooping.... Isn't it strange? Once we are in the same position, we become the monsters that we feared... Maybe we are all monsters on the insdie.
It wouldn't have changed my mind about transitioning no, but it's out of simple respect at that point. I don't want to surprise them, because I know how big of a surprise that can be. You can't sit here and tell me that scenario wouldn't be unnerving to some people? That scenario alone is enough of a reason to come out for something like that to your friends and family. But fandoms on the other hand don't have that type of reaction. If my dad suddenly came in my room and discovered I was really into powerpuff girls and I hadn't told him, it wouldn't be a mental shock to him. He'd go about his business because it's just a hobby.
And again, I'm not saying to hide it. You keep taking my lack of having to make it a big deal, for hiding it completely. That's not what I'm saying at all. No one should hide who they are, but people seem to think the same way you do, that keeping some things not that big of a deal, or having it come up in conversation, or any other natural way you'd find out about a friend's hobbies means you have to hide who you are.
You don't.
But just as you don't know your next door neighbor's kinks, or the guy down the street, people shouldn't have to be forced to hear yours or every aspect of your life. No, you don't have to hide it. You dont' have to put away your furry shirts or your pony shirts. No, you don't have to act like you don't like the show if it comes up in conversation. But you also don't have to shout it to the world every single time you get a new thing that rocks your boat. Why? Because just as much as it's respectful to keep your friends and family in the loop for SOME things, it's just as respectful to keep your kinks and such to yourself for the sake of those of us who don't know you and don't need to know that much about you.
If someone was going to beat my ass for being gay, and I knew that this person would do so, then that's not who I'd come out to. Yes, it sucks to have to hide some things, but to just shout it to the world gung ho like that doesn't have to ALWAYS be a thing. I can walk away from that situation, if me telling this person would cause harm to my being. That's what I'm talking about. Restraint. Know what to say and what not to say and when and where it's appropriate to do so. That's what's missing in a lot of people's mindsets, a lot of which I see in the furry community. The absolutely undying NEED for everyone to know everything about them regardless of whether or not the other person cares. To me, that's just as bad as shoving something down someone's throat. Especially if it's a hobby.
If you want to legally marry a fictional pony, I'm sorry, but that's something else entirely...and I feel like you're taking something wayy too seriously. I'm pretty sure you're going to say something along the lines of frowning on it, but so be it. I think that's taking something that's a fandom, something fictional too far.
If people are sexually attracted to ponies, then that's beastiality, and again, the brony fandom, if we're talking about coming out AS A BRONY isn't all about that. If I were to find that coming out wasn't something ridiculous, and I did so, that part of the fandom wouldn't pertain to me. Just as things in this fandom don't pertain to me. The fandom as a whole isn't just the naughty bits and the sexual parts.
So if you're attracted to the ponies, I'm pretty sure it'd be best if you came out as a zoophile...not a brony. You can say you are a brony, but to say that's what being a brony is would just be further perpetuating bad stereotypes, those reasons people probably feel the need to find acceptance within society whether or not it will benefit them or not, and would defeat the purpose.
You don't come out to prevent violence. You don't come out to prevent judgement. You come out to let your friends and families know something that IS a big deal simply out of respect. I just feel like sexuality and fandoms are two different things, fandoms being something as insignificant as what types of underpants you like. It doesn't necessarily have to be hidden, but you don't have to constantly be sharing it with every single person you encounter. You shouldn't have to seek validation for a fandom. Especially not from a bunch of strangers.
And again, I'm not saying to hide it. You keep taking my lack of having to make it a big deal, for hiding it completely. That's not what I'm saying at all. No one should hide who they are, but people seem to think the same way you do, that keeping some things not that big of a deal, or having it come up in conversation, or any other natural way you'd find out about a friend's hobbies means you have to hide who you are.
You don't.
But just as you don't know your next door neighbor's kinks, or the guy down the street, people shouldn't have to be forced to hear yours or every aspect of your life. No, you don't have to hide it. You dont' have to put away your furry shirts or your pony shirts. No, you don't have to act like you don't like the show if it comes up in conversation. But you also don't have to shout it to the world every single time you get a new thing that rocks your boat. Why? Because just as much as it's respectful to keep your friends and family in the loop for SOME things, it's just as respectful to keep your kinks and such to yourself for the sake of those of us who don't know you and don't need to know that much about you.
If someone was going to beat my ass for being gay, and I knew that this person would do so, then that's not who I'd come out to. Yes, it sucks to have to hide some things, but to just shout it to the world gung ho like that doesn't have to ALWAYS be a thing. I can walk away from that situation, if me telling this person would cause harm to my being. That's what I'm talking about. Restraint. Know what to say and what not to say and when and where it's appropriate to do so. That's what's missing in a lot of people's mindsets, a lot of which I see in the furry community. The absolutely undying NEED for everyone to know everything about them regardless of whether or not the other person cares. To me, that's just as bad as shoving something down someone's throat. Especially if it's a hobby.
If you want to legally marry a fictional pony, I'm sorry, but that's something else entirely...and I feel like you're taking something wayy too seriously. I'm pretty sure you're going to say something along the lines of frowning on it, but so be it. I think that's taking something that's a fandom, something fictional too far.
If people are sexually attracted to ponies, then that's beastiality, and again, the brony fandom, if we're talking about coming out AS A BRONY isn't all about that. If I were to find that coming out wasn't something ridiculous, and I did so, that part of the fandom wouldn't pertain to me. Just as things in this fandom don't pertain to me. The fandom as a whole isn't just the naughty bits and the sexual parts.
So if you're attracted to the ponies, I'm pretty sure it'd be best if you came out as a zoophile...not a brony. You can say you are a brony, but to say that's what being a brony is would just be further perpetuating bad stereotypes, those reasons people probably feel the need to find acceptance within society whether or not it will benefit them or not, and would defeat the purpose.
You don't come out to prevent violence. You don't come out to prevent judgement. You come out to let your friends and families know something that IS a big deal simply out of respect. I just feel like sexuality and fandoms are two different things, fandoms being something as insignificant as what types of underpants you like. It doesn't necessarily have to be hidden, but you don't have to constantly be sharing it with every single person you encounter. You shouldn't have to seek validation for a fandom. Especially not from a bunch of strangers.
Oh! dangit...I need to collect my thoughts.
Again, if it's a kink, if it's something sexual, you dont' have to hide every single part of me, but even my best friends don't know what little kinks I'm into unless it happened to come up in conversation, or I jokingly mentioned it.
There are just some things we should keep in our pants and in the bedroom. Not everyone should have to be alerted to something that might make them uncomfortable for the sake of you trying to let your freak flag fly.
Again, if it's a kink, if it's something sexual, you dont' have to hide every single part of me, but even my best friends don't know what little kinks I'm into unless it happened to come up in conversation, or I jokingly mentioned it.
There are just some things we should keep in our pants and in the bedroom. Not everyone should have to be alerted to something that might make them uncomfortable for the sake of you trying to let your freak flag fly.
I do respect your option. What you think is serious or silly might be completely different then what someone else thinks. I think that becomes the problem, we start passing judgement in society about right and wrong, not on whether they are good or bad, but rather our own personal views toward them. At that point it becomes a rather bias system.
Is someone being uncomfortable about something justices it not being allowed to be publicly known?
Nudity makes people feel uncomfortable, so we wear clothes in public.
Swearing makes people feel uncomfortable, so forbid it on public shows.
Sex makes people feel uncomfortable, so we ban public viewing of it.
But what if gays make people feel uncomfortable? How do we make it so people feel more comfortable around it?
What if someone doesn't feel uncomfortable around certain races? How do we hide that from the public?
What if certain facts make people uncomfortable? How do we ban the truth?
How do we allow people to express themselves with out shoving it into people's faces?
How do we get people to get along?
You might think someone coming about about a hobby to their family is silly, but they might take it seriously. You might think coming out to your family was serious, but someone else might not care about it.
The point is, who are we to judge how other people feel and react to certain things?
Is someone being uncomfortable about something justices it not being allowed to be publicly known?
Nudity makes people feel uncomfortable, so we wear clothes in public.
Swearing makes people feel uncomfortable, so forbid it on public shows.
Sex makes people feel uncomfortable, so we ban public viewing of it.
But what if gays make people feel uncomfortable? How do we make it so people feel more comfortable around it?
What if someone doesn't feel uncomfortable around certain races? How do we hide that from the public?
What if certain facts make people uncomfortable? How do we ban the truth?
How do we allow people to express themselves with out shoving it into people's faces?
How do we get people to get along?
You might think someone coming about about a hobby to their family is silly, but they might take it seriously. You might think coming out to your family was serious, but someone else might not care about it.
The point is, who are we to judge how other people feel and react to certain things?
I've been reading your discussion and have been thinking, "what if furries were never that big a deal anyway, but some of what exist in furry just isn't what you bring up in polite conversation"? Because I get the feeling that this is what aoki_chuichi22 is trying to say here.
Like her I really don't see what the fuss is about, and have never had any issue explaining furry stuff if someone confronts me about it. True, it's something I devote alot of time to, but I still feel no need to involve everyone in all that. I put it on par with being a MMORPG gamer. Not everyone understands it. Some think it's childish and a waste of time, but you know what, that's totally cool with me. They have a fair point too, because I'm not perfect, and I don't cry when others point that out either.
I don't particularly like furries that are way into all this and WANT it to be a very big deal when it's not. It's some sort of persecution complex. What do you do when you are white middle class person who don't really belong in any persecuted sexual or ethnic minority? Well, you amp up your geeky subculture to a lifestyle so that anyone who raises an eyebrow to your behavior may be disregarded as an oppressive xenophobe. Perfect for those who can't handle personal critique.
You can also forget about your class and/or white privilege and picture yourself as an oppressed minority which is also convenient. No need to feel guilty about anything you do or fail to do when you are opressed by society.
I hate that mentality, and for me, it's brutally obvious that this is what many lifestylers do, regardless if they know it or not.
These guys probably don't like me either as I treat the furry convention as any party and bring a large bunch of like minded people. I wear a dogsuit because it's hilarious and because I'm an extrovert, but I don't see it like much more than whatever fringe styles found at hot topic.
Most furries agree though that conventions have become a lot better since the influx of casual fans, people who hold no doubt in their mind about being normal.
But for a few bitter neckbeards, we are stealing the shelter and hugbox which says "everyone is automatically accepted and included here regardless of your behavior, because we are all opressed".
(PS. I make an exception for people with mental handicaps, who cannot make the separation between everyday life and furry life. These guys deserve some more leeway, but more often than not they already have it, on virtue of being handicapped, that is).
Like her I really don't see what the fuss is about, and have never had any issue explaining furry stuff if someone confronts me about it. True, it's something I devote alot of time to, but I still feel no need to involve everyone in all that. I put it on par with being a MMORPG gamer. Not everyone understands it. Some think it's childish and a waste of time, but you know what, that's totally cool with me. They have a fair point too, because I'm not perfect, and I don't cry when others point that out either.
I don't particularly like furries that are way into all this and WANT it to be a very big deal when it's not. It's some sort of persecution complex. What do you do when you are white middle class person who don't really belong in any persecuted sexual or ethnic minority? Well, you amp up your geeky subculture to a lifestyle so that anyone who raises an eyebrow to your behavior may be disregarded as an oppressive xenophobe. Perfect for those who can't handle personal critique.
You can also forget about your class and/or white privilege and picture yourself as an oppressed minority which is also convenient. No need to feel guilty about anything you do or fail to do when you are opressed by society.
I hate that mentality, and for me, it's brutally obvious that this is what many lifestylers do, regardless if they know it or not.
These guys probably don't like me either as I treat the furry convention as any party and bring a large bunch of like minded people. I wear a dogsuit because it's hilarious and because I'm an extrovert, but I don't see it like much more than whatever fringe styles found at hot topic.
Most furries agree though that conventions have become a lot better since the influx of casual fans, people who hold no doubt in their mind about being normal.
But for a few bitter neckbeards, we are stealing the shelter and hugbox which says "everyone is automatically accepted and included here regardless of your behavior, because we are all opressed".
(PS. I make an exception for people with mental handicaps, who cannot make the separation between everyday life and furry life. These guys deserve some more leeway, but more often than not they already have it, on virtue of being handicapped, that is).
I wonder why some feel it's a big deal to talk about... I can understand people who don't, I can causally mention it to my friends, but others find it harder to do so. Maybe they are seeking acceptance for what they like and fear rejection from their peers? That could be a reason some feel the need to come out about it...
I don't care if people take it serious or not, but I'm not going to belittle some one who does...
I don't care if people take it serious or not, but I'm not going to belittle some one who does...
Wow, hot topic is hot. Anyway, I say if they're still a teen they should just do as mostly suggested, keep it to themselves, since you never know if something will happen to make them drift away from the fandom. I see this topic though, and I just keep having thoughts of what 2 The Ranting Gryphon said during a show, so, yeah. I keep going to odd, silly, and crazy idea's on this topic.
When I was a young and stupid boy, I found the fandom and became very confused, and thought it was some inescapable lifestyle, that I was destined and bonded into. It didn't help that my introduction to the fandom was MTV's Sex2k special on Furries, but in any case I ended up coming out to my best friend about it. Then a few months later I came out to him as a bisexual, and it really put everything into perspective.
Now my parents only really have a vague idea as to what I'm up to when I draw furry art or go to furry conventions, but I think it's silly to burden them with my personal fetishes.
So I can really admit to being on both sides of this thought process at one time and then another.
Now my parents only really have a vague idea as to what I'm up to when I draw furry art or go to furry conventions, but I think it's silly to burden them with my personal fetishes.
So I can really admit to being on both sides of this thought process at one time and then another.
never saw why this was an issue for people honestly.
I draw anthro animals, people look at my sketchpads all the time, see cartoony schtick. I don't have to explain the fandom. My folks think it's a kickass talent and never had issue with it. *shrugs*
Far as anyones concerned, there have been cartoons out there for years depicting talking animals. Long as "we" as furs don't go over the top and embarrass ourselves by doing stupid shit like "we" are unfortunately prone to doing, we're just a community of people who were influenced by years of cartoons and want to emulate it.
I draw anthro animals, people look at my sketchpads all the time, see cartoony schtick. I don't have to explain the fandom. My folks think it's a kickass talent and never had issue with it. *shrugs*
Far as anyones concerned, there have been cartoons out there for years depicting talking animals. Long as "we" as furs don't go over the top and embarrass ourselves by doing stupid shit like "we" are unfortunately prone to doing, we're just a community of people who were influenced by years of cartoons and want to emulate it.
I think they disabled the feature where you can view how all of your stats break down aside from just how many watchers you have, but when that was there, you were ranked #1 in receiving comments.
(And I was somewhere in the top 100, I think, in terms of giving comments. Explains why people say they "see me everywhere" so often.)
(And I was somewhere in the top 100, I think, in terms of giving comments. Explains why people say they "see me everywhere" so often.)
It's easy to understand, really.
By being part of something that requires a less than conventional distribution of feelings and thought processes, in a free society, you are as good as authentically "different", "unique", and more importantly, valid as a culture. Being a furry that way crosses some borders into a sexual orientation and/or a religion, without being near enough to either to really have any of either's validity. They WANT their "struggle" to be as authentic, life changing and development validating as a homosexual hiding their orientation in the face of being booted out of the suburbs and victimized, and they want their little culture to have the badge of honor of being persecuted and wronged.
So by walking around with it on their minds, on their sleeves, trying to artificially give themselves identity by pumping significance into this shared delusion, they are in effect bolstering eachothers legitimacy. One person in a cow suit fucking a plushy is just a lone nut. An entire lobby full of people doing the same thing, you have a community. And if you're a human, you're only "wrong" if you are judged by a jury of your PEERS and found odd. Among your population, if something is common, it is normal and presumably healthy. They want what they do, say and think to be a valid minority and not just an individual aberrance, so they try as hard as possible to imagine they're part of the collective.
Announcing being a furry to people is to 'come out.' Next they'll expect to walk around wearing cat ears or punctuating/particulating every sentence with cat sounds, or engaging in "animalistic" behavior to be cute. If anybody complains, it magically becomes THEM being insensitive to your CULTURE. There's a private little button in their heads that finds delight on this paradoxical relationship, where they can be idiots but other people are at risk of punishment for resisting it. To their minds, they're not being assholes or melodramatic weirdos, they're being persecuted for their CHOICES and FEELINGS and how prejudice!
and this phenomenon is exemplified fantastically in diaper furries. :)
By being part of something that requires a less than conventional distribution of feelings and thought processes, in a free society, you are as good as authentically "different", "unique", and more importantly, valid as a culture. Being a furry that way crosses some borders into a sexual orientation and/or a religion, without being near enough to either to really have any of either's validity. They WANT their "struggle" to be as authentic, life changing and development validating as a homosexual hiding their orientation in the face of being booted out of the suburbs and victimized, and they want their little culture to have the badge of honor of being persecuted and wronged.
So by walking around with it on their minds, on their sleeves, trying to artificially give themselves identity by pumping significance into this shared delusion, they are in effect bolstering eachothers legitimacy. One person in a cow suit fucking a plushy is just a lone nut. An entire lobby full of people doing the same thing, you have a community. And if you're a human, you're only "wrong" if you are judged by a jury of your PEERS and found odd. Among your population, if something is common, it is normal and presumably healthy. They want what they do, say and think to be a valid minority and not just an individual aberrance, so they try as hard as possible to imagine they're part of the collective.
Announcing being a furry to people is to 'come out.' Next they'll expect to walk around wearing cat ears or punctuating/particulating every sentence with cat sounds, or engaging in "animalistic" behavior to be cute. If anybody complains, it magically becomes THEM being insensitive to your CULTURE. There's a private little button in their heads that finds delight on this paradoxical relationship, where they can be idiots but other people are at risk of punishment for resisting it. To their minds, they're not being assholes or melodramatic weirdos, they're being persecuted for their CHOICES and FEELINGS and how prejudice!
and this phenomenon is exemplified fantastically in diaper furries. :)
Yeah, that right about sums it up right there.
And about:
"They want what they do, say and think to be a valid minority and not just an individual aberrance, so they try as hard as possible to imagine they're part of the collective."
I know what sort of very awkward and/or weird people you're talking about. They can't really stand up for themselves and are generally paranoid about conflict and critisism. So they hope that the fandom will shield them.
However, it doesn't matter how many decent people latch on to this furry thing nowadays. It still doesn't help them to look any better.
And about:
"They want what they do, say and think to be a valid minority and not just an individual aberrance, so they try as hard as possible to imagine they're part of the collective."
I know what sort of very awkward and/or weird people you're talking about. They can't really stand up for themselves and are generally paranoid about conflict and critisism. So they hope that the fandom will shield them.
However, it doesn't matter how many decent people latch on to this furry thing nowadays. It still doesn't help them to look any better.
ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO DIRECT THIS VIDEO TO PEEPS EXPLAINING THE FURRY FANDOM :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zbb9CqmhT8k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zbb9CqmhT8k
I don't think you need to tell your parents anything about what you do with your life, I find it weird that people even need to tell their parents they're gay, it's basically saying "mum, dad...men give me boners" and that would be awkward for any parent or person...I personally couldn't care less what gives people boners (unless it's like...illegal then yeah).
If you end up having an important person in your life and they just so happen to be of the same gender, it will probably be vital to come out as gay, yeah. It's not about "what gives people boners", but also a great deal about intimacy. Homosexuality is essentially a lifestyle in that sense. Furry is not, because people aren't going to see the "furry" part necessarily, and even if they do, it's as easy as saying "I like walking talking animal people concepts" and that's that. No need to go into specific fetishes and fantasies, your parents shouldn't care about that for the reasons Pie mentioned.
I'm gonna go with the unpopular opinion and say it's an important thing to do.
But only in certain cases. For example if you are a lifestyler or furry spiritualist. Many of the furs here are of the type that can choose to "not be furry" when they wish. But for some the fandom is more a part of their identity or life.
But this is a very case by case basis.
But only in certain cases. For example if you are a lifestyler or furry spiritualist. Many of the furs here are of the type that can choose to "not be furry" when they wish. But for some the fandom is more a part of their identity or life.
But this is a very case by case basis.
I agree with this statement. i dont know about most of you, but many people view their fursona's as almost like a personal spirit animal or alternate identity. I know that i go by my fursona's name much more often than my real name. it isn't some sort of sexual fetish to them, so that isn't what they would be "coming out" for.
But that's true.
If it's a fetish, then your parents don't need to be knowing that. I wouldn't tell my mom all my kinks. That's just weird.
And if it's a lifestyle, then some people, I think we can both agree, take what is a hobby wayy too seriously. They turn it into this big deal when it really doesn't need to be. I feel like the fact people come out and make it such a big deal is part of the reason people have such a bad taste in their mouths. They're taking something simple and trying to let everyone know about it as if they should know about it. They really don't.
If it's a fetish, then your parents don't need to be knowing that. I wouldn't tell my mom all my kinks. That's just weird.
And if it's a lifestyle, then some people, I think we can both agree, take what is a hobby wayy too seriously. They turn it into this big deal when it really doesn't need to be. I feel like the fact people come out and make it such a big deal is part of the reason people have such a bad taste in their mouths. They're taking something simple and trying to let everyone know about it as if they should know about it. They really don't.
He did have a very harsh way of saying it, I'll agree. But I wonder, what makes furry a lifestyle for not just you, but anybody? Why is it something that you wish everyone to know? Is it for validation or vindication of some kind, because I honestly -can- relate to that feeling of just wanting to be accepted entirely for who I am, including the much MUCH less mainstream stuff. But the thing is, you -can't- make everyone agree with or even tolerate it, and it many ways it's not the kind of thing that people are ready for. And should it be? I'm not saying you should keep it all bottled in, but does it need to be told to the entire world, either?
Also, with such a bad reputation that the fandom has been getting (noticing a lot of malevolence and people enjoying characters in agony lately, for example), sometimes it's good to be as introspective as possible. How important is the fandom to you compared to everything else? Is it the sole thing you identify as? I'm not saying that's automatically a bad thing, but I feel someone is selling themselves short if they mostly identify by an easily exploitable and wide definition that many people are still very uncomfortable with.
That being said, I don't necessarily see "furry lifestyle" as being bad, but there are healthy ways to go about it and unhealthy ways, and most examples we see in the fandom are rather unhealthy. It's sad but true.
I hope anything I said here helps you out somehow. :)
Also, with such a bad reputation that the fandom has been getting (noticing a lot of malevolence and people enjoying characters in agony lately, for example), sometimes it's good to be as introspective as possible. How important is the fandom to you compared to everything else? Is it the sole thing you identify as? I'm not saying that's automatically a bad thing, but I feel someone is selling themselves short if they mostly identify by an easily exploitable and wide definition that many people are still very uncomfortable with.
That being said, I don't necessarily see "furry lifestyle" as being bad, but there are healthy ways to go about it and unhealthy ways, and most examples we see in the fandom are rather unhealthy. It's sad but true.
I hope anything I said here helps you out somehow. :)
I don't even get the rug thing. If you were to present me with the expression out of context and ask me what I think it means, I'd guess that it's what they jokingly call it when someone everyone already knows is gay comes out. Because if you're trying to hide under a rug, everybody already knows you're there and is probably laughing at you for being so foolish.
The level of over-wrought emotional investment in all of this makes me so sad. That there are people who have so little life that they would latch onto some trifling artifact and make it not merely a source of entertainment but a defining aspect of their life, turning it into fetish or fanaticism.
See, me personally, I only told my mom because I -wanted- to, not because I felt I -have- to. Then again, we have a really close relationship, so I literally tell her everything that's goin' on with me. XD
But the people who consider it a "lifestyle" are just taking the fan-dumb waaaaay too "supr srs". We're faving/drawing people-animals, watching things that have people-animals in them, and(or) wearing people-animal costumes. This is not an orientation. If it was, then I guess Trekkies and Otakus and Bronies are an orientation, too, derpty-derp! =B
But the people who consider it a "lifestyle" are just taking the fan-dumb waaaaay too "supr srs". We're faving/drawing people-animals, watching things that have people-animals in them, and(or) wearing people-animal costumes. This is not an orientation. If it was, then I guess Trekkies and Otakus and Bronies are an orientation, too, derpty-derp! =B
I could see it in some situations. People in general tend to have this outlook that "If they hide it from me, it must be bad in some way," and, for parents, the protective instinct kicks in. They investigate, rather understandably, and could jump to conclusions when they start finding the more controversial sections of the fandom (babyfurs, gore, etc.).
So, if there's a likelihood of parents finding out (e.g., young people very involved in the fandom), it might be best to tell them out-right. That way you still have the upper hand of explaining things from your perspective.
So, if there's a likelihood of parents finding out (e.g., young people very involved in the fandom), it might be best to tell them out-right. That way you still have the upper hand of explaining things from your perspective.
Gore doesn't seem controversial anymore... unfortunately. I see tons of dark gritty stuff of characters in absolute agony on a daily basis in my submissions updates, and those seem to be picking up in popularity. Or maybe they're just more popular with the younger teenage crowds that have been joining the fandom in droves lately.
Pretty much the kind of thing that makes me worry about a fandom that I thought was founded on love and respect. There's only so much I can "tolerate" until I'm essentially being told I should respect what amounts to rape fantasies. But if I speak out against that, suddenly I'm not very tolerant? :p
Pretty much the kind of thing that makes me worry about a fandom that I thought was founded on love and respect. There's only so much I can "tolerate" until I'm essentially being told I should respect what amounts to rape fantasies. But if I speak out against that, suddenly I'm not very tolerant? :p
It's all pretty relative. What's acceptable for furries could probably freak a parent out. Similarly, what's acceptable in some circles of the fandom, isn't in others.
Respect and tolerance are funny things. You shouldn't have to respect <topic> in any shape or form; however, you should respect their right to safe avenues for <topic>. If someone could get hurt, then there's no reason to be tolerant. Otherwise, you're more likely to hurt someone.
Respect and tolerance are funny things. You shouldn't have to respect <topic> in any shape or form; however, you should respect their right to safe avenues for <topic>. If someone could get hurt, then there's no reason to be tolerant. Otherwise, you're more likely to hurt someone.
My parents found out because I accidentally left some furry porn I'd drawn on a friend's dad's Jet Ski at the tender age of eleven.
Wait...no I was home when the phone call came in and handled it without anyone ever finding out, lol!
I dunno; the whole 'furry' thing is a spectrum, just like everything else in human society. There is no clear demarcation where one facet begins and another ends. Yeah, I draw furry. Prefer human though because hey, guess what: Humans are real and you can fuck em!! Though I will say, the folks who dress up in fursuits and hump each other is a little funky, but so is bondage. Whocares; it's just not for me.
Parents don't need to know unless you're bringing the dog home for the Holidays as your fiance and that's not technically even 'furry'; that's Bestiality. Say you're gong to a furcon because your fave fantasy artist will be there. Make some shit up. *shrug*
I will say, though, if anyone has parents like mine, they have absolutely no respect for privacy, or at least my mom doesn't. Came into my room on a regular basis and rummaged around. Confiscated my best hentai mags, along with any and all written or drawn smut she could find, god dammit!!
But I still didn't have to explain myself...hmm...
Wait...no I was home when the phone call came in and handled it without anyone ever finding out, lol!
I dunno; the whole 'furry' thing is a spectrum, just like everything else in human society. There is no clear demarcation where one facet begins and another ends. Yeah, I draw furry. Prefer human though because hey, guess what: Humans are real and you can fuck em!! Though I will say, the folks who dress up in fursuits and hump each other is a little funky, but so is bondage. Whocares; it's just not for me.
Parents don't need to know unless you're bringing the dog home for the Holidays as your fiance and that's not technically even 'furry'; that's Bestiality. Say you're gong to a furcon because your fave fantasy artist will be there. Make some shit up. *shrug*
I will say, though, if anyone has parents like mine, they have absolutely no respect for privacy, or at least my mom doesn't. Came into my room on a regular basis and rummaged around. Confiscated my best hentai mags, along with any and all written or drawn smut she could find, god dammit!!
But I still didn't have to explain myself...hmm...
I'm not sure why it's a big thing, one day mum wondered where I met my friends I just told her what a furry was in a non-yiffy manner, that was it. If you want to tell your parents because you're getting a fursuit or something which might generate questions, that's fine, but there's no dire need to explain your fetishes or work it up into a huge lifechanging decision.
Granted, it's usually young teens who are perhaps taking the whole furry thing a little toooo dramatically, but it still kind of boggles my mind. I kind of put furry on par with being an otaku or being into model trains or something so it's kind of like "If your parents are going to have a cow about it there's no real reason to tell them. Cons will still be there when you're old enough to not need their permission."
Hmm. A part of me wonders if you've forgotten what it's like to be that age. The point is that it's something that's important to them, and they're afraid of their parents' reaction to it, but also feel it's important to assert themselves as this being 'Something they like' - like otaku, model trains, etc.
Many who say this don't see furry as a fetish either. They are however afraid their parents do.
Hmm. A part of me wonders if you've forgotten what it's like to be that age. The point is that it's something that's important to them, and they're afraid of their parents' reaction to it, but also feel it's important to assert themselves as this being 'Something they like' - like otaku, model trains, etc.
Many who say this don't see furry as a fetish either. They are however afraid their parents do.
You know how I "came out" as a furry?
"Hey, Mom. Did you ever think about walking talking animal people? I think they're pretty cool."
WHY IS THAT SO FREAKING DIFFICULT TO DO? Maybe it's because it's not really a lifestyle to me but just a hobby, but I never understood this whole "omigosh it's gonna be so agonizingly difficult to describe my weird fetishes to my parents!" when that has -NEVER- been necessary in the history of the world for anybody. :p
"Hey, Mom. Did you ever think about walking talking animal people? I think they're pretty cool."
WHY IS THAT SO FREAKING DIFFICULT TO DO? Maybe it's because it's not really a lifestyle to me but just a hobby, but I never understood this whole "omigosh it's gonna be so agonizingly difficult to describe my weird fetishes to my parents!" when that has -NEVER- been necessary in the history of the world for anybody. :p
Agreed, hard. I think a lot of people equate being a furry with a sexuality, and that's nutttttyyy!
In my honest opinion, people are spending a lot of time figuring themselves out in terms of interests, fetishes, and sexuality and they all get conflated.
"Mom, dad... I'm a.... CHEF. I LOVE COOKING, IT'S WHO I AM. ;A;"
In my honest opinion, people are spending a lot of time figuring themselves out in terms of interests, fetishes, and sexuality and they all get conflated.
"Mom, dad... I'm a.... CHEF. I LOVE COOKING, IT'S WHO I AM. ;A;"
I honestly don't really understand the concept of identifying as a furry.
It's just.. weird to me, and I can't understand. I like anthro characters and animals and junk. I like human characters and anime and video games etcetcetc.
I don't see how that's... an identity. They are things I enjoy.
What does it even mean to be a furry for those who consider themselves one???
Cuz I feel like if I ever was like 'hey mom/dad/random stranger, im a furry!' theyd just think 'someone who thinks theyre an animal and wears fursuits all the time and says murrr and uses animal words when referring to other people and fetishizes animals' etc
Instead of 'oh so you enjoy anthromorphic animal art'
Any people I met IRL that openly exclaimed they were furries (mind you, in like.. the first ever time i talked to them) were just kinda... uhhh I dunno.
Had one guy who knew one of my friends go up to me all 'hi im a furry! im a wolf, so i wear a dog collar'
then after a small amount of chitchat when I went to leave, he quickly hugged me yelling 'wolfhug!'
I've had other similar experiences with people who just went and annoucned they were furry to me despite not knowing anything about me, and ehhhhhh I honestly don't understand the mentality behind it?
Mind you I've also met other 'furries' who were like 'oh hey youre drawing something thats cool wanna see some of my drawings/art i like/etc'
Who just treated it as an area of interest they were passionate about, not some lifestyle thing
I'm not saying there's anything wrong or more righgt about either type of person, it's just
bizarre to me and I don't understand it at all ahh
It's just.. weird to me, and I can't understand. I like anthro characters and animals and junk. I like human characters and anime and video games etcetcetc.
I don't see how that's... an identity. They are things I enjoy.
What does it even mean to be a furry for those who consider themselves one???
Cuz I feel like if I ever was like 'hey mom/dad/random stranger, im a furry!' theyd just think 'someone who thinks theyre an animal and wears fursuits all the time and says murrr and uses animal words when referring to other people and fetishizes animals' etc
Instead of 'oh so you enjoy anthromorphic animal art'
Any people I met IRL that openly exclaimed they were furries (mind you, in like.. the first ever time i talked to them) were just kinda... uhhh I dunno.
Had one guy who knew one of my friends go up to me all 'hi im a furry! im a wolf, so i wear a dog collar'
then after a small amount of chitchat when I went to leave, he quickly hugged me yelling 'wolfhug!'
I've had other similar experiences with people who just went and annoucned they were furry to me despite not knowing anything about me, and ehhhhhh I honestly don't understand the mentality behind it?
Mind you I've also met other 'furries' who were like 'oh hey youre drawing something thats cool wanna see some of my drawings/art i like/etc'
Who just treated it as an area of interest they were passionate about, not some lifestyle thing
I'm not saying there's anything wrong or more righgt about either type of person, it's just
bizarre to me and I don't understand it at all ahh
There's also a section that tends to ascribe archetypal "personalities" to different animal types and/or breeds of those animals, and they identify their own personality with them.
Myself, I've always been drawn to the fox, and I came to think it's because of identifying with that mischievous, independent and fiercely loyal aspect to them that tends to dominate most fox personalities. Now I'm not hardcore into that aspect of it, but I identify with that sort of archetyping, especially where it comes to my furry avatar.
Generally speaking I'm closer to your side of it than not, but just wanted to throw that out there; I'm really an artist that is better at and specializes in anthro while beginning to focus my writing into that subgenre, too.
Myself, I've always been drawn to the fox, and I came to think it's because of identifying with that mischievous, independent and fiercely loyal aspect to them that tends to dominate most fox personalities. Now I'm not hardcore into that aspect of it, but I identify with that sort of archetyping, especially where it comes to my furry avatar.
Generally speaking I'm closer to your side of it than not, but just wanted to throw that out there; I'm really an artist that is better at and specializes in anthro while beginning to focus my writing into that subgenre, too.
I can relate kinda like... ascribing your personality to a species of animal.
I remember I'd sit around and try to think. Hmmm. Maybe I have a 'catty' personality. Or a specific breed of dog.
I know some people who identify strongly with a species of animal, but they don't consider themselves part of the furry fandom
Almost more like a totem animal type thing
It's interesting to think about.
Mind you one of the people I mentioned in my first post was all super overly friendly and touchy and wore a wore a dog collar (suggesting somehting domestic) but called himself a wolf so
Now that I think about it, when I found out he was my friend's older brother she was all 'I'm still mad he calls himself a wolf, it's such an insult to wolves. Wild wolves would never wear a collar' etc haha
I remember I'd sit around and try to think. Hmmm. Maybe I have a 'catty' personality. Or a specific breed of dog.
I know some people who identify strongly with a species of animal, but they don't consider themselves part of the furry fandom
Almost more like a totem animal type thing
It's interesting to think about.
Mind you one of the people I mentioned in my first post was all super overly friendly and touchy and wore a wore a dog collar (suggesting somehting domestic) but called himself a wolf so
Now that I think about it, when I found out he was my friend's older brother she was all 'I'm still mad he calls himself a wolf, it's such an insult to wolves. Wild wolves would never wear a collar' etc haha
She might possibly be taking it a little too seriously. xD
The totem animal thing is something that I do think is somewhat on the fringes of furrydom, but I do believe it's considered a part of it... folks like that might be "closet furs", per se... really, I always describe furryness as "What Star Wars fans are, but for Disney movies."
I've been told it's the best possible description yet of what "being furry" means... you're basically an obscenely big fan of either Robin Hood or Lion King and sometimes wonder what it would be like to be in one of the lead roles. =p
The totem animal thing is something that I do think is somewhat on the fringes of furrydom, but I do believe it's considered a part of it... folks like that might be "closet furs", per se... really, I always describe furryness as "What Star Wars fans are, but for Disney movies."
I've been told it's the best possible description yet of what "being furry" means... you're basically an obscenely big fan of either Robin Hood or Lion King and sometimes wonder what it would be like to be in one of the lead roles. =p
JESUS MARY JOESEPH! LOOK AT ALL THESE COMMENTS! I actually ended up reading quite a bit of them too... Thank goodness I stopped, or I wouldn't have a night. *looks at clock after typing all this down* Fuck...
But, really. Whenever the topic of "furry" comes up, I try to explain- but my mom can retain so little info at a time. But I try to be honest of what it is, but never told her that I'm in the fandom, nothing in my room can point to me = furry. Unless it's in video or TV show form that I present to her and explain, then she understands. So she forgets, but my dad- he has an incredible memory and can understand a concept very quickly... I'd rather not explain much to him. But I rather not say "I am a furry, and I'm proud", anyone who knows me and knows my Twitter, can see that. But I stay anon, but willing to be honest to a friend when I deem them worthy, or if they are one. But I don't go off and shove furry in the face. Cause I'm also into Doctor Who, Pokemon, and anime fandoms; so I can talk forever on those because of the depth of complexity those have in story, strategies, and variety. Furry is art, fun, fursuits, and personified animals; with a bit of RP here and there. With the optional debates like this one. It is as complex or as simple as one wants it to be.
But, really. Whenever the topic of "furry" comes up, I try to explain- but my mom can retain so little info at a time. But I try to be honest of what it is, but never told her that I'm in the fandom, nothing in my room can point to me = furry. Unless it's in video or TV show form that I present to her and explain, then she understands. So she forgets, but my dad- he has an incredible memory and can understand a concept very quickly... I'd rather not explain much to him. But I rather not say "I am a furry, and I'm proud", anyone who knows me and knows my Twitter, can see that. But I stay anon, but willing to be honest to a friend when I deem them worthy, or if they are one. But I don't go off and shove furry in the face. Cause I'm also into Doctor Who, Pokemon, and anime fandoms; so I can talk forever on those because of the depth of complexity those have in story, strategies, and variety. Furry is art, fun, fursuits, and personified animals; with a bit of RP here and there. With the optional debates like this one. It is as complex or as simple as one wants it to be.
I just had a thought... We keep blowing things out of proportion... As humans, we kinda see minor things as "urgent", and forget that life must go on. If you like something or are into something, good for you. Unless it is illegal, then that's were the panic button must be pressed.
Well it's kind of hard to explain to my parents what sort of convention I was going to Seattle for for half a week. I don't live at home anymore but it's not really the kind of thing I can just go do without them finding out.
I draw cute animal people all the time and my parents are fairly interested in keeping up on what I'm doing life-wise. Considering my art and my furriness are intertwined to such a great degree, it's hard not to let them know. I'm a terribly liar anyway.
They don't know my fetishes and they never need to know. If you're only a furry because you like hot anthro butts, then it's not a big enough deal for you to be "coming out" to anyone over it. If you're spending money on commissions, if you're going to cons and spending a lot of time mingling with the community, you're a furry for a lot more than just porn. And if you can't tell your parents why you're a furry without including the porn part, you really need to think through why you're a part of the fandom, because it sounds like you don't understand it well enough, yourself.
Figure out how to describe the fandom, what part you take in it and why it's a big thing for you, but without using the words "furry" or "porn". Don't even bring up the usual terms unless they do first. "Mom, dad, I'm a furry" is probably THE WORST way of explaining what this thing is and what it means to you. Because that's drawing on everything they know about furries, which you can be sure is going to be all the very worst stuff.
I draw cute animal people all the time and my parents are fairly interested in keeping up on what I'm doing life-wise. Considering my art and my furriness are intertwined to such a great degree, it's hard not to let them know. I'm a terribly liar anyway.
They don't know my fetishes and they never need to know. If you're only a furry because you like hot anthro butts, then it's not a big enough deal for you to be "coming out" to anyone over it. If you're spending money on commissions, if you're going to cons and spending a lot of time mingling with the community, you're a furry for a lot more than just porn. And if you can't tell your parents why you're a furry without including the porn part, you really need to think through why you're a part of the fandom, because it sounds like you don't understand it well enough, yourself.
Figure out how to describe the fandom, what part you take in it and why it's a big thing for you, but without using the words "furry" or "porn". Don't even bring up the usual terms unless they do first. "Mom, dad, I'm a furry" is probably THE WORST way of explaining what this thing is and what it means to you. Because that's drawing on everything they know about furries, which you can be sure is going to be all the very worst stuff.
Well, I had to take a shot at explaining this whole "furry" thing to my folks a few years back because of some passing comment I'd made in a movie review or something. Can't remember the exact circumstances to it or if I explained it well enough for them to get that it's just a weird little hobby of mine that too many people take entirely the wrong way. Either way, I was already in my 30s by the time it came up anyway, and none of us have ever mentioned it again, so I guess it's not been that big a deal regardless.
my policy...i dont tell an.yone any more than they need to know about me...
except my wife...she gets to know everything i could possibly babble on about.
my parents dont need to know much about me. it hasnt come up, i make sure it doesnt come up and when it does come up i sweep it aside, because i dont have that discussion with my parents or anyone.
which is sometimes difficult when your wife makes fursuits for a living. so they get to see the suit pictures, but i've still kept them isolated from the fandom talk. we dont talk about it and they dont ask.
i dunno. i like to keep my worlds seperated, especially this world here...and i definently wouldnt break something like this to my co-workers...
because of all the stuff that i would get grouped in with. ever googled "furry" or "furries"? not something you want your mom, especially MY mom looking at. it wouldnt matter what i was or wasnt into in the fandom, i would be instantly grouped with the whole gamut...and before you go saying. "oh thats not fair."
well guess what...fair and how people think are rarely the same.
i've far exceeded my $0.02
except my wife...she gets to know everything i could possibly babble on about.
my parents dont need to know much about me. it hasnt come up, i make sure it doesnt come up and when it does come up i sweep it aside, because i dont have that discussion with my parents or anyone.
which is sometimes difficult when your wife makes fursuits for a living. so they get to see the suit pictures, but i've still kept them isolated from the fandom talk. we dont talk about it and they dont ask.
i dunno. i like to keep my worlds seperated, especially this world here...and i definently wouldnt break something like this to my co-workers...
because of all the stuff that i would get grouped in with. ever googled "furry" or "furries"? not something you want your mom, especially MY mom looking at. it wouldnt matter what i was or wasnt into in the fandom, i would be instantly grouped with the whole gamut...and before you go saying. "oh thats not fair."
well guess what...fair and how people think are rarely the same.
i've far exceeded my $0.02
I can KIIINNDA! see the furs telling their like parent or family and crap. Like me. I'm in a Christian family and like they find out you even like furries. hell breaks loose. Like I personally think it's better for them to hear it from you then someday randomly finding out you're into as they say "Bestiality". a small part of my family found out and it didn't end too pretty. So now they're all weirded out that I maybe talk about anything that might have to do with animals. Basically I wasn't planning on telling them what so ever. My brother is a snitch an ruined it and hey act as if I was having sex with animals
I "came out" as a furry to my mom when I was a teenager because I was dumb and took it too seriously, lol.
I don't really bring it up around people unless I'm interested in dating them and they're interested in me. They don't have to be a furry (my current bf isn't a furry) but they do have to be ok with that aspect of me.
I don't really bring it up around people unless I'm interested in dating them and they're interested in me. They don't have to be a furry (my current bf isn't a furry) but they do have to be ok with that aspect of me.
Furry: "Hey, mum, dad. I know you're probably not into this but.. I fuck people who dress up like animals, and masturbate to pictures of animals if they had evolved to be bipedal and invented thumbs."
Parents: "......"
Furry: "YEA! get THAT image out of your head. Do you need photos and renderings of my fursona to flesh out the images of your child fucking stuff?"
Parents: "......"
Furry: "YEA! get THAT image out of your head. Do you need photos and renderings of my fursona to flesh out the images of your child fucking stuff?"
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