As the title may show, these spinoffs are out of hand
This year, I really didn't have anything planned
And so I must quote what a wise man once said
To always quit while you're ahead

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T'was a dark, cold night of ice and snow
A blight for travelers, causing progress to slow
Of course, 'tis an easy task to remain quick and dry
If you happen to be legendary with the ability to fly!

Somewhere among Kanto's barren wastes
Wanders a Lucario, feeling quite misplaced
In front of him floated Mew, providing guidance
To lead him with her to the Seafoam Islands

"How much longer?" Lucario kept repeating
Wondering if they'd ever reach the legendary meeting
Mew stayed silent, thinking him rather foolish
It was his fault that their journey was so sluggish!

Had it just been her, she could have made like a train
Zooming through the air even faster than a plane
And although hardly the type to be considered religious
It pained her that she would be missing Christmas

"Do you know what night it is?" Mew asked with nonchalance
Lucario stopped, but she gave him no time to make a response
"It is Christmas Eve, the most important time of the year!"
"Can you truly believe that we are meant to spend it out here?"

"Who cares?" Lucario replied, watching her flinch at the phrase
Wondering how a Pokémon would even know about the holidays
"I mean, you said the legendaries are depending on you and me,"
"Do you really think we have time to go dress up a goddamn tree?"

"But... Every year I do this!" Mew answered, "It is my only tradition!"
"Surely we could celebrate it without hampering our mission?"
It had been a trying year, fighting Deoxys with her life at stake
Before moving on to debating Lugia, she felt she needed a break

"Forget it," Lucario muttered with a hint of dismay
"It's not all it's cracked up to be, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day,"
Disappointment was all he recalled, but it seemed appreciated by others
He figured it was by those with genuinely nice fathers and mothers!

And so their conversation ended, and Mew sighed with lament
This year, there was to be no celebration or soul-searching event
Focusing on their journey, she prayed that she would be blessed
With at least one more happy Christmas before her eternal rest