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Dear L - Whats The Point
Dear L,
My name is Lucy. I really have no one to really talk to anymore, no one I can communicate my true feelings to. Every time I try to speak, I always get the feeling that no one is listening to me, or it feels like no one really gives a damn about my feelings. By writing to you, I feel like I can communicate to you and know that at least someone knows how I feel without rejection.
Love...
I am just going to start off saying that I am feeling suicidal. Every time I wake up, I have to find a reason to continue my day. I have cuts and scars on my body from my agressive frustration, hoping that it would relieve the pain, but in the end, it just reminds me on how weak willed and depressing I am... I cant help it. Its one way to punish myself for being a stupid fool, a lonely-stubborn fool that no one would dare be befriend with...
I whimper, knowing that the most important thing in my life I cant seem to acquire: a companion. Love is the most important emotion and feeling in my mind. Without it, I feel hollow and sad. I have to find other means to fuel my soul and to press forward, but more and more, I have been running into dead ends and end up depressed. I always ask myself " Why am I alone? " I try to be open, but always shut down because others think different of me...Is it because of the way I look or the way I think? Do they judge me because they don’t know me? Do they not care because I really don’t have any common interests as they do? These are questions I keep asking myself. The more I think about it, the more closed off I become...
I know what they are thinking...It is the look in their eye and their body language too... They treat me differently because I am not appealing to their interests, because I am "dull" to them. These I cant help. I am who I am and no one really seems to take interest in me... Because I am different...
Life...
I wish to be part of something big, something that I could say " Yes, I am part of that and I enjoy being there. " Right now, I feel like I am apart of nothing, a lost piece to a puzzle. I feel that I was brought into a world where it is rare and difficult to be part of something that makes you feel warm and good about yourself everyday. I want to be in something that I could express myself in, something that will get me noticed and respected instead of rejected and put off as a no body. Everyone has to have a place in this world in order to survive, and it has to be a place where they can continue to push themselves to live on and enjoy life.
Where is my place? Am I going in the right direction? Do I even HAVE a direction? How would I know if the path that I am on will take me to happiness or not? ( I guess you can say I am having a life crisis here and a foggy vision of my future... )
Conclusion...
I am rambling, I know. These are constant "mood-swings", but they have been happening more and more now to the point where I feel like they are true. It makes me feel better to talk to someone about this, even if they don’t give a shit. But I know you care because of all those who write to you, knowing that you listen and respond with much comfort... The only way to see your problems is by listening, reading or looking at them.
I know what you might say to me if you do respond to me: I need to change myself, I need to make myself approachable by changing my outlook. I need to be more talkative, funny, even sometimes "stupid", to look on the bright side of life. I have my health, I have a family, I have a roof over my head, I have a talent, I have money... That should be more than enough for you. But you see, that is not what I really think. I have my health, but because of my depression, it is getting worse. I have my family, but I can’t portray the love to them than what I would to my love partner. I have a roof over my head, but it is lonely as hell. I have a talent, but I doubt it because I feel like I am not making a difference. I have money, but money doesn't make one happy... I guess all I ask for is someone that will except me in a lovable brace and something that will say that I am on the right track in life because I feel so lost now...
Please write to me. It will mean so much to hear some words of comfort and something that I can constantly read whenever I am at this depressed level...Thank you very much.
God Bless.
- Lucy
Words from the artist:
Whenever I draw something from someone's life, from my life, or from a fantasy life, it often holds a strong story behind it, a life lesson or a question that cannot be answered or has to go through layers of stages in order to find the answer. This letter was inspired by my own feelings along with some other comrades that I know who are going through the same 'stage' in their life. Don’t be alarmed..
- Ookami Kemono
Whats the Point © 2008 Alex Cockburn
My name is Lucy. I really have no one to really talk to anymore, no one I can communicate my true feelings to. Every time I try to speak, I always get the feeling that no one is listening to me, or it feels like no one really gives a damn about my feelings. By writing to you, I feel like I can communicate to you and know that at least someone knows how I feel without rejection.
Love...
I am just going to start off saying that I am feeling suicidal. Every time I wake up, I have to find a reason to continue my day. I have cuts and scars on my body from my agressive frustration, hoping that it would relieve the pain, but in the end, it just reminds me on how weak willed and depressing I am... I cant help it. Its one way to punish myself for being a stupid fool, a lonely-stubborn fool that no one would dare be befriend with...
I whimper, knowing that the most important thing in my life I cant seem to acquire: a companion. Love is the most important emotion and feeling in my mind. Without it, I feel hollow and sad. I have to find other means to fuel my soul and to press forward, but more and more, I have been running into dead ends and end up depressed. I always ask myself " Why am I alone? " I try to be open, but always shut down because others think different of me...Is it because of the way I look or the way I think? Do they judge me because they don’t know me? Do they not care because I really don’t have any common interests as they do? These are questions I keep asking myself. The more I think about it, the more closed off I become...
I know what they are thinking...It is the look in their eye and their body language too... They treat me differently because I am not appealing to their interests, because I am "dull" to them. These I cant help. I am who I am and no one really seems to take interest in me... Because I am different...
Life...
I wish to be part of something big, something that I could say " Yes, I am part of that and I enjoy being there. " Right now, I feel like I am apart of nothing, a lost piece to a puzzle. I feel that I was brought into a world where it is rare and difficult to be part of something that makes you feel warm and good about yourself everyday. I want to be in something that I could express myself in, something that will get me noticed and respected instead of rejected and put off as a no body. Everyone has to have a place in this world in order to survive, and it has to be a place where they can continue to push themselves to live on and enjoy life.
Where is my place? Am I going in the right direction? Do I even HAVE a direction? How would I know if the path that I am on will take me to happiness or not? ( I guess you can say I am having a life crisis here and a foggy vision of my future... )
Conclusion...
I am rambling, I know. These are constant "mood-swings", but they have been happening more and more now to the point where I feel like they are true. It makes me feel better to talk to someone about this, even if they don’t give a shit. But I know you care because of all those who write to you, knowing that you listen and respond with much comfort... The only way to see your problems is by listening, reading or looking at them.
I know what you might say to me if you do respond to me: I need to change myself, I need to make myself approachable by changing my outlook. I need to be more talkative, funny, even sometimes "stupid", to look on the bright side of life. I have my health, I have a family, I have a roof over my head, I have a talent, I have money... That should be more than enough for you. But you see, that is not what I really think. I have my health, but because of my depression, it is getting worse. I have my family, but I can’t portray the love to them than what I would to my love partner. I have a roof over my head, but it is lonely as hell. I have a talent, but I doubt it because I feel like I am not making a difference. I have money, but money doesn't make one happy... I guess all I ask for is someone that will except me in a lovable brace and something that will say that I am on the right track in life because I feel so lost now...
Please write to me. It will mean so much to hear some words of comfort and something that I can constantly read whenever I am at this depressed level...Thank you very much.
God Bless.
- Lucy
Words from the artist:
Whenever I draw something from someone's life, from my life, or from a fantasy life, it often holds a strong story behind it, a life lesson or a question that cannot be answered or has to go through layers of stages in order to find the answer. This letter was inspired by my own feelings along with some other comrades that I know who are going through the same 'stage' in their life. Don’t be alarmed..
- Ookami Kemono
Whats the Point © 2008 Alex Cockburn
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 634 x 448px
File Size 320.6 kB
Very emotional piece, and well done. Being able to portray raw emotion through a work of art really is a true talent.
Since you say that this is based on true feelings, I'm going to say that if you would like somebody to talk to about all of this, somebody that has been there and BARELY made it through it all to be much better off now, I'd be more than willing to talk about it and share my experiences and possibly offer some insight, inspiration or mild comfort to help in a difficult time. Just IM me if ya'd like.
Good job on this :)
Since you say that this is based on true feelings, I'm going to say that if you would like somebody to talk to about all of this, somebody that has been there and BARELY made it through it all to be much better off now, I'd be more than willing to talk about it and share my experiences and possibly offer some insight, inspiration or mild comfort to help in a difficult time. Just IM me if ya'd like.
Good job on this :)
i think everyone probably feels like this at some point or another in our modern world. we live very separated lives passing one another everyday but so rarely coming into contact, it becomes very easy to feel that no one is interested and that you don't make difference in the lives of others, in the world...the nagging fear that it isn't simply a phase, that your life will never contain more then what it has now, is enough to make anyone question whether it is truly worth continuing to fight for another day. even if you decide to change, find goals and hold to them, often you feel like you've simple come back in a circle. it's not always enough to change when there isn't someone there to say that it's better now...no one has the answers, and no one can ever understand how it feels, even if they do understand it's too hard to believe that they could, but it at least does feel good to have someone hear your heart. personally i live every day to be better in some way then i was the day before, not because i feel that i should be perfect, but because if some day there is every a chance, however small, that i can do or get the things i dream, i want to be able to rise to what ever challenges stand in my way...mew, now that i've ranted ><;;;
I don't normally post much and mostly have never really had the time to do so, but this felt like it needed a reply. The picture alone speaks volumes and the feelings that flow from it really do hit home. Reading the story with it almost brings one to tears and for me it can be hard to read.
I too am at a very similar stage in my life. I find it harder every day to get up and get on with the daily grind. My heart aches and every fiber of my body hurts. The pain never goes away, its ever present, and no matter what i do i always feel empty and lost. I've lost interest in most of my hobbies and often find myself sitting alone wondering in thoughts of emptiness and death. Never taking anything to that extreme, because some part of me still hopes everything will turn around i guess.
I to have money, my own home, and even a friend or two. I should be happy, i should be enjoying this point in my life but i feel as though something important is still missing and may never be found.
Loneliness is the bane of my existence. I am the odd one out and at times i find myself thinking that i will always be alone, always feeling like this and never know what true companionship is. It's a scary place to be and i wonder if i'll ever make it through ok.
Being one who is still on the inside of the box looking out, i haven't much advice to offer. Look within yourself and be determined to pull though just one more day. Do that every day and let whatever hope you can muster light the darkness as it may.
~NSW
I too am at a very similar stage in my life. I find it harder every day to get up and get on with the daily grind. My heart aches and every fiber of my body hurts. The pain never goes away, its ever present, and no matter what i do i always feel empty and lost. I've lost interest in most of my hobbies and often find myself sitting alone wondering in thoughts of emptiness and death. Never taking anything to that extreme, because some part of me still hopes everything will turn around i guess.
I to have money, my own home, and even a friend or two. I should be happy, i should be enjoying this point in my life but i feel as though something important is still missing and may never be found.
Loneliness is the bane of my existence. I am the odd one out and at times i find myself thinking that i will always be alone, always feeling like this and never know what true companionship is. It's a scary place to be and i wonder if i'll ever make it through ok.
Being one who is still on the inside of the box looking out, i haven't much advice to offer. Look within yourself and be determined to pull though just one more day. Do that every day and let whatever hope you can muster light the darkness as it may.
~NSW
The problem with the world that we live in is that it's harder to find meaningful experiences. It's difficult to find meaning in anything. I for one have a tough time seeing life as anything other than a collosal joke. Like some sort of cosmic joke that fell flat on its face in the telling.
I agree with Nightstorm- I also understand the feelings behind the letter. I certainly wish that these feelings never happened, but they show up at what seems to be the worst times. The way that society has 'grown' (or not grown...) has destroyed the fiber of people caring about others, and it feels like it gets worse every day. The best thing that I have come across to alive these problems that show up at our paws every morning is to walk through them. Do our best to ignore them if they hurt us, fight through them if it will help us. Being lonely is unmistakenly the worst feeling there is, and it is very hard to overcome. Finding love after a crash into loneliness is even harder, considering the ideas that are in the back of our heads that say it won't work. I don't find life as a joke, as al_brann says. If you look at life as a lesson- a lesson that is continuous and ongoing, then take what you have learned over the years that you have been on this planet and put them into your everyday life, it becomes easier. I'm not going to say that life is easy, because if I did, I'd be lying. Life is difficult- and even though we have all sorts of doo-dads and gadgets to make our lives easier and more fun, we simply forget the basics of life- you must remember that you are just as important as anyone else. You must remember that keeping yourself happy may not be easy, but it is just as important as keeping others happy.
*sorry for the rambling...*
=^_^=
-Fox
*sorry for the rambling...*
=^_^=
-Fox
As others have already stated, this kind of depression is very common nowadays. When it happens to you then it's important to try to appreciate what you already have achieved in your life. The trick is, usually, not changing yourself but changing the way you think of yourself. It's difficult, but there are different ways to achieve that end, like meditation (which is meant to make you realize that what you have is sufficient) or religious affiliation, as all big modern religions carry the same notion of a divine entity which appreciates all your efforts, no matter the outcome. But you really need to find your only way.
Because of this I usually tend to talk about philosophical stuff when I'm depressed myself. Since unfortunately I have some serious problems with talking about my emotions, philosophy is my way of dealing with depressions.
Because of this I usually tend to talk about philosophical stuff when I'm depressed myself. Since unfortunately I have some serious problems with talking about my emotions, philosophy is my way of dealing with depressions.
Im beginning to think we all go through a feeling of complete worthlessness now a days. I have fought mine and found purpose, though quite with a bit of luck. But every so often I have those moments. I would go more into detail about my journey to help who might be reading, but I am short on time.
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