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Dear Diary,
Today was different than any other day. Being gay as you know, I took a long look at myself in the mirror, longer than usual. As I was deciding on what to wear to school today, it dawned on me that I had more of a famine body than a male structure. I am skinny and somewhat frail, much like a "girly-boy" body. I never really took notice to something like that until today.
Being a male is touch, especially the body I have . I cant seem to grow any kind of muscle or gain a six pack or even have long whiskers upon my muzzle. It seems like I will never be able to be a man "physically". All my other male friends have a more "butcher" body... and I am not talking about their erections... I seem to be out of place with my companions physically.
So, today I picked up some female clothing, hiding the fact form others that it as just buying them for my "girlfriend". At home, I tried on some clothing and took a look at my body through the mirror. I look completely different than usual and it rose my eyebrows. Form what I am telling you, you understand my curiosity about the female body. So, I am telling you that I would...no...that I am willing to change my physical being into more of a female fursona, as in changing my sex to female. No one else knows about this. You are the only one I am talking to you about this.
I seem to be more in touch with females rather than males. It is who I am. Being gay has nothing to do about it, but it does give me some view points on the female side and their way of thinking. I am not violent or macho or loud, but quieter, more feminine in my own way. Starting tomorrow, I will be going to my doctor and talk to him about my idea of physical change. It is not going to involve surgery, but hormonal pills. By doing this, I would have to start out being someone else, starting a new life. I would have to change my name, my identity and tell my friends and family. THAT will be the hardest part of this change.
I have given it much though and I agree myself to do it. I wish to be one with both sexes by doing this. I will still have the mind of a male, but the body of a female. It is who I am. It is a large choice, a life changing choice, but I agree to go along with it. I will continue to talk to you about my change and give you daily updates.
Thank you for listening. Be well.
- John.....hopefully soon to be Johanna.
TransThought © 2008 Alex Cockburn
Today was different than any other day. Being gay as you know, I took a long look at myself in the mirror, longer than usual. As I was deciding on what to wear to school today, it dawned on me that I had more of a famine body than a male structure. I am skinny and somewhat frail, much like a "girly-boy" body. I never really took notice to something like that until today.
Being a male is touch, especially the body I have . I cant seem to grow any kind of muscle or gain a six pack or even have long whiskers upon my muzzle. It seems like I will never be able to be a man "physically". All my other male friends have a more "butcher" body... and I am not talking about their erections... I seem to be out of place with my companions physically.
So, today I picked up some female clothing, hiding the fact form others that it as just buying them for my "girlfriend". At home, I tried on some clothing and took a look at my body through the mirror. I look completely different than usual and it rose my eyebrows. Form what I am telling you, you understand my curiosity about the female body. So, I am telling you that I would...no...that I am willing to change my physical being into more of a female fursona, as in changing my sex to female. No one else knows about this. You are the only one I am talking to you about this.
I seem to be more in touch with females rather than males. It is who I am. Being gay has nothing to do about it, but it does give me some view points on the female side and their way of thinking. I am not violent or macho or loud, but quieter, more feminine in my own way. Starting tomorrow, I will be going to my doctor and talk to him about my idea of physical change. It is not going to involve surgery, but hormonal pills. By doing this, I would have to start out being someone else, starting a new life. I would have to change my name, my identity and tell my friends and family. THAT will be the hardest part of this change.
I have given it much though and I agree myself to do it. I wish to be one with both sexes by doing this. I will still have the mind of a male, but the body of a female. It is who I am. It is a large choice, a life changing choice, but I agree to go along with it. I will continue to talk to you about my change and give you daily updates.
Thank you for listening. Be well.
- John.....hopefully soon to be Johanna.
TransThought © 2008 Alex Cockburn
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 545 x 696px
File Size 338 kB
That's a very sweet picture, and a touching story. I, too, know a friend or two who have made that change. I find it really amazing and wonderful that it's now possible for people who feel more like the opposite sex can, if they so choose, become who they feel they are meant to be.
I once met some guy who used to be female. I remember being confused about his gender at first (until he said he has changed his gender), since he looked pretty male at first, but didn't even have the slightest hint of facial hair and a pretty high voice. I wonder if he'd just turned female recently. Or if he didn't take his hormones.
Anyway, I wonder what he would have felt or said if I told him that he still makes a rather feminine impression. It's kinda hard to imagine what it is like to have your sex changed. Definately must be one of the hardest decissions one can make in life.
Anyway, I wonder what he would have felt or said if I told him that he still makes a rather feminine impression. It's kinda hard to imagine what it is like to have your sex changed. Definately must be one of the hardest decissions one can make in life.
it's not on me to tell you what to do and what not, but i'd advise you, to stay with dressing different for a while before you consider to do the next step...
i think it looks really cute the way it is, but, of course, it's your decision. but you should be really really sure about it, before you start to make changes you maybe can't revoke.
*hug*
the way you look right now, i'd totally date you.... if i had the guts to ask you
i think it looks really cute the way it is, but, of course, it's your decision. but you should be really really sure about it, before you start to make changes you maybe can't revoke.
*hug*
the way you look right now, i'd totally date you.... if i had the guts to ask you
I am taking those first steps myself, changing my name and outing myself to work which for me will be the hardest part as I worry about supporting my family. My fiancee has been there and it has been hard and even worse, hard to keep a good job thanks to the large amount of transphobia she has to put up with. Thankfully my boys will probably be spared this as they seem to be pretty normal men for the most part. (I'm a polyamorous, transitioning to male.) It is not an easy choice and even still a harder journey.
I love that you drew this.
I love that you drew this.
This reminds me of the trials and tribulations is Aslaug's well written stories.
http://planetfurry.com/users/aslaug.....ings/index.php
http://planetfurry.com/users/aslaug.....ings/index.php
I know a lot of trans people. I always felt that their identity with the opposite gender of their birth was more inside than physically apparent. drugs like estrogen and testosterone are how they gain the physical appearance to go with how they feel.
at any rate every story is unique. and yours is no lesser because of it ^_^
also, I loe the picture to go with it :3 I love well done cel shading like that. your shading has always impressed me
at any rate every story is unique. and yours is no lesser because of it ^_^
also, I loe the picture to go with it :3 I love well done cel shading like that. your shading has always impressed me
my cousin told me i should make that change, she says she thinks i'd be happier... me, i dont know... i've thought about it, but it would mean giving up a lot of things that i treasure... sometimes people make that choice, willingly giving up things like that... those of you that do, i dont think 'envy' is the word to describe it... but i wish my life allowed me to make such a choice...
I've never understood people who have such issues with their own bodies they have to try and change genders. Don't get me wrong, I'm rather open-minded about a lot of lifestyle choices, but that said, I think drastically altering your own body is stupid. Frankly, gender change is trying to be something you're not at its absolute worst.
I've exparimented with my sexuality, and have come to the conclusion that I definately prefer girls.
The thing is, contemplating the notion of possibly being gay opened my eyes to possibillities that were never at the forefront of my mind..
I tried new ideas on how to dress, and the more I experimented, the more right it felt, and the more subcounciously repressed things started to bubble to the surface.
So in a matter of 3 short years I've gone from thinking I was straight to thinking I might be gay, to thinking I was bi, then a bi transgender, and now here I am, a lesbian t-girl, on her 5th month of testosterone blockers, out at work, name legaly changed, and awaiting a visit to an endochrinologist to start my full blown HRT.
It's been hard at times but all in all, I've had it pretty easy. At worst, my coworkers have been curious (which I really don't mind so long as they actualy listen to my explinations, or back off if I say I'm not comfortable with the discussion)
The only really hard part is the stares I get from some of the costomers, and my mother's difficulties accepting this, which is totaly understandable.
Would help if my dad was still around too. I'm pretty sure he and his husband would have been supportive.
Anyway, I'm starting to ramble. Thank you for this wonderful piece. Some of the thoughts VERY closely mirriored my own.
The thing is, contemplating the notion of possibly being gay opened my eyes to possibillities that were never at the forefront of my mind..
I tried new ideas on how to dress, and the more I experimented, the more right it felt, and the more subcounciously repressed things started to bubble to the surface.
So in a matter of 3 short years I've gone from thinking I was straight to thinking I might be gay, to thinking I was bi, then a bi transgender, and now here I am, a lesbian t-girl, on her 5th month of testosterone blockers, out at work, name legaly changed, and awaiting a visit to an endochrinologist to start my full blown HRT.
It's been hard at times but all in all, I've had it pretty easy. At worst, my coworkers have been curious (which I really don't mind so long as they actualy listen to my explinations, or back off if I say I'm not comfortable with the discussion)
The only really hard part is the stares I get from some of the costomers, and my mother's difficulties accepting this, which is totaly understandable.
Would help if my dad was still around too. I'm pretty sure he and his husband would have been supportive.
Anyway, I'm starting to ramble. Thank you for this wonderful piece. Some of the thoughts VERY closely mirriored my own.
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