A poem where I can feel the truth is the sorrow happening.
Really short but the feeling and imagination of words are present.
A emotion I can really understand.
No pace of last world syllaber, but have repeat in the last.

Is sure is a art where need trainning, but the importance is the write is like the ink heart.
The rain as the tears droped from tired cheek, the light are present, just not everytime the same source and shining.

is good poem.

Yes, the poem is written out of sorrow and is intended to be pretty dark. I was attempting to describe something by describing its opposite. So instead of describing cities and man-made things and advertisements and religion and philosophical ideas and promises made and broken and all those things that felt like lies to me, I instead described the only things that didn't feel like lies, the only things I felt I could trust and rely on as true. It's similar to how I described being otherkin by imagining what it might be like to not be otherkin in if dragons were real.

Thanks for your thoughts.

yeah I understand, we have all a wish or a want where is not possible.
I had this same feeling to, I understand what you feel and the deep darkness I can see.
Don't worry, what this important is what is inside you, same ifyou are not what you want, that don't meant is who are you.
The important is how and why, not what.

Simple. Short.
Not much to say.
I feel like you could have put more into it to describe a real scene. It seems to me like it would have read better if it described a place you were in, to assure the philosophical tenet that you only believe in what you're currently experiencing.

Anyway. Fun haiku type writing.

Cheers.

It was a real scene, actually. These are all images from a walk I took today. I didn't describe the city streets or the sidewalks or the buildings and such because I was specifically excluding them. But I do worry I didn't describe the scene evocatively enough. I wanted to capture the look of the wet grass coming up out of the puddles but it felt like that getting into too much detail and going off track.

Thanks so much for the feedback!

Nice, I like this.