I have had this problem with my best friend for a long time, since she believes that I stole my boyfriend from her over 2 years ago, (which I did not she said that she didn't like him anymore and the relationship between him and me wasn't even a planned thing it just happened one day), And since then I have not been able to publicly display my feelings on social media. Which hurts because there are times when I had a really good day with him, or I just want people to know I am with him so that they won't bother me, or anything of the sort.

And now that she has a boyfriend, I'm seeing all these "feeling loved" messages and them having adorable conversations with each other, and every time I read this.. it hurts... Because I can't do it without upsetting her.

And the more I see it, the more I just want to not give a fuck.

I love her so much and I don't want her to hate me, or disown me as a friend. I feel so conflicted, I'm happy for her relationship, I even introduced them... I just wish she would take into consideration my feelings like I have been doing for her all these years.

I understand that it's a new relationship and she's excited about everything, but if she starts talking to me about dates and how much fun she is having I don't know what I"m going to do because it's not like I can say, "well when I did that with my bf..." I can't, I won't be able to do that, and he's becoming a much bigger part of my life.

What am I gonna do when he proposes?

What am I gonna do when he and I get married?

When I get pregnant?

Am I going to have to hide all of this from her too?

All these important moments in my life and I can't share them with my best friend...

How is this fare?