I honestly feel for you. I dunno if you felt it, I had a buddy who when he visited his old man's grave for the first time, fell to his knee's and retched. Said it felt like someone stabbed him in the gut. Same feeling I get, when I visit my grandfather's crypt.

Both of us knew our parents, so it hurt. I can't imagine what it feels like for you but, I do know you're strong. So you'll be able to endure what ever feeling that hit you. I sense alot of regret and emptiness but, that's me. Be strong, because your father is in you. His strengths and his weaknesses. That's how you leave your mark in the world.

Ah geez, Lucid...I'm sorry to hear of what happened. :( but...I know he has a leaving thought of being proud in you! I know he'd be so delighted to see just how much you've grown after all these years!

-hugs tight- I can't imagine the mixed feelings you are having right now either....but....I'm glad you were able to see his grave :3

It's very sobering to visit a grave, whether it was someone you were close to, or someone you barely knew or remember. I find that solace is found if you speak out loud, or in your head to whomever it is before you. I tell my uncle every chance I get that I miss him and how things are. I tell him as much as I can remember. Afterward, I feel somewhat better about his passing. I know he'll be waiting for me with a smile once it's my time to go.

D'aww. *tighthug*