Well. It's not bad. I mean, all the descriptions of the things happening were in it!

I think there's still not a lot of colour in your writing though. You should try to stand still at the scene. What do the places look like? What kind of feeling does it give the characters? And try to put some more thought into describing the thoughts and sensations of your characters. Exactly how does Kyle feel as he is being slurped into the stomach, and how does his state of mind change? Feel free to get creative with those.

Also, you should try something about the pronoun situation when referring to the dog. If you can turn it into an "it" or an "its" then you should do that, because it gets kind of drony when you read "the dog" over and over.

All in all, you've got the framework for the stuff you want to happen, but you just need to work on adding colour to it, so it nicer to read.

so it's* nicer to read

Lucky. I want a dream like that. >:/

That was a good read fierflame. :3