Yes, I'm a cabbie for hire, and if you got the money, I'll take you to pretty much anywhere this side of Hell's Gate. But don't make me wait in your driveway while you finish drinking that 40oz, smoking that bowl, polishing that rim, or whatever it is you're doing on my time instead of your own.

Pro tip from a guy who appreciates the value of a tip: If you must fuck with a cabbie, fuck with one you already know. We know where you live...