
there is nothing more terrifying than thinking you've messed everything up. and feeling like there's nothing you can say to fix what you've done.
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(note: i am fine now. everything is ok: i drew this when i was Very Sad but i like it)
__________
(note: i am fine now. everything is ok: i drew this when i was Very Sad but i like it)
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 960 x 1280px
File Size 53.5 kB
ohgod
I had this happen three or four days ago. I thought i'd said something wrong, I ruined a moment, there was a misunderstanding, and suddenly it felt like my special friendship was going to fall apart. I knew better, knew that he accepted be despite how imperfect I am. Aside from my partners, I've never been so close to someone. And it was gone, disappearing, I fuck everything up. That's what I told myself, because for so long, I didn't realize that I wasn't the one at fault, all the people who cut and run on me they were the ones fucking up, they didn't appreciate me, how good a person i am, how worth it i am despite my faults..I got so used to blaming myself, because blaming myself was easy to understand, it brought a fucked up kind of closure to it, better than the not knowing, somehow the pain of being shitty to yourself felt better than just not understanding WHY damnit WHY.
And then it was ok. I realized that he understood. He wasn't going anywhere because he actually appreciates me. Sure..things might change some, maybe they wont be the same but the love was still there it would be different but good different, not bad different. Good different is ok, good different is good. It's just hard to do some times, but the more you learn to love yourself, the more infrequent those moments become.
I had this happen three or four days ago. I thought i'd said something wrong, I ruined a moment, there was a misunderstanding, and suddenly it felt like my special friendship was going to fall apart. I knew better, knew that he accepted be despite how imperfect I am. Aside from my partners, I've never been so close to someone. And it was gone, disappearing, I fuck everything up. That's what I told myself, because for so long, I didn't realize that I wasn't the one at fault, all the people who cut and run on me they were the ones fucking up, they didn't appreciate me, how good a person i am, how worth it i am despite my faults..I got so used to blaming myself, because blaming myself was easy to understand, it brought a fucked up kind of closure to it, better than the not knowing, somehow the pain of being shitty to yourself felt better than just not understanding WHY damnit WHY.
And then it was ok. I realized that he understood. He wasn't going anywhere because he actually appreciates me. Sure..things might change some, maybe they wont be the same but the love was still there it would be different but good different, not bad different. Good different is ok, good different is good. It's just hard to do some times, but the more you learn to love yourself, the more infrequent those moments become.
People come and people go,
Friendships often ebb and flow.
Some times bonds can get real shaky,
It doesn't mean good times were fake, see?
It doesn't mean the good intent was wasted,
Or you were undeserving of the love you tasted.
Some times, people just need their space,
Some time aside from the human race.
At all times, keep your own heart cherished,
Try not to dwell on ties that perished.
Time is known for bringing change,
Life by time is oft rearranged.
Just stay frosty and keep it cool,
Always remember-let self-love rule.
Friendships often ebb and flow.
Some times bonds can get real shaky,
It doesn't mean good times were fake, see?
It doesn't mean the good intent was wasted,
Or you were undeserving of the love you tasted.
Some times, people just need their space,
Some time aside from the human race.
At all times, keep your own heart cherished,
Try not to dwell on ties that perished.
Time is known for bringing change,
Life by time is oft rearranged.
Just stay frosty and keep it cool,
Always remember-let self-love rule.
Love you for you, man. All I know is, I've had people leave my life because stuff between us changed for whatever reason, then had them come back into my life later on down the line. The best you can do is do your best to better yourself for your own sake, and hope that wherever life takes them, they do the same for theirs.
Just don't give up on you.
Just don't give up on you.
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