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There's also something you people who know me should know. I haven't told many. Just a few. I've felt utterly humiliated and fighting guilt.
Valor passed away last weekend. I tried desperately to keep him alive before this and hard during his last day. I fed, made sure he had water, got plenty of time in the outdoors, exercised him with training. Things were great.
Then, he just rapidly dropped weight and I grew concerned. He stopped eating. I made an appointment to see the vet first thing Monday morning, alerted my sponsor and said I made a good call and recommended I just try to keep him hydrated and fed.
He died later on, in my arms.
I miss him. So. I suppose this is just a great memorial picture. IT wasn't intended to be that, but I guess it turned into that.
Will I be getting another Red-Tail? Of course. I'm not dropping falconry, but I feel immensely guilty. Like I could have changed it. My sponsor says I did fine and he probably had something that just kicked in now. IT happens. Three of the four birds in the area we attained Valor from died in the last year as well.
So. As of yet, I'm hawkless and I've felt like a failure. I didn't want to say anything for fear that I'll be chastised by those who oppose falconry. But now that I can accept what's happened and continue on my journey, I feel I can post this.
Thank you
Deja-Blu for the art.
Thank you, Val for the wonderful time you gave me. I'm glad to have been your falconer for such a short time. I've grown. I just wish you could have grown with me, buddy.
Valor passed away last weekend. I tried desperately to keep him alive before this and hard during his last day. I fed, made sure he had water, got plenty of time in the outdoors, exercised him with training. Things were great.
Then, he just rapidly dropped weight and I grew concerned. He stopped eating. I made an appointment to see the vet first thing Monday morning, alerted my sponsor and said I made a good call and recommended I just try to keep him hydrated and fed.
He died later on, in my arms.
I miss him. So. I suppose this is just a great memorial picture. IT wasn't intended to be that, but I guess it turned into that.
Will I be getting another Red-Tail? Of course. I'm not dropping falconry, but I feel immensely guilty. Like I could have changed it. My sponsor says I did fine and he probably had something that just kicked in now. IT happens. Three of the four birds in the area we attained Valor from died in the last year as well.
So. As of yet, I'm hawkless and I've felt like a failure. I didn't want to say anything for fear that I'll be chastised by those who oppose falconry. But now that I can accept what's happened and continue on my journey, I feel I can post this.
Thank you
Deja-Blu for the art.Thank you, Val for the wonderful time you gave me. I'm glad to have been your falconer for such a short time. I've grown. I just wish you could have grown with me, buddy.
Category Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Avian (Other)
Size 1280 x 1280px
File Size 213 kB
It's just that constant emotions that we humans go through. We blame ourselves; I should have done that and not that, I could have done that better, if I had done this, things would've been better?
Are they justified? Most of the time, no. We judge ourselves too harshly.
I'm slowly overcoming it and have been attempting to get another Red-tail to no luck, but I'm sure it'll come in time.
Are they justified? Most of the time, no. We judge ourselves too harshly.
I'm slowly overcoming it and have been attempting to get another Red-tail to no luck, but I'm sure it'll come in time.
In no way are you a failure. Things happen that are out of our control, entirely so, and there is noone at all to blame or fault for it. As your sponsor said, it was likely something already in him that was a ticking time bomb, and birds are soooo susceptible to some pretty crazy things, looking healthy until theyre just beyond help. Which may sound frightening, but its simple truth. Dont be discouraged, you did all you could, and the best you can do is learn from this, grow, and become a better, stronger falconer!
you actually have more book-knowledge about raptors than I do, I would wager... >v> Heck, I personally dont even have a license! youve gone to great lengths for the birds you love, in no way, ever, would I call you a failure. Chin up, fluffbutt!
you actually have more book-knowledge about raptors than I do, I would wager... >v> Heck, I personally dont even have a license! youve gone to great lengths for the birds you love, in no way, ever, would I call you a failure. Chin up, fluffbutt!
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