Oh, Jolyns. :( This breaks my heart. Although I love the drawing itself and the fact that you are able to emote through your drawings, you know that I hate what it represents. You're not a monster to me. You're the farthest thing from it. But I know that doesn't mean much coming from me when you don't believe it yourself. I know you hear me say these things to you and tell yourself, "If only she knew; if she knew what I really am and what really goes on inside of my head, then she wouldn't feel that way. She doesn't know that I'm a fraud." But none of that is true. That is not your own voice, Jolyn. That is your disease screaming at you in your mind telling you these horrible things about yourself. It's all lies and you have to trust me on this. I know that, deep down and very far away, a second, though much smaller, quieter voice is whispering to you and telling you that you are not a monster, that you do have worth and that you are deserving of love. It's at times so subtle that you don't even hear it. But if you tune out all the lies that your disease is screaming at you, and listen closely, you can hear it saying, "I believe in you. You are a beautiful and unique human being with so much love to give and so much more to offer the world." Try to hear it. I know it's there, Jolyn. It's the voice of your true self.

That makes me want to cry. I've trusted you on everything else so why not this too? I do believe there's a little part of myself that knows these things, but like you said it's covered up and muffled. I know this will take time to change, you can't just undo years of distorted thinking. But I do trust you. And I just hope one day I can see things about me the way you do. I love you so very much.

awww jolynnn i messaged you on fb today to ask how you were doing before you even posted this!! my thoughts are exactly with laura, she has basically said everything i could say as well, and i hope you always remember the things i tell you in messages too, and how i empathize with you and i know how it is to have an illness have a hold on you <3