FA+
Shop
1078
Views
Views
62
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Wolf
Size 1280 x 904
File Size 723.1 kB
Report this content
★
More from FeralMoonlight
Please, Notice Me...?
Please, Notice Me...?
As a little girl, age five, my parents were always fighting, my father slamming doors, my mother crying, my brothers hiding under the table. Our mother, who was in pain and unable to think straight, scolded her children, even when we had nothing to do with what was going on. I didn't know my mother meant no harm, but I did know she was unhappy. So to cheer her up, I would make her drawings, of animals and forests and flowers, and paste them to her bedroom door. When she found them, she would rip them off and I would pick them up the day after, my work in shreds.
Age ten, my parents were divorced and our mother was trying to get herself together. I didn't understand what was going on so well. At school, the teachers called me a dreamer and said that I was "different". I would tell amazing stories about places that didn't exist, as if I had been there. Nobody believed me anymore and my mother punished me because I lied. I was alone... all I had left were my drawings.
Age sixteen, high school. I was still alone, I had no friends to hang out with, spent my time in the library reading books about worlds that didn't exist, and believing that they did, I would look for them. Classmates ignored me and nobody saw the hard work I did to make beautiful drawings of the world as I saw it - as I wanted to see it. Nobody ever saw my struggles, hidden behind my sad smiles and the loose clothes I used to conceal myself.
All I wanted was a little attention, a little praise, just a hint of the feeling that I did well, that I was good at something - good FOR something - and that I was worth as much as the others around me. But if I am not worthless, then why don't people notice me...?
Art, character and story © me
As a little girl, age five, my parents were always fighting, my father slamming doors, my mother crying, my brothers hiding under the table. Our mother, who was in pain and unable to think straight, scolded her children, even when we had nothing to do with what was going on. I didn't know my mother meant no harm, but I did know she was unhappy. So to cheer her up, I would make her drawings, of animals and forests and flowers, and paste them to her bedroom door. When she found them, she would rip them off and I would pick them up the day after, my work in shreds.
Age ten, my parents were divorced and our mother was trying to get herself together. I didn't understand what was going on so well. At school, the teachers called me a dreamer and said that I was "different". I would tell amazing stories about places that didn't exist, as if I had been there. Nobody believed me anymore and my mother punished me because I lied. I was alone... all I had left were my drawings.
Age sixteen, high school. I was still alone, I had no friends to hang out with, spent my time in the library reading books about worlds that didn't exist, and believing that they did, I would look for them. Classmates ignored me and nobody saw the hard work I did to make beautiful drawings of the world as I saw it - as I wanted to see it. Nobody ever saw my struggles, hidden behind my sad smiles and the loose clothes I used to conceal myself.
All I wanted was a little attention, a little praise, just a hint of the feeling that I did well, that I was good at something - good FOR something - and that I was worth as much as the others around me. But if I am not worthless, then why don't people notice me...?
Art, character and story © me
Category Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Wolf
Size 1280 x 904px
File Size 723.1 kB
I now the feeling of being alone its how I Sparta just started wearing a smile through my life no matter what I would be happy. I even took on a motto when I became a fur. If a dragon cries its fire is put out. I swore to be the happiest I could be even if no one ever noticed me again. But yeah I know how being invisible feels and I'm sorry you feel that way. (Hug)
Very cute piece.
Very cute piece.
Your past isn't the happiest one. It did however shape and hone your skills. You're an excellent artist. Both with colors lines and shading, and with words. You paid homage to the writers and saw their worlds. I know the attentions of strangers here on FA pales in comparison as that from loved ones but still, it's noticed. Yout trials have made you stronger. And I thank you for the courage, to grant some knowledge about your past
Yeah and worst is, it lingers long time... you see people going through such hard times only because they were misunderstood. As for me, I still feel like I'm worthless when I see all these artists being successful, makes me feel like I'm just someone screaming in the crowds and people back off because I am "so annoying and trying to get popular"... or something.
them feels -gives multiple big hugs- being alone at school and bullying would probally have been me if i went through school in the normal public route. even though grade school was filled with me acting out drawing and being bullied and a side of some good things.
i just want to give that wolf a hug and give her a a chance to show me her drawings and hear of her tales of worlds not of this world so she wouldnt be in so much pain.
strangely back when i drew i found depression actually improved my drawing and writting skills. (and i suck at writting normally so to write anything good is a bonus. )
i just want to give that wolf a hug and give her a a chance to show me her drawings and hear of her tales of worlds not of this world so she wouldnt be in so much pain.
strangely back when i drew i found depression actually improved my drawing and writting skills. (and i suck at writting normally so to write anything good is a bonus. )
Nice drawing and story, she is cute.
I personally dont think how this story could relate to your life, you're way too pretty to go unnoticed by anyone, unless you instinctively push away everyone. Many heree can relate in some form either through personal abuse experiences or just depression or social awkwardness causing isolation.
Cheers.
I personally dont think how this story could relate to your life, you're way too pretty to go unnoticed by anyone, unless you instinctively push away everyone. Many heree can relate in some form either through personal abuse experiences or just depression or social awkwardness causing isolation.
Cheers.
Ah, if you have some form of AS that explains a lot. I don't and i've discovered AS though the fandom and interracted with a few friends. I have to admit it is difficult because there is a disconnect, and i've been taken by surprise, not understanding reactions, And vice versa, the other not understanding me.
All in all though, the fandom is a good place where you can find like minded people you can fit in with. :3
*hugs*
All in all though, the fandom is a good place where you can find like minded people you can fit in with. :3
*hugs*
Yeah, that's one of the difficulties, but you are right, there are quite a lot of people in the fandom with similar problems. Through this piece, I mostly wanted to show others that they are not alone, and show those who haven't been through something like this, that you shouldn't always judge people without getting to know a little about them. *hugs tight*
Keep up the good work. Your art is able to carry emotions, not every one pulls it off.
Your line art is very nice. Your lighting/shding is still not perfect but it works well.
If you dont have it yet, get the book on color theory by the guy who did dynotopia,
Its a great book and if you read it and get it, youll grow very fast.
Your line art is very nice. Your lighting/shding is still not perfect but it works well.
If you dont have it yet, get the book on color theory by the guy who did dynotopia,
Its a great book and if you read it and get it, youll grow very fast.
Yeah this pretty much my childhood, parents fighting, me hiding. Except I'm a technical only child.....my brother and sister and much older and had already moved out on their own. My dad was the one to punish and hurt me instead of my mom, but still the same stuff. He died of a heart attack while driving around 6th grade.
I oddly... can more than empathize with this.
Not surprisingly my parents also constantly fought when I was young, which also led to their divorce.
I also was considered different and by many a dreamer. I also sought art as a means of solace, as well as a means to get noticed.
In the end I got nothing... my art is loathed, my writings are as lost and forgotten if not hated, and my family would go to any lengths still just to get away from me.
I hope your life gets better and better. It seems to have improved. I'm hoping mine will improve someday.
Not surprisingly my parents also constantly fought when I was young, which also led to their divorce.
I also was considered different and by many a dreamer. I also sought art as a means of solace, as well as a means to get noticed.
In the end I got nothing... my art is loathed, my writings are as lost and forgotten if not hated, and my family would go to any lengths still just to get away from me.
I hope your life gets better and better. It seems to have improved. I'm hoping mine will improve someday.
Very wonderful story and artwork. I'd say you definitely are getting noticed, I'm glad I came across this art page when I came over to the site earlier. I hope to see more art from you and will most definitely +watch you ^w^
Keep up the good work and stay positive no matter how hard it may seem!
Keep up the good work and stay positive no matter how hard it may seem!
For what it's worth I know these feelings of frustration and loneliness. My story tells the same, save my home was a place of sanctuary and acceptance. I have aspergers as well, and when among people I might as well be invisible, I don't speak "human" as I sometimes joke. I don't know how to interract and ask for what i need. I want to be social, but second life is as close as I get. I created my own little worlds and have resided in them ever since. I noticed you. I see you. You're lovely.
Comments