Turns out his tail acts as a bit of a third leg turning him into a tripod. It's still a pain to get him free standing though XD (Xbox controller for scale)
What's next:
-Tail spikes
-Giving him some junk? So the crotchal area of his clothing is filled out more. (Yeah, let's go with that. Because I'm not a pervert ¬_¬ )
-Painting his spots on
-Clothing
-Celebrate with alcohol Send him to  bgn