
The burning ground tumbles around her. Her helmet spinning off in another direction. Vision blurred as the rattle of rocks and armor ping against her ears till she slid to a stop at the base of the broken wall. Fires smoldering around her as she lays there, almost lost to the world as the darkness begins to creep in, only to be case out by the voice.
“Get up girl. It’s not over.” came a whisper from within her head.
Around she could hear the echoing clashes of her Brothers and Sisters in Arms fighting. Holding the line even as the walls fell. Another blast rocks the earth beneath her as the sounds of rocks raining upon metal fill her ears. Slowly picking herself up she watches her shadow struggle and jerk, focusing on the blood dripping from her lips as it falls upon the barren dirt.
“That’ah girl. Grab my sword.” The voice continues on.
Her shaking hand reaches for her fallen father’s blade, while an actual voice chimes in the back of her head as her Bio-Gauge activates.
“Three minor rib fracture... Possible concussion… Muzzle broken… Large laceration to the left shoulder. Numerous smaller epidermal damages… Subject is at 63% combat efficiency. Please continue with the attack.”
She sighed heavily, tasting the warm blood upon her tongue as she adjusted the grip upon her given blade. All the battles had blended together into one ever struggle to find Death, not that he wasn’t with her constantly. In the faces of passing refuges, the screams of her foes, and vacant stares of her lost brethren. But his hands had yet to fall upon her shoulders.
Bloodied lips whispering her lament and only guiding force for the thousandth time: “To kill ones self… is the greatest of sins, but to die for the Church… a great honor… and a pass to the Heavens above. Maybe then I will see you again my daughter… I miss you.”
“Get up girl. It’s not over.” came a whisper from within her head.
Around she could hear the echoing clashes of her Brothers and Sisters in Arms fighting. Holding the line even as the walls fell. Another blast rocks the earth beneath her as the sounds of rocks raining upon metal fill her ears. Slowly picking herself up she watches her shadow struggle and jerk, focusing on the blood dripping from her lips as it falls upon the barren dirt.
“That’ah girl. Grab my sword.” The voice continues on.
Her shaking hand reaches for her fallen father’s blade, while an actual voice chimes in the back of her head as her Bio-Gauge activates.
“Three minor rib fracture... Possible concussion… Muzzle broken… Large laceration to the left shoulder. Numerous smaller epidermal damages… Subject is at 63% combat efficiency. Please continue with the attack.”
She sighed heavily, tasting the warm blood upon her tongue as she adjusted the grip upon her given blade. All the battles had blended together into one ever struggle to find Death, not that he wasn’t with her constantly. In the faces of passing refuges, the screams of her foes, and vacant stares of her lost brethren. But his hands had yet to fall upon her shoulders.
Bloodied lips whispering her lament and only guiding force for the thousandth time: “To kill ones self… is the greatest of sins, but to die for the Church… a great honor… and a pass to the Heavens above. Maybe then I will see you again my daughter… I miss you.”
Category All / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 378 x 680px
File Size 274 kB
Hm...
Your descriptions may have been a touch overboard (but that does match the piece very well.), and the overall feeling of this one is very depressing and bordering on a very clichéd and overdone topic, but you still do very good work.
I can say this for the girl though; She's at least crusading for something close to the right reasons. She isn't fighting because the church tells her to, but for the love of her father.
If you can't fight for the right reasons then you're not fighting; you're just destroying.
I can safely say that you're gaining ground as a writer. You're experimenting with new subjects, and still managing to get them to fit the art you put to them, Good work!
So good in fact that I think it warrants a little bit of shameless self-plugging.
Could you give me a critique or two if you get the time?
http://anotalenthack.deviantart.com/
Your descriptions may have been a touch overboard (but that does match the piece very well.), and the overall feeling of this one is very depressing and bordering on a very clichéd and overdone topic, but you still do very good work.
I can say this for the girl though; She's at least crusading for something close to the right reasons. She isn't fighting because the church tells her to, but for the love of her father.
If you can't fight for the right reasons then you're not fighting; you're just destroying.
I can safely say that you're gaining ground as a writer. You're experimenting with new subjects, and still managing to get them to fit the art you put to them, Good work!
So good in fact that I think it warrants a little bit of shameless self-plugging.
Could you give me a critique or two if you get the time?
http://anotalenthack.deviantart.com/
Well I do like taking the cliche' and tweaking it in just the right places... seeing what I can do with it. And yeah, it's a bit overboard here and there, but I've got a lot of comic book influances in me, and they're not typically ones for understatements.
And sure, I'll have a look when I can! If you don't hear anything from me soon, remind me... it's been on of those... days... months... decades?
-B!
And sure, I'll have a look when I can! If you don't hear anything from me soon, remind me... it's been on of those... days... months... decades?
-B!
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