*rests against his belly and sinks into it*

Whoa!

(crashes to the ground with a massive THUD as the chair's legs finally give way under the last few pounds)

Warn a guy foist, 'kay? (ruffles your header) Anythin' special y'wanna watch?

header=headfur

Autocorrect. Whattya gonna do?

Nah, I'm good.

I prefer to watch horror or sci-fi shows, actually, gnolly-poly.

'Gnolly-poly'?

(grabs you in a squishy headlock and noogies you playfully)

Watch it, you! I'm still strong enough ta mash ya flat!

*grunts* Sure, sure, I believe you can. Hard to deny you're like a living beanbag chair, though. What were you watching before, anyway? The Food Channel?

(rubs his stomach, ears flicking back in embarrassment as he releases the headlock)

Um... yeah. Watchin' dat show, Ginormous Food. Fun ta watch, but man, it makes ya hungry. An' whattya mean I'm a livin' benbag chair? I'm a gnoll! I ain't dat fat... am I?

I’ve always heard they have big appetites, and from what I can see it really shows. That chair would caved in even if I hadn’t contributed at all. I like your hyenine fatness and beanbag belly.

(scratches at his overstretched gut)

Heh... yeah, I am kinda huge, ain't I? It's da gnollish dream -- lotsa food and ya ain't gotta lift a fingah. Exahcise is too much like woik, ya know.

(rubs gut)

Man, I love ta eat.

(smiles down at you)

Don't mind gettin' hugged an' squished, neither.

You do seem perfect for giving and receiving them, you big furry softie. *kneads and presses face deep into doughy gnoll belly*

You can still walk, right?

Whaddya talkin' about? 'Course I can walk!

(rocks from side to side)

. . .

(rocks harder, beginning to pant)

Just... gimme... gimme a... minute...

(rocks harder, putting everything he's got into it)

Almost... dere...

(throws himself to one side, finally getting a big, blubbery leg under himself, and begins hoisting himself to his feet)

G-... Got it! Whoo!

(stands on tired, shaky legs and waddles toward you, legs throwing his belly side to side with each shortstep)

S-see? Tol'... Told'ja I could... still walk. Whoo!

(leans against a wall)

Just... lemme... lemme catch my breat'. Whoo...

Might need to cut back on your portions. I get the feeling you're just gonna lay there now for the rest of the day thereby needing me to move the TV in your direction. *falls onto cushiony belly and presses face deep into it as I begin to knead and play with it like Play-Doh.

(falls back down with a WHUMP that shakes the room)

OOF!

(leans back, panting)

Mmf... t'ink you... kinda like me... like dis... anyway. Whoo!

(leans back, growling with pleasure as you knead him like dough)

Yeah... (pant)... yeah, you... you do dat. 'N' bring me a few pizzas while yer at it. I gotta appetite, and did gnoll ain't... whoof... cuttin' back f' nobody! Gnolls eat.

Eh, Why not? This can be the one day per week I have pizza*Calls Pizza Hut and orders four triple cheese stuffed crust pizzas from Pizza Hut and asks for door delivery. Then switches channels until he finds a movie based on H.P. Lovecraft’s The Lurking Fear*

(reads the credits)

Lovecraft, huh? Long as it ain't "Pickman's Model" -- dem ghouls nevah look right.

Movies have trouble getting things right when comes to movie adaptations. I’ve memorized The Lurking Fear and could easily tell you the whole story in half the time if you have the attention span for it.

(shrugs, jiggling from the movement)

Eh. Lemme try da movie first. See how it goes from dere.

*The movie wasn’t entirely the same, but some similarities were definitely there: the Martense family, a mysterious hilltop manor and hideous creatures that turned out to be Martenses devolved over generations of inbreeding. It wasn’t too bad an adaptation.*

(shivers, smiles)

Whoa. Creepy stuff. Nice!

(stomach rumbles)

(rubs stomach... as much of it as he can reach, anyway)

Dem pizzas get here, yet?

*jumps on it like a medicine ball before getting up and standing straight*. I think they should be here any minute-*doorbell rings*now! Don't move! though I doubt you can, anyway.

*He went to the doorbell and gave the teenage deliveryman exact change before taking in the pizzas and putting them on the floor*

(When you return, the gnoll is suspiciously out of breath, though you can see he hasn't moved an inch.)

I-I... I ain't stuck! I.. c'n get up... if I wanna!

(The embarrassed tilt of the gnoll's ears tells you he's not as sure of that as he's trying to pretend. He's not a good liar.)

Just... I just wanna have pizza first!

Okay, first let me make some adjustments. * ahem* Lipis Nullus! *he sad as he pointed a finger towards the gnoll. This spell make 100 pounds vanish from someone’s body.*

Magic is still useful, even if it’s not used as much as before.

(yelps as he drops several inches)

Hey! Whaddya doin'?

You should be able to move a abut easier now. You’re still far from thin, but this should make things a bit easier now. Don’t you want to get up and savor this Italian delicacy? I know I do.

(blinks for a moment, then rolls over and stands up, panting slightly)

Awright, dat is easier. But I woulda made it eventually!

(grabs a pizza box)

Most folks siddown ta eat, d'ough. And, uh... Well, dat was my last chair.

(blushes, ears flicking back in embarrassment as he smiles)

I, uh, kinda broke all da uddah furniture.

(pulls out two pieces of triple-cheese stuffed cruse, rolls them into a cylinder, and takes a hefty bite; from the sounds he's making around a mouthful of dough and cheese, he likes it)

I kind of figured that out early on. That’s what the floor is for when you have nothing else. You are a ball of cheese and dough yourself, so of course you’d love this style of pizza. Think I’ll have some myself now.

(finishes his first two pieces in another bite, then grans and rolls up two more)

Heh. Betcha I can eat more 'n' you can.

(takes an even larger bite of this huge hunk of pizza, grinning eagerly around his full mouth)

(sits down, leaning against the wall rather than trying to fold his still-huge gut, which rests against the floor)

(snarfs down rest of two pieces, grabs two more)

Mm. (swallows) 'S like I said - a gnoll is always hungry!

*He put some garlic knots and two of the stuffed crust cheese slices on a plate* Hey, we are not in an eating contest. I care about my weight, believe it or not, and it's obvious you would win, anyways. *Jumps high enough to land on squishy jiggly dough knoll belly* You're belly is definitely a beanbag chair, now.

WHOOF!

(sloshes mightily as you land on him, backfat rising against the wall before he subsides)

Kinda hard on da dinner guest, ain't'cha? You was a little heavier, I woulda tossed my pizza.

(rubs belly proudly)

Beanbag, huh? Heh. Dat make me a love seat when ya ain't shrinkin' me down? Maybe ya wanna fatten me out inta a sofa?

(guffaws loudly, then snarfs down two more slices)

You're big enough, I'd say, and you honestly fatten yourself up just fine on your own, anyway. You pretty much are as large as a sofa now. *he says as he kneads and jiggles squishy jiggly gnoll belly while eating his slices far ore slowly than the mass of lard beneath him*

(blushes, smiling)

I... I ain't dat big.

(rubs belly)

Am I? I mean, ya shrunk me. I... I ain't dat big!

(stomach grumbles)

Oof... gotta fill did monstah up. Growlin' at me already.

(makes a "sandwich" out of four slices of pizza and begins chomping it down)


Mmf... I'm a gnoll. Appetite goes on forevah.

Yeah, and that appetite is why you’re so fat. You can’t deny your massive size no matter how much you try. I like to eat, too, but I try to control my appetite better. Gnolls can manage being so fat, but humans definitely cannot. *he said as he finished off the garlic knots*

Massive...

(smiles, rubbing the parts of his gut that he can reach)

Massive... dat, dat's a good word, dere. 'Massive'. Makes me, y'know, feel big.

(grabs and jiggles the part of his gut he can reach -- such a small part by comparison that the ripples barely reach you)

'Massive'. I. Am. Massive.

(grins, blushing as his ears twitch in embarrassment)

I like it.

(stomach grumbles)

Oof. (rubs belly) Still hungry. Gotta keep eatin'.

(reaches out... and finds an empty box)

Uh?

(tries to reach farther -- but between his belly and you sitting on him, cannot reach the other boxes)

UrrrrRRRF!

(falls back, panting)

You... you wanna pas me s'more pizza, buddy? Gotta fill me up.

(grins, tongue lolling out)

I'm 'massive', y'know.

*Lifts up the other four boxes without getting off the belly and rests them on the upper part of his chest* Lazy, squishy, good-for nothing gnoll, you are. Hopefully you can at least reach the boxes there. I’ve heard pickled chicken eggs are a gnoll’s favorite food, of all things. Well you’re no egghead, but you have an a round, egg-shaped body, undoubtedly. Do you play video games whenever you’re cooped up in here?

(blushes)

Heh... t'anks.

(rolls up two slices into a cylinder and starts eating them like a burrito)

Mmf... dat's every gnoll's dream, y'know. Livin' da good life, gettin' good an' fat, nevah havin' ta lift a fingah...

(rubs as much if his belly as he can reach, takes another bite)

Mmf.. feels good, y'know?

(ears perk up)

Oh, yeah. Got a... whazzit... X-Box anna few games inna closet ovah dere. I don't fit, d'ough, so you're gonna have ta hook it up. Ain't had nobody ta really play wit' for a while.

Oh, well, what games do you have, tubbo? I have a Switch, PS3, PS4 and PSVita. I’m quite an avid game enthusiast. Xbox One or 360. *bounces up and down on the belly while sitting, making it jiggle conspicuously*

Oof-oof-oof! Hey, I ain't a bounce house, yanno? Tryin'a eat here!

(downs half a pizza in a four-slice 'sandwich', regardless of belly-bouncing)

Mmf! Yeah, I gotcha T'ree-sixty. Lemme see, I got, uh, G-T-A Four, Fallout T'ree, Rise O' Nightmares -- maybe you can play it, I don't fit in da Kinect field -- oh, and Call O' Duty 2.

(builds another four-slice 'sandwich' to finish off the rest of that pizza)

Mmf! Good pizza! You know a good place!

(opens the next box)

Oh, so you still prefer the old school games? And you honestly do feel like a bounce house, being so soft, jiggly and squishy, so I simply can't resist. How many pizzas can you even eat, at maximum?

(starts to guffaw, stops, swallows, laughs)

I dunno, y'know? Just keep eatin' 'til I run outs food. Don't usually get full. We gonna find out?

(scratches his belly as he chews before continuing)

Yeah, picked up dat game t'ing when I started slowin' down.

(thumps his gut, sending a ripple across his blubber)

Takes a lotta work ta move all dis gnoll.

(blushes)

I, uh, ain't too good at da games, d'ough. Keep mashin' too many buttons. Dumb controller's too small.

That’s more your fault than anything else for eating to get so big. How can you afford to eat so much. You aren’t the sophisticated blue blood type, by any means. There’s has to be more dough on you than in your bank account.

(ears go back)

Hey! Just 'cause I ain't some fancy talker like you, d'at don't mean I ain't important, okay?

(grumbles, ears flip forward again)

Anyhoo, I'm part o' da biggest gnoll pack around d'ese parts. We got way more food an' stuff d'an we need, an' t's all gotta go someplace, right? So I, yanno, polish off da extras.

(rubs the part of his belly he can reach)

We got a good t'ing goin', here. Da bottom ranks work, an' us higher-up types, we supahvise. Me, I'm da pack leadah's t'ird son, so I get to kick back an' relax. Yanno, show off just how good we got it.

(thumps his gut proudly, setting it a-slosh for a moment)

I don't gotta do nuttin'! All's I gotta do is kick back, relax an' eat everyt'ing I get.

(raises his chins proudly)

You know I ain't been able ta fit t'roo da door in ovah a year? Dat's how big I am! I'm 'massive', remembah? So don't you go tellin' me I ain't important just 'cause I don't got no fancy words like you got!

I never directly said you weren’t important, did I? I just found it strange how you’re able to have so much food and the like, when you’re too fat to work at any job even if you wanted to. Makes even more sense, though, that you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. How else would you be able to live such a lazy life of luxury? *pokes huge squishy belly deep into lardy* belly

(ears back)

Well, you... you said I wadn't 'fisticated. Dat means you t'ink I'm dumb, right?

(stomach grumbles)

Man... all dis talkin' is makin' me hungry.

(snarfs down the last four slices of that pizza, the rolls the entire next pizza into a mega-burrito and starts chomping on it)

Mmf... good... I'm plenty smart! (chomp) Mmf... I get all da food I c'n eat... (chomp, mmf)... don't gotta do nuttin'... (chomp, gromf)... but sit 'n' eat. (chomp, gromf)

(rolls last of the four pizzas into another mega-burrito)

Good (chomp, gromf)... good t'ing, too, 'cuz (chomp, gromf)... I get real (chomp, gromf), real hungry sometimes. (chomp, chomp, gromf)

(notices empty boxes)

Heh... we out already? C'mon, takes more 'n' a few pizzas t'stuff dis gnoll. I wanna get full!

*A little unnerved by the pace and voracity of the gnoll’s pizza binge* You’re not going to eat me, right? *laughs nervously, body shaking slightly* I can easily order from somewhere else. Maybe from Mellow Mushroom? I love that place.

And when I say unsophisticated, I mean you clearly don’t place much emphasis on table manners and clothes you wear and the like like many rich people. You strike me as being more crass than class.

(stops short, blinking, ears flat)

Wait, what? What!? Eat you?

(grumble-growls)

Look, I know some gnolls ain't smart enough ta leave da bad old days behind 'em, but my pack ain't like dat, awright? We're civilized gnolls, okay? We do NOT eat PEOPLE. Eatin' people is stupid, an' wrong, an' hard work besides. So no, I ain't gonna eat'cha, awright? Jus' cause I get really hungry sometimes don't mean I'm gonna stuff ya down my t'roat.

(thinks, gives you a look askance)

Besides, now dat I t'ink about it -- how'd I catch ya, anyway? By da time I got off my fat rump, you'd be out da door an' down da street. So's even if I was dat stupid, I couldn't get hold o' ya ta do it. So no more o' dat kind'a talk, awright?

(rubs what he can reach of his belly)

But, yeah, more pizza sounds good. Or, yanno, whatevah. I'm a gnoll. "Picky eater" ain't my style.

Hmph. "Crass", huh? Well, I ain't no hoity-toity elf, dat's for sure. If eatin' an' wearin' what I like makes me 'uns'fisticated" an' "crass", d'en dat's dine by me.

*finished and called Mellow Mushroom by the time he finished speaking* Well 10 white pizzas and 5 pepperoni pizzas should do it, and 10 of their brownies.

*lays in belly with arms and legs sprawled out, playing and kneading with as much belly as he can* Also, to be he honest, you’re the kindest, nicest gnoll I’ve ever met, and I don’t really know any gnolls personally, you know. I was nervous, though. I’ve had bad experiences with gnolls. I was the most intelligent kid in school, and I was targeted by these three gnolls that were at least two feet taller than me. They did a lot typical bully things and other things I don’t want to talk about. If it weren’t for my family’s love, I might have walked off a cliff by now.

Whoa...

(reaches as far as he can, takes hold of your shoulders, and pulls you against his gut)

I'm sorry. Y'know? Didden mean ta upset ya. I know us gnolls can be kinda tough customers, sometimes.

(chuckles sadly)

But, yeah -- we gnolls grow up fast. Live fast, die young, dat's us. So, y'know, dere's dat. Dose guys'll be dead o' old age before you get a gray hair.

(shakes head, chins jiggling)

Man, dis conversation went dahk. Howzabout I shut up an' enjoy da company? Cause dat belly-rub ya givin' me feels reeeeal good.

It just helps to get things off of your chest to anyone kind enough to listen. I’m grateful you listened, and there’s no need for you to be sorry about anything, you didn’t do anything. I wanted to believe not all gnolls were bad, and now I’m happy to see I was right to believ that. *squeezes belly like a four pronged claw made for grabbing toys in a toy machine*

(chuckles) Heh. Glad ta be yer stress ball. So, you gonna hand me my hide at any videogames?

Well, butterball, do you have Mortal Kombat or Super Smash Bros.? Those are some classic fighting games. Do you think that you can play well enough with those large, butter stick fingers of yours, big boy? *drums belly like a tom-tom*

Hey now, my hands are bigger'n ya head! (ears flick back in embarrassment) Ain't my fault humans don't build controllahs f'gnolls, y'know. *ears flick forward) Besides, 'less you can keep ya hands on da controllah an' offa my gut, I just might win. But, uh... (ears flick back in embarrassment) Uh, I don't got Supah Smash Bros. D'at ain't a Xbox title. Sorry. (ears flick forward) I t'ink I got MK, d'ough. Like I said, I, uh... (ears flick back) I can't, y'know, fit into da closet ta get da t'ings out.

(rubs belly)

Hope d'ose pizzas get here soon...

Well, then let's fix that. *runs into the closet in order to get the Xbox out of the closet and manages to set it up on the television*. Okay, I think that does it just fine. Now we just have to wait until the pizza gets here. We have enough controllers, too. *doorbell rings* Man, they move fast. *pays the deliveryman and sets all the food atop the knolls belly and gets on top of the belly* Life is short, eat dessert, the ten brownies, first.