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I've been reluctant to post this... even draw it. I don't like going to dark places when I draw, it's often unproductive. But this has been looming in my head since it happened, so I guess this is some sort of therapy for me... so pardon the wordvomit
Almost a year ago, my dear friend DarkZel passed away. He was killed in a car accident. And I think for the past year while I've logically accepted it - part of me has been so detached I don't think I ever accepted that he was gone. Slowly but surely it has.
I still find myself idly hoping he'll pop up online and tell me the newest things he's doing in South Korea - he was teaching a bunch of gradeschool students english. He told me he once showed them a photo of me, he said they were always fascinated by my beard...
He never failed to be a bright spot in my life. He could be going through the most frustrating things, but no matter what, he'd be happy to talk to me. He was always warm to me.
The last thing I told him, ever, was that he was important to me. That I was lucky to have him as a friend.
I didn't take issue telling people how important they are to me before then, and I still don't.
The only feeling I have, the only inkling of regret I feel, is that he was one of those friends that needed protecting. And I couldn't.
I know it's not my fault, I'm not looking for someone to tell me everything will be alright. Life has gone on and I'm okay.
This is just a place I visit from time to time.
* He used to call me "Donobutter" on top of a plethora of other names.
I've been reluctant to post this... even draw it. I don't like going to dark places when I draw, it's often unproductive. But this has been looming in my head since it happened, so I guess this is some sort of therapy for me... so pardon the wordvomit
Almost a year ago, my dear friend DarkZel passed away. He was killed in a car accident. And I think for the past year while I've logically accepted it - part of me has been so detached I don't think I ever accepted that he was gone. Slowly but surely it has.
I still find myself idly hoping he'll pop up online and tell me the newest things he's doing in South Korea - he was teaching a bunch of gradeschool students english. He told me he once showed them a photo of me, he said they were always fascinated by my beard...
He never failed to be a bright spot in my life. He could be going through the most frustrating things, but no matter what, he'd be happy to talk to me. He was always warm to me.
The last thing I told him, ever, was that he was important to me. That I was lucky to have him as a friend.
I didn't take issue telling people how important they are to me before then, and I still don't.
The only feeling I have, the only inkling of regret I feel, is that he was one of those friends that needed protecting. And I couldn't.
I know it's not my fault, I'm not looking for someone to tell me everything will be alright. Life has gone on and I'm okay.
This is just a place I visit from time to time.
* He used to call me "Donobutter" on top of a plethora of other names.
Category Artwork (Digital) / Comics
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 720 x 1280px
File Size 114.4 kB
::Offers a soft hug:: This will be a hard time for you, but in hard times, remember that there are people here for you- people you may or may not even know that won't mind helping you in any way through this. If I can be of any help, let me know and I'll send you my Skype or something, and we can chat. I don't know how this particular loss feels, but I've had my share.
Try to sit back and think of all the good things that happened, all the good times. Sometimes its best to just let it run through.
Try to sit back and think of all the good things that happened, all the good times. Sometimes its best to just let it run through.
I wish I could say something aside from: Good luck and that in ever memory of him that you cherish, good or bad, he lives on in those and inside of your heart. And because of that he will always be there to protect you. <=')
I do not know him, but I think he would have been so proud of what you have dun this past year and will be even more proud of you for the things to come. ^^
I do not know him, but I think he would have been so proud of what you have dun this past year and will be even more proud of you for the things to come. ^^
Don't be reluctant, Do not hesitate to post such strong emotions. Frankly it is a good thing. Remember those who we loved who left the world too soon...Letting your emotions flow free and drawing it out is a trait that makes you a breathing being, Someone who still shows love for a lost friend... Don't ever hesitate Don. Let them out, it what makes us human after all. I am sure your friend is happy to see someone who still remembers him. But like all passings, Remember the good times not the bad. He is only gone for the moment Don, We all have to go that place at one point in our lives. You both will see each other again.
I was reluctant to post because no matter how articulate with my feelings I can be I will always feel no one will truly get it. But this can be said for anyone and not just something I myself deal with. I don't necessarily feel obliged to share my most intimate feelings with the world, but with the select few friends that I feel will hear me out and understand me in the way I need. So yeah my reluctance isn't out of being shy - it's more out of just not wanting to subject myself to public opinion or feel that I owe anyone an explanation for my very human feelings.
Thank you very much for the kind words dude.
Thank you very much for the kind words dude.
sorry to know that you lost someone dear to you, but, if there's some one important to you, don't hold that words, many people appreciate that, even if they are not used to know that.
it's always sad to know that nice people tend to die "earlier" I'm not going to tell you to not to be sad, you are on your right to be sad as much as you want.
wish you good luck
it's always sad to know that nice people tend to die "earlier" I'm not going to tell you to not to be sad, you are on your right to be sad as much as you want.
wish you good luck
*hugs* I understand how you feel man...and I'm sure that wherever he is...he is really glad to have you as a friend and he is proud that all of his friends still think about him...but he may be like "Hey guys! Don't be sad...I'm still in your hearts you know? I will always be there in that special corner in your hearts. But hey...I just want you to be happy and live your lives as best as you can do."
Shortly, he appreciates that you still think about him but what (I think) he would really like is keep to him in our hearts and smile everyday
Shortly, he appreciates that you still think about him but what (I think) he would really like is keep to him in our hearts and smile everyday
You know, it's people like him that keep you moving forward, even when they're not around anymore. The memories you have of your experiences with him will bring you up to a sweeter state in your most bitter times, and with that comes a drive to push forward and live through the rushing current. You keep doing what you're doing and be proud of it. I'm sure Dark would be.
I don't think I have ever seen a piece of art that hit me with such an emotional reaction right away. I didn't even read the description and I already knew he was close to you. It's never easy talking about these sort of things, but I truly respect your courage and trust to share such a part of your life.
I never had the chance to talk to the guy myself, he was just someone interesting to me that I thought I'd like to commission one day. But thanks to looking through some old stuff and stumbling onto some old pictures of his I'd saved it got me thinking about him the other day myself. Its crazy how fleeting life can be, and its good you took the time to let him know how important he was to you.
It must have taken a lot for you to come out with this. I'm not going to shower you in RP hugs or whatever, but I will say that this piece says an awful lot.
More than words can really express. I don't regret having you as a friend and I'm thankful to have you in my life. If that means anything.
More than words can really express. I don't regret having you as a friend and I'm thankful to have you in my life. If that means anything.
There isn't anything I can say that can possibly make you feel better and hit you in the heart. Even though this is an overused song, music often delivers messages what the voice cannot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxPj3GAYYZ0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxPj3GAYYZ0
This made a tear out from me, I didn't know your friend,
but this is one of the beautiful things you can do, remembering and giving honour to someone with your art.
This picture contains a lot of emotions, you may have accept it for a part,
but somehow, I can feel in this picture, it had to be difficult to be drawn.
My deepest condolences and may he rest in peace.
You have a kind heart for doing this, stay awesome like that!
but this is one of the beautiful things you can do, remembering and giving honour to someone with your art.
This picture contains a lot of emotions, you may have accept it for a part,
but somehow, I can feel in this picture, it had to be difficult to be drawn.
My deepest condolences and may he rest in peace.
You have a kind heart for doing this, stay awesome like that!
It's funny. I was thinking of him in passing just this week.
He was never a friend of mine, he was just an artist I liked and had commissioned once. But...he seemed like he was pretty cool, and it was terrible what happened. I was just between classes, and for some reason, he popped into my head. So...even though he's gone, it's not as if his memory will ever easily fade. I don't know if that helps you feel any better, but...I dunno, I wanted to see if it did. :/
He was never a friend of mine, he was just an artist I liked and had commissioned once. But...he seemed like he was pretty cool, and it was terrible what happened. I was just between classes, and for some reason, he popped into my head. So...even though he's gone, it's not as if his memory will ever easily fade. I don't know if that helps you feel any better, but...I dunno, I wanted to see if it did. :/
I can tell you this much...I am crying at the way you wrote this. Now understanding the context makes it even more eloquent. Your friend would be proud of you though, for carrying on, staying as strong as you can. Keep your chin up. The important thing is that despite all of this, you have not forgotten him. He continues to live on inside your heart.
Never forget him, and he'll continue to be there for you man.
Never forget him, and he'll continue to be there for you man.
This literally made me cry. * hugs you tight* love like this means one thing Hes not ever gone because that love of your friend lives inside you. Its so hard to grasp that because they aren't physically there.It took me years. But him knowing your feelings should be a great comforting force to you. Live for him. This was beautiful. And I hope this helps others dealing with a loss.
My husband, 
musclewolf showed me this today. He came and sat down next to me, all misty-eyed. We talked about our own future, if and when this may happen to us. It gave us a lot of food for thought.
However, I told him that you needed to draw this. Sometimes our art becomes the way we deal with grief. It becomes a cathartic in which we help heal. Not only that, but the artwork and sentiment is a powerful testament to your love for you friend. So we both need to say "thank-you" for this powerful sharing of such an intimate moment.
While we both share your sorrow with you, please understand that he still lives in the ways we remember him.
Love always,
dineegla & musclewolf
musclewolf showed me this today. He came and sat down next to me, all misty-eyed. We talked about our own future, if and when this may happen to us. It gave us a lot of food for thought.However, I told him that you needed to draw this. Sometimes our art becomes the way we deal with grief. It becomes a cathartic in which we help heal. Not only that, but the artwork and sentiment is a powerful testament to your love for you friend. So we both need to say "thank-you" for this powerful sharing of such an intimate moment.
While we both share your sorrow with you, please understand that he still lives in the ways we remember him.
Love always,
dineegla & musclewolf 
My condolences for your loss, it must have been quite painful to go through this, hell I'm feeling pretty bad for this as well. I bet he would have been quite a nice person for several others to meet and get to know, and I'm sad that he's gone as he was doing great things for people. Continuing to move forward after a close or loved one's death is never easy, and it takes a lot of time to really vent everything out, and I'm glad that you have tried to let people know how you feel.
I really am greatly sorry for your loss, and I wish I had more to offer than just words. :c
I really am greatly sorry for your loss, and I wish I had more to offer than just words. :c
Oh my God...this made me absolutely break down just from that first shot of him looking up at you so cutely, and then at the end...
This was absolutely needed though, for you for certain but it also has clearly touched so many who didn't even know him but wished they did. I am one. It oddly reminds me of an old SNL sketch with Gilda Radner as Greta Garbo type, saying faddwell to one of her fans. I don't know why except for the context of her death. Except you the POV character are in the pic.
Thank you so much for drawing and posting this. It's beautiful, powerful, sweet, and so emotional...it really shows what he was like, and why and how much you love him. *HUGS*
This was absolutely needed though, for you for certain but it also has clearly touched so many who didn't even know him but wished they did. I am one. It oddly reminds me of an old SNL sketch with Gilda Radner as Greta Garbo type, saying faddwell to one of her fans. I don't know why except for the context of her death. Except you the POV character are in the pic.
Thank you so much for drawing and posting this. It's beautiful, powerful, sweet, and so emotional...it really shows what he was like, and why and how much you love him. *HUGS*
*Tries hard to control his emotions* I know the pain you're feeling, and even though time has gone, it's still there. I lost my mother not too long ago, and that hurt it still there. But at the same time, I move on, I think of how happy she would be, to know that I've found my place, and I'm pressing on, if not for her, but for myself. They may be gone, but not forgotten. Your friend will always be part of you, and in times of sadness, just think of the good times you had with them. It helps me, and I'm sorry I seem to be rambling here, but your picture really touched me, and I love it for the depth it has, even though it's very simple.
My condolences for you loss, unfortunately it doesn't get any easier and there's not anything another person can say that makes the pain to away. At the very least you can take comfort in the fact that you were able to tell him how much he meant to you before his untimely passing. I've never experienced this personally, but my younger sister has had two friends pass away much too soon and it made my heart absolutely ache seeing her try to continue on with her life as though nothing had changed but inside she was in the verge of breaking down and destroying herself. I hope that you aren't in this dark place for long and instead can reminisce of the happy memories you both created. I send my love and positive thoughts your way to get you through this rough time. And I just wanted to say this piece is beautifully done and very emotion provoking.
hey man.. don't let anyone tell you how to Greave… there is no right or wrong way when it comes to a loss like that.. its natural.. just don't forget.. your still alive, so don't forget that.. be sad, cry, laugh when u remember something funny you two did together.. but keep moving forward and honor him by remembering and being happy. *hugs*
I won't claim to know how you feel, but I've lost several people in my life, and there is always an emptiness.
The one thing that helps is that I know as long as they are in my heart and mind, they are never "really" gone.
"Like a wind crying endlessly through the universe
time carries away the names & deeds of conquerers and commoners alike.
And all that we were
all that remains
is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment."
My thoughts and best wishes are with you!
The one thing that helps is that I know as long as they are in my heart and mind, they are never "really" gone.
"Like a wind crying endlessly through the universe
time carries away the names & deeds of conquerers and commoners alike.
And all that we were
all that remains
is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment."
My thoughts and best wishes are with you!
Time passes, wounds heal, but memories forever remain.
I know it may not mean much from a random person on the internet, but regardless of that. *hugs tight* I hope you feel better soon.
If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to give me a poke here or there. I'm not perfect but I do try to be a good listener. ^^;
I know it may not mean much from a random person on the internet, but regardless of that. *hugs tight* I hope you feel better soon.
If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to give me a poke here or there. I'm not perfect but I do try to be a good listener. ^^;
It was very difficult coming to terms with the idea that someone I held in my arms a number of times was no longer alive. Which is kinda what this comic was about.
I do miss him quite a bit, though I can't say I can express any bitter regret on my end. But that's just my way of mourning.
I was actually kinda hoping you'd see this, I just didn't want to push it on you ^^; I knew you knew him and it was nice not feeling alone in the matter.
I do miss him quite a bit, though I can't say I can express any bitter regret on my end. But that's just my way of mourning.
I was actually kinda hoping you'd see this, I just didn't want to push it on you ^^; I knew you knew him and it was nice not feeling alone in the matter.
It wasn't pushed on me at all; I would have loved to have seen this even in private, if you hadn't wanted to post it. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. :)
It's nice to be reminded now and then that there were a lot of people he touched and brought happiness to. I think those are the things to aspire to in life, and it brings me a bit of bittersweet peace to know Zel accomplished that in ways I could only hope to.
Ah, well... We will meet again in another life. We'll just have to wait and be patient, right? :')
It's nice to be reminded now and then that there were a lot of people he touched and brought happiness to. I think those are the things to aspire to in life, and it brings me a bit of bittersweet peace to know Zel accomplished that in ways I could only hope to.
Ah, well... We will meet again in another life. We'll just have to wait and be patient, right? :')
This reminds of my 3 friends I had in elementary school we were all rejects and we became friends for the rest of elementary school but on day My friend Johnathan moved away I didn't know my Friend Oscar moved away to a different school in 6th grade I can only call or text him and my last friend was Tykessia a girl who I help out when she was made fun of her looks by the other girls when I want to a middle school for gifted Stundents called metro she moved away to.Its hard trying to forget bad things but they were my best friends I'm in 9th grade now thinking they will come back I wait by the bench under a crooked tree in the playground at Gibson elementary because we all promised one day to go to that place where we all met.I go there everyday to see if they well and I'm still waiting but remember everyone when you lose someone dear to you there still there in your mind and heart😢
There is nothing wrong with some art therapy. After all isn't that part of what art is? Self expression, and if need be an outlet for emotions whether good or bad, happy or angry art is a way to express those feelings. Never be sorry for taking part in a little art therapy.
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