I realized I hadn't submitted anything in the last year, so I sat down with my tablet and scribbled away until daylight had passed.

There's so much more I could be doing with my life right now, but this seemed to be the best way for me to channel out some of the angst and hopelessness that's been pulling me down lately.

Times aren't getting better in the U.S.A.. Work is hard to find, and work that's relevant to my skills and education is even rarer. I still haven't gotten an entry-level game design position of any kind, and I graduated in 2006. I'm worried constantly that I'll never amount to anything, especially when it comes down to eking out an existence as an artist.

I wonder about the path I've chosen. I wish that I could trade in the chips and deal a new hand; reroll the dice and choose a new dump stat; start over with all of the potential I had before. I keep kicking myself that I didn't push myself harder for a technical education that would actually bring home the bread.

It just starts to feel like there are two worlds: The world that I express in art, and the real world. The worst part about feeling this way is getting the pressure on your shoulders that says you have to choose one or the other.

This is a reflection of what's going on in my life right now, I suppose.