
i am deeply unsatisfied with my life
i need to start over. i need to change everything. everyone.
do you ever just look at the people around you and feel so completely fucking inadequate? not successful enough, not talented enough, enough friends, enough wild experiences, a nice enough body, enough of a fucking path???? i just want to get out of the life ive been living until im trapped here forever
i just need to get this off my chest.
i need to start over. i need to change everything. everyone.
do you ever just look at the people around you and feel so completely fucking inadequate? not successful enough, not talented enough, enough friends, enough wild experiences, a nice enough body, enough of a fucking path???? i just want to get out of the life ive been living until im trapped here forever
i just need to get this off my chest.
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I feel you, K.
Sometimes I just look through the window and see just how lively everyone seems to be, how complete, how successful, how happy, how satisfied they seem with their lives, and then I look at the reflection on the mirror and look at my brown eyes and understand how empty I feel, how alone, incomplete, unsatisfied, sad, depressed, stressed, confused I am, how my life is so out of my control, how, no matter how much I try or what I do, I do not seem to full-fill the 100% request to be truly happy. And I can't blame my few friends, I can't blame my relationship with my family, I can't blame the decisions I took in the past, because those are already gone, I can't blame anyone but me, for being who I am right now.
Oh wow, sorry for the long comment. I better go now.
Love the expression and the feelings that you gave to this piece. Wish you the best, dear.
Sometimes I just look through the window and see just how lively everyone seems to be, how complete, how successful, how happy, how satisfied they seem with their lives, and then I look at the reflection on the mirror and look at my brown eyes and understand how empty I feel, how alone, incomplete, unsatisfied, sad, depressed, stressed, confused I am, how my life is so out of my control, how, no matter how much I try or what I do, I do not seem to full-fill the 100% request to be truly happy. And I can't blame my few friends, I can't blame my relationship with my family, I can't blame the decisions I took in the past, because those are already gone, I can't blame anyone but me, for being who I am right now.
Oh wow, sorry for the long comment. I better go now.
Love the expression and the feelings that you gave to this piece. Wish you the best, dear.
"The reason we struggle with insecurity is that we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."
http://www.structureinanunstructure.....hlightreel.jpg
http://www.structureinanunstructure.....hlightreel.jpg
I saw this and instantly reflected on the past few months of my own life. I have been feeling this and asking my self something similar. I really like this picture. Pretty, appealing, and nice art is good to see and favorite, but something that speaks to who you are is just a link to the heart that cannot be replicated. I hope you do find your happy beginning.
Every Single Day. I've never had a -"real"- job and I'm 25. I've never gotten my license so I cannot drive. I don't make enough money to help out my family or near enough to move out, I can't even pay off my student loan. I am sick and can't afford to get meds or change my diet to get healthier so yay that's a thing. Oh, and I've failed at 5 relationships so that's great. I also have my grandparents breathing down my neck about what I fucked up with my education and how I'm going to fuck it up more when I decide to be a teacher, oh. And I get to feel shitty because I am being told not to get a job in case my mom wants to move. Oh did I mention I still live with my mom? :D My life is wonderful.
I really hope that your life turns out better soon, and that things clear up/get better. Sorry to hear you have to deal with shit too. Best wishes yo.
I really hope that your life turns out better soon, and that things clear up/get better. Sorry to hear you have to deal with shit too. Best wishes yo.
I really hope you feel better :c
But It so happens that a lo t feel that way. we get to a point where we just get lost and don't know where we are anymore... and its a terrible feeling I get... yet things can get better I have had people help me out in this weird path we call life and I'd like to be of help if I can and If you let me :c But still, try to find some time for yourself. Clear your thoughts, clear your mind, and most important clear you heart. let go of any unwanted feelings and start anew. I get it's easier said than done, but give it time I know you'll find the answer!!!
Take care of yourself and have hopes for the best. :)
But It so happens that a lo t feel that way. we get to a point where we just get lost and don't know where we are anymore... and its a terrible feeling I get... yet things can get better I have had people help me out in this weird path we call life and I'd like to be of help if I can and If you let me :c But still, try to find some time for yourself. Clear your thoughts, clear your mind, and most important clear you heart. let go of any unwanted feelings and start anew. I get it's easier said than done, but give it time I know you'll find the answer!!!
Take care of yourself and have hopes for the best. :)
I know the feeling, yo.
For most of my life, I've lived in a black-hole small-town where the people are lucky to ever be able to move away from it. I never really had a lot of friends or fun times... never had a chance to "go out" 'cuz I lived so far out in the sticks. I spent 99% of my childhood and my teenage years either behind a desk in school or on my bed at home, playing videogames to escape the world and "live" somewhere interesting and... fulfilling.
But that was never enough for me.
Frankly, I've never felt like anything about my life--particularly myself--was special or even useful or practical.
I've realized what I need to do, and it will be a short time before I'm able to set my ideals in motion, but... There are three things you need to do.
First, decide if you want to change things. If you want the world you exist in to be different, for your -life- to be different, you have to choose to make it so.
Second... Decide -how- you want to make it different. Yes, we all want change... but -what- exactly do you want to change in your life? You can do nothing until you pinpoint these things.
Third... Decide what you're willing to give up for that change. Sometimes sacrifices are necessary. You may have to give things up to pursue other things, out of time or lack of resources. And deciding what you're willing to give up for it will help you put into perspective just how -much- you want the change, as well as keep you from sacrificing too much on a whim if the chance arrives.
The final step is simply to put the plans into motion... The hardest part.
Remember this, Kaity. Only you can decide what is best for yourself.
If ya ever wanna chat about this stuff to vent or discuss plans or whatever, I'm here for ya. Hell, if you ever want to vent anything I'm here. It's what I do. *shrug*
For most of my life, I've lived in a black-hole small-town where the people are lucky to ever be able to move away from it. I never really had a lot of friends or fun times... never had a chance to "go out" 'cuz I lived so far out in the sticks. I spent 99% of my childhood and my teenage years either behind a desk in school or on my bed at home, playing videogames to escape the world and "live" somewhere interesting and... fulfilling.
But that was never enough for me.
Frankly, I've never felt like anything about my life--particularly myself--was special or even useful or practical.
I've realized what I need to do, and it will be a short time before I'm able to set my ideals in motion, but... There are three things you need to do.
First, decide if you want to change things. If you want the world you exist in to be different, for your -life- to be different, you have to choose to make it so.
Second... Decide -how- you want to make it different. Yes, we all want change... but -what- exactly do you want to change in your life? You can do nothing until you pinpoint these things.
Third... Decide what you're willing to give up for that change. Sometimes sacrifices are necessary. You may have to give things up to pursue other things, out of time or lack of resources. And deciding what you're willing to give up for it will help you put into perspective just how -much- you want the change, as well as keep you from sacrificing too much on a whim if the chance arrives.
The final step is simply to put the plans into motion... The hardest part.
Remember this, Kaity. Only you can decide what is best for yourself.
If ya ever wanna chat about this stuff to vent or discuss plans or whatever, I'm here for ya. Hell, if you ever want to vent anything I'm here. It's what I do. *shrug*
It's easier than you think to get up and go. Work mega hard on art if you have no job, because as inadequate as you feel, you're still mega talented. Then start talking to the Melbourne furs, super lovely people who'd love your work, then find a place to crash, then get a working visa and live off art. I managed, you certainly can. I did it because these feelings overwhelmed me to the point of insanity. So yeh, no regrets, no sense of consequence. Do it and do it so hard that you'd think it's a fever dream c:
I understand how you feel. A lot of us feel that way. Hell, even 'successful' people feel that way, sweetie. I mean, think about what a successful typical life is today. Straight, married, both partners work, maybe they have children, most often latchkey kids or raised in other places. They barely have time to be together as a family and as a result slowly break apart. It takes iron just to hold it together and most often it's just being held together for togetherness' sake. And then the cycle repeats.
It's not fair. It sucks. The world presses down on top of you and it feels like there's nothing you can do. But some of us are artists and writers, and we express it in our art and stories, or poetry and music. It's painful. For those of us that can't do that, some of us roleplay. A lot. We escape our lives, but that becomes an addiction that ends up destroying what we have left if we don't moderate it. Even some of us who are the artists and such do the rp addiction thing. I have. I know others have.
Escape isn't the answer, it's an outlet. Art is an outlet and expression. Talking to friends or (gah) professionals is a way to cope. And it really is easier than you think to be able to do it. It's just that first step that's hard. But many like you have done it and many like you are waiting for you and encouraging you and would be willing to listen and hold you or your hand as you took the steps.
It's not fair. It sucks. The world presses down on top of you and it feels like there's nothing you can do. But some of us are artists and writers, and we express it in our art and stories, or poetry and music. It's painful. For those of us that can't do that, some of us roleplay. A lot. We escape our lives, but that becomes an addiction that ends up destroying what we have left if we don't moderate it. Even some of us who are the artists and such do the rp addiction thing. I have. I know others have.
Escape isn't the answer, it's an outlet. Art is an outlet and expression. Talking to friends or (gah) professionals is a way to cope. And it really is easier than you think to be able to do it. It's just that first step that's hard. But many like you have done it and many like you are waiting for you and encouraging you and would be willing to listen and hold you or your hand as you took the steps.
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