His breaths on my shoulder were trembling and uncertain, yet he held me with a strange determination. Whatever battle was being fought in his mind, I could only lean back against him and offer comfort in silence. I was never good with words.
It was okay. He didn't know what to say either.

Maybe it was too much to hope for, that we'd understand what we were doing or feel a fairy-tale confidence in it. The doubt, really, was the worst part. I didn't believe in destiny much, but I knew myself well enough to tell when my heart wasn't acting like it normally did. It didn't murmur soft now; it panged. I breathed out and felt my chest tighten again as it had every moment of him holding me, whispering sweet justifications against my skin. It was warm... I pressed my cheek to his hair and breathed against it, unsure of my own justification.

I didn't really believe in justification, either. What the heart wants, it takes by force. All you accomplish by justifying is reducing possible collateral. Otherwise, at least to my figuring, you just made yourself miserable by postponing. But he was different from me... He was afraid, and I understood. The thing is, you never really come away from things like this feeling the same. You can't go back to how things were. He was used to whimsy and simple things. This was now the most simple and complicated thing we'd ever felt. How he must have felt was beyond me, because he was good with words. He usually had a dozen to exchange for every one I gave.
But tonight, under the dim glow of the long-overdue christmas lights and the calming hum of a window fan, he was suddenly speechless.

"I think... I think I love you."
I could hear his voice break and my chest grew strangely still. It was what we'd both felt for weeks, yet it finally found a tangible form on our breaths. It was a small prayer that I felt kissed against my shoulder, seeping like a anesthetic into my skin and pulled to my throat to numb my own tongue. He seemed to take a second breath from my own lungs, fingers sliding over my cheek to slip me into an embrace closer than either of us were used to. I turned and could feel his breaths on my lip, but paused.
In a single moment I might have still avoided destiny.
I smiled.
And kissed him.


I never was very good with words.



--tiny bit of fiction for Grayson and Took. Sorry it's not very good, it's 3am and im tired--