USARA Chapter 1: Reborn Page 77
Category Artwork (Digital) / Transformation
Species Dragon (Other)
Size 964 x 1361px
File Size 750.9 kB
This story is really shaping up. although there are a couple of issues with the copy on this page. On panel 1 text bubble 1 she shifts from second to third person when she says "you're nothing but a scrawny mess that can't even defend himself" which is ok because it acts as a narrative way of showing distancing between the two characters but then you come right back to "you" at the end; making most of the sentence structure confusing. Also on panel 2, the inner monologue text blocks are conflicting with past and present tense.
Over all this is an awesome story and my critique shouldn't undermine that. just a bit of a type and grammar nut.
Over all this is an awesome story and my critique shouldn't undermine that. just a bit of a type and grammar nut.
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