Spy on Me

Leo the Patriotic Lion here. Another so-called punishment I must forever suffer from all the bellowing I’ve done and all the traumatizing I’ve caused is that I will never have any privacy again. However, in return, there is no invasion of privacy going on here; I know that the world will forever keep their eyes on me because of what I’ve done to them, unless it’s because I am away and in Zanta’s world, at which those beings would instead watch me. I have allowed them to do so; it’s all I can do, really. I’ve brought too much trouble to this world as it is, even without the bellowing, because my strong beliefs and morals have driven me to be the ultimate traditionalist, taking things too far and leading me to shove them down others’ throats. Why else do you think Irwin forced me to go shopping with him and buy all those things I didn’t need? (Is he still wanting to break the alliance and declare war on us, or is he satisfied by now?)

Chuong’s friends in the units known as the 3PU, OTSU, 3WM, and All-Star Unit are amongst the ones legally spying on me, on account of their agencies ordering them to do so. The CIA and FBI probably are watching my every move as well. It’s the ultimate behavior enforcement in one regard, but in another regard, if something crazy happens to me again on the level of getting shot, they’re there to come to my rescue. Of course, everywhere I go, bodyguards come my way to protect me so that I don’t get shot again. If you were to ask me, I would consider that the turning point of my life, given the fact that it taught the world these lessons: 1) I wasn’t invincible, because no one truly is except the divine man above in the form of the Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) according to Christianity’s preachers; 2) not everything is avoidable in life, although people think of storms in that regard, and 3) in spite of all controversial things I ever did, people still looked up to me as a great role model when taking out all the negative, because there were still many positive impacts I left on this globe. Never had the world been so united when I got shot, or even when Earth was destroyed by the heartless. Now the world was truly on our side, and that was all we ever wanted.

The news media and tabloids, on the other hand, said absolutely nothing about me, and for the most part, won’t say anything. I had ordered them not to for one thing during my campaign (I must have been really stressed out that day), and another reason is that my impact on history as Chuong and his friends have revealed is so big and so amazing, it is to be treated as sacred as the Holy Grail. No comics, television cartoons, or video games have ever been all about me, although some other G-52s (the Commander, Super C, in particular) have had those things. Anytime the news media does report me, it uses a headline in all caps (so I’m not yelling) that might say, “IS LEO’S INFLUENCE TOO STRONG?” (which indeed was the headline used when Chris Christie resigned thanks to Zachary Chandler and those other terrorists). During my month of probation which Super C placed himself on also, one headline that angered me on the inside stated “IS LEO A HAS-BEEN?” I suppose you can be the judge of that.

Still, the global fear of me will forever continue, and because of that, people will obey me regardless of whom I talk to, or assume that I will bellow at them based on their fears or on lies old nutso fatso fed the terrorists. Even though they wish to kill him, they believed most of his lies as truths. I have a feeling this is why politicians from around the globe surrendered when they saw me and let the ICC in the Netherlands give them a trial (although Christie was not on the list). The cruel Ben Ali saw me in person, and looking at my face was enough to give him a stroke. If he’s dead, he died while inside the maximum-security prison he was going inside anyway.

Political cartoonists around the globe are not afraid to use me in ways that make it obvious that they think very highly of me, much the same way King Abdullah might, since he sees me as a higher authority than him, and even as an angel sent from above by the highest deity (God to Christians and Allah to Muslims; I’ll let you debate whether or not they are the same being). One such cartoon from South Africa portrayed me as a giant lion standing on the earth and looking down upon its people, while its people faced me and looked up. Another one had me chasing down whichever corrupt politician it was (I can’t remember at the moment).

A more recent one to represent today portrayed me working in my house doing a music composition, but security cameras were all over my house, and the government was watching me from the other side. This caused an outrage within the public who want privacy more than anything else, and hate all the things about Obama care and such. These are folks all across America, and not just in Wildcat City, who also feel our society is demoralizing and dumbing down all the time, because of how dependent some people have become on technology, and because of technology, little kids at age two or three will be using those but won’t have any motor skills developed from playing with toys and such. (I have advised him and his cabinet in the past to just dump the whole thing in the trash and go back to the way things used to be with Medicare, but whether he has or not isn’t my business. No government happenings are my business.) I suppose you can be the judge of that.

And while it is true that Wildcat City needed the wake-up call from all 99.99% of furries (including myself) that wouldn’t use cell phones, laptops, iPads, or even regular television, because we wouldn’t step out of our comfort zones and made our moral codes way too strict, it’s also true that because our city possibly (but not very likely) may be the only one whose schools still teach penmanship and handwriting skills, as well as reading skills and spelling, and like the one school in Silicon Valley (oh the irony of this) won’t use any technology except for basic word processing on computers, test scores on ACTs and such were consistently scoring higher than the national average. “What have they got that we don’t?” one teacher in New York City once asked.

“I feel it is a case of ‘What have they don’t got that we do?’, if you ask me,” the school principal replied. (This was in 2005.) “They won’t update to the present; they’re just like the Amish. It obviously has its cons, but they don’t care. They live in their own little world. I can’t believe it’s not its own stand-alone country.” (Long before Bendraqi gave me the nightmare of that happening, people kept asking if it would happen. I guess fatso wasn’t aware of this because he claimed it was all his own idea. People naturally booed, hissed, and threw rotten produce at him.) After Eraquis brought Earth back, we made all the updates that Mayor Clarkson promised we’d make. The percentage that was 99.99% is dropping, although I think it’s only down to about 90%. We’re slow starters, but we are getting there.

The good news is that we will never lose our traditions that have made us unique, ranging from all the marching bands and all the American flags flying everywhere, to the festivals and celebrations we throw that put us into first place in that category, to the fact people flock all over in the hopes of seeing their favorite superheroes and possibly rock bands, given how some of the biggest names in rock, pop, and even country are originating from Wildcat City. (Take Cripto for instance; he’s not just a superhero. He fronts the hugely popular rock band Furry Fury, a band that does a variety of styles but is mostly the typical classic rock sound. What’s the difference between them and other bands who actually come from that era? They don’t do drugs, that’s what. Think about that.) Also, there’s something you should know, and we can’t explain it. Bendraqi has his own dramatizations, traumas, and nightmares every time he sees the American flag or hears our national anthem. So don’t be afraid to learn to sing it, play it, or fly the flag. It will guarantee you protection from him. It won’t stop him from wanting to destroy the world all because those parrots pecked on his head and tried to eat him alive, but he won’t get anywhere near the US anymore, assuming he’s broken out of prison.

As for the spying, I don’t mind it one bit. I deserve it. I have deserved it all my life. Folks just didn’t bother to start with it until now.

THE END

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All ideas used with permission
UN1024s, 3WM, 3PU, OSTU (C)  Chuong
Eterna and population (C)  Zanta Keplicus
Noah and population (C)  zakavatarz