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More from Major Matt Mason
Couch Kitties: Cats Trapped?!
It would appear that the bird trap from last week's strip has trapped Sylvia and Norma instead...
But I'm sure Tali will let them out.
Eventually.
Zeph ©
sharra Tali and the trapped kittehs © me.
http://couchkitties.comicgenesis.com/
But I'm sure Tali will let them out.
Eventually.
Zeph ©
sharra Tali and the trapped kittehs © me. http://couchkitties.comicgenesis.com/
Category Artwork (Digital) / Comics
Species Housecat
Size 1200 x 409px
File Size 245.3 kB
Sir William: Gentlemen! I have bad news. This room is surrounded by film.
Members: What? What?
(Several members run to window and look out. Cut to film of them looking out of mindow. Cut to studio: the members run to a door and open it. Cut to film: of them appearing at the door hesitating and then closing door. Cut to studio: with increasing panic they run to the second door. Cut to film: they appear, hesitate, and go back inside. Cut to studio: they run to Sir William in the centre of the room.)
A Member: We're trapped!
Sir William: Don't panic, we'll get out of this.
A Member: How?
Sir William: We'll tunnel our way out.
Barnes (Michael Palin): Good thinking, sir. I'll get the horse.
Sir William: Okay Captain, you detail three men start digging and load them up with cutlery, and then we'll have a rota, we'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?
(Barnes and others carry a vaulting horse into shot. The members start vaulting over it. Two Gestapo officers walk by.)
Mr Cutler: All right, Medwin, let's see you get over that horse. Pick your feet up, Medwin. Come on, boy!
1st German Officer: Ze stupid English. Zey are prisoners and all they do is the sport.
2nd German Officer: One thing worries me, Fritz.
1st German Officer: Ja?
2nd Germam Officer: Where's the traditional cheeky and lovable Cockney sergeant?
Sergeant: (donning tin helmet) Cheer up, Fritz, it may never happen (sing) Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner...
2nd German Officer: Good. Everything seems to be in order.
Members: What? What?
(Several members run to window and look out. Cut to film of them looking out of mindow. Cut to studio: the members run to a door and open it. Cut to film: of them appearing at the door hesitating and then closing door. Cut to studio: with increasing panic they run to the second door. Cut to film: they appear, hesitate, and go back inside. Cut to studio: they run to Sir William in the centre of the room.)
A Member: We're trapped!
Sir William: Don't panic, we'll get out of this.
A Member: How?
Sir William: We'll tunnel our way out.
Barnes (Michael Palin): Good thinking, sir. I'll get the horse.
Sir William: Okay Captain, you detail three men start digging and load them up with cutlery, and then we'll have a rota, we'll have two hours digging, two hours vaulting and then two hours sleeping, okay?
(Barnes and others carry a vaulting horse into shot. The members start vaulting over it. Two Gestapo officers walk by.)
Mr Cutler: All right, Medwin, let's see you get over that horse. Pick your feet up, Medwin. Come on, boy!
1st German Officer: Ze stupid English. Zey are prisoners and all they do is the sport.
2nd German Officer: One thing worries me, Fritz.
1st German Officer: Ja?
2nd Germam Officer: Where's the traditional cheeky and lovable Cockney sergeant?
Sergeant: (donning tin helmet) Cheer up, Fritz, it may never happen (sing) Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner...
2nd German Officer: Good. Everything seems to be in order.
Trim-Jeans Theatre Presents!
Gary: Other productions will include... the Trim-Jeans version of 'The Great Escape', with a cast of thousands losing well over fifteen hundred inches.
(Cut to scrubland, barbed wire a la prison camp in the background. After a few seconds a head appears out of a hole in the ground. He looks around then gets out. He is wearing trim-jeans. He looks back. Satisfied he beckons. Others start appearing. Three German guards behind the wire muttering.)
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'INCHES LOST SO FAR'
(A superimposed counter shows the numbers increasing.)
Guard: Achtung! Halt! Halt!
(A moment's panic. Shooting starts and a siren goes. Men pour out of hole rapidly. Guards pursue them with tracker dogs in trim-jeans. The counter goes berserk.)
Gary: Other productions will include... the Trim-Jeans version of 'The Great Escape', with a cast of thousands losing well over fifteen hundred inches.
(Cut to scrubland, barbed wire a la prison camp in the background. After a few seconds a head appears out of a hole in the ground. He looks around then gets out. He is wearing trim-jeans. He looks back. Satisfied he beckons. Others start appearing. Three German guards behind the wire muttering.)
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'INCHES LOST SO FAR'
(A superimposed counter shows the numbers increasing.)
Guard: Achtung! Halt! Halt!
(A moment's panic. Shooting starts and a siren goes. Men pour out of hole rapidly. Guards pursue them with tracker dogs in trim-jeans. The counter goes berserk.)
Priest: I am here. No traitor to the King.
First Knight: Absolve all those you have excommunicated.
Second Knight: Resign those powers you have arrogated.
Third Knight: Renew the obedience you have violated.
Fourth Knight: Lose inches off your hips, thighs, buttocks and abdomen.
First Knight: Absolve all those you have excommunicated.
Second Knight: Resign those powers you have arrogated.
Third Knight: Renew the obedience you have violated.
Fourth Knight: Lose inches off your hips, thighs, buttocks and abdomen.
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