F5 if it doesnt run the animation

i think this movie broke me. in a good way i say. I did not expect that ending.


so , again to borrow from the Simpsons. here’s my review: remember in the Simpsons, when homer eats a long sandwich and goes bad as time goes on but he keeps eating it. This franchise is that Sandwich. the first bite you took was good, wasn’t great but you enjoy it. second bite you took you noticed that the sandwich has gone bad, and now you have horrible diarrhea, then end result is a horrible show of loud noises and offensively smelling shit. but you got back for third bite, thinking it might recover some of that original taste, but nope. the sandwich is still bad and the diarrhea comes back in full force. so again you take a fourth bite and yeah, is just what you expected , but this time you have build up some immunity to it so all you have to do is sit there bored, waiting for it to pass. end the result is the is still the same piece of shit…correction: a slightly longer piece of shit.


with all that said. it was better movie than the past two films. there were definitely a lot of improvements , like:


- the transformers design look more define now, which makes them read easier during the action.

- no horrible, dumb humor

- Marky Mark replacing Shia Lebouf, that right there is like a humungous improvement.


but that’s it. everything is still bad. the only thing it does right to be consistently inconsistent with all its characters; who knew Optimus could fly at any time, could have been useful in a few fights. but i will say that now that the movie seems darker in tone, it kinda went from “bad bad” to “so bad its good”. kinda. part of it has to do with Mark Wahlberg, and how he plays it straight. he starred in my all time favorite comedy “the Happening” and his performance makes this a better film than it should. but this is still “Bayformer” film, so you got the same tired explosions and action, which were the real boring part of the movie. and the Dinobots are only in the last 20 minutes. if you see the trailers thats about half of the Dinobots footage right there. lame. i mean they could be cut out a the movie would have lost nothing. the biggest issues is that this movie is way too long, and none of if time is used to any benefit of the film. unless you count that it was used to shove in as many product placing opportunities as possible. maybe it work. i now have the urge to go to Victoria’s secret. its the brand Transformers love(to blow up).


so i recommend you go see it…with the Rifftrax audio track, whenever that becomes available.


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