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I've decided breaking up the story into chapters would be easier than what I had originally planned and I've kept this waiting long enough as it is.
So without further ado, here is the second chapter of Duncan's Tale.
In which our hero wakes up, wakes up again, protests too much, and swears a vow.
Click here to read from Chapter 1
So without further ado, here is the second chapter of Duncan's Tale.
In which our hero wakes up, wakes up again, protests too much, and swears a vow.
Click here to read from Chapter 1
Category Story / All
Species Pig / Swine
Size 120 x 83px
File Size 49 kB
Listed in Folders
A nice read. Poor Duncan. That would be a really messed up situation to be in. To be so close to potential help and yet so far.
Maybe this will teach him something about how pigs feel and let him develop some empathy for them so he'll be nicer to them should he get another chance. Then again, a natural pig would feel differently about and might not be bothered about things like not wearing clothes and doing the sorts of things pigs do. It would seem normal to them, but not to Duncan. Maybe it could help him to realize that they're the way they are simply because they're well, just designed that way and can't really help being pigs, so it might help him to feel some empathy for them in that sense. Maybe I'm over-thinking.
I think you've also done a good job showing a tf that does tend to be adult at times when people draw or write it and showing it more as it probably would be for someone that were to actually experience it. I.e., not being in control of it and with the humans present unaware, it would probably be pretty scary and embarrassing.
I can't help but think that maybe gaining some instincts may have made things a bit easier for Duncan, i.e., made him perhaps feel a bit more comfortable doing piggy things. However, I could see how that could create the problem where he might end up losing himself to his changed form and being unable to change back because of that.
Hopefully, he can find some positive about being a pig, even if he does decide to go back to being human should he get the chance, hopefully this form and the experiences he has in it can at least end up being tolerable for him.
Maybe this will teach him something about how pigs feel and let him develop some empathy for them so he'll be nicer to them should he get another chance. Then again, a natural pig would feel differently about and might not be bothered about things like not wearing clothes and doing the sorts of things pigs do. It would seem normal to them, but not to Duncan. Maybe it could help him to realize that they're the way they are simply because they're well, just designed that way and can't really help being pigs, so it might help him to feel some empathy for them in that sense. Maybe I'm over-thinking.
I think you've also done a good job showing a tf that does tend to be adult at times when people draw or write it and showing it more as it probably would be for someone that were to actually experience it. I.e., not being in control of it and with the humans present unaware, it would probably be pretty scary and embarrassing.
I can't help but think that maybe gaining some instincts may have made things a bit easier for Duncan, i.e., made him perhaps feel a bit more comfortable doing piggy things. However, I could see how that could create the problem where he might end up losing himself to his changed form and being unable to change back because of that.
Hopefully, he can find some positive about being a pig, even if he does decide to go back to being human should he get the chance, hopefully this form and the experiences he has in it can at least end up being tolerable for him.
Again, your writing is really splendid. It's engaging and you do care about Duncan. It's not just a "things happen to Duncan and we watch" sort of story.
RustyRaccoon's writeup was pretty good. I don't know what else to add other than that the pacing was very good, seemed a little more even this time. You've got a knack for writing.
RustyRaccoon's writeup was pretty good. I don't know what else to add other than that the pacing was very good, seemed a little more even this time. You've got a knack for writing.
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